It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Do you want to be married or do you want a dream wedding? If it’s the former, you can do that with little to no money at all. Just go down to the court house to say your “I Dos” and then have a potluck reception at your home — or the home of a close family member — afterward. Wear a dress you already own, borrow one from someone, or hit a thrift store and look for something appropriate. There’s no excuse NOT to get married after six years and two kids if you really want to. You can always throw a lavish anniversary party down the road if your financial situation changes.
We’ve tried all manner of ways to convince him not to drive after drinking, and nothing seems to sink in. If it wasn’t enough that his friends are always opposing his decision to drive, he’s also wrecked one car (with some of our friends as passengers) from driving recklessly after drinking, which he insists was not in any way alcohol-related. Luckily no one was hurt (except the car, which was totaled), and the police didn’t do any sort of sobriety testing for some reason, but I can’t understand how all of the talks against drunk driving PLUS the financial/logistical issues of losing your car haven’t sunk in a bit.
We live in a city where public transportation is not an issue, not to mention my apartment is well-equipped for boozy friends to stay the night. I believe every adult is capable of making his own decisions, and that everyone is responsible for his or her own choices, good and bad. But what do you do when your friend insists on making a potentially harmful choice time and time again? — Concerned Friend
Quit inviting him to places where there will be booze.
Not good. MOA.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.