I posted and replied to this letter in the forums from a 23-year-old woman who was pissed that her boyfriend planned a trip to Israel over NYE without consulting her or considering her. She said a NYE kiss wasn’t important to her boyfriend but it was to her, and she wrote: “He didn’t take my feelings into consideration when he made his decision to go. Do I have a reason to be upset? Or am I just over-reacting?” Some responders said it depends on how serious their relationship is and how long they’ve been together. I myself remembered when a similar thing happened to me years ago. My boyfriend of about seven months planned a holiday vacation (to Morocco) without consulting me or considering me. I’d invited him to come home for the holidays with me and he declined, and then he made plans to go on a vacation without me. Most of all, I was really hurt. I felt he wasn’t as invested in our relationship as I was. And I was right! (We broke up a couple months later).
So, I’m wondering: Does it matter how long a couple has been dating in terms of making solo vacation plans without consulting the other person? And if so, how long does a couple need to be together before they should consider and consult one another about that kind of thing?