It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss wedding gift etiquette, desperate girls, and what the eff.
My wedding is coming up soon and I was wondering what I should do when people come to my wedding but I never get a gift from them. I know this is a problem for at least two other brides who got married this year too. Neither knew if they should ask the person who didn’t get a gift if they truly indeed didn’t give one or leave it alone. Both chose to leave it alone, but they felt bad not being able to send a thank you note. The gift could have been lost or stolen in the mail and we’ll never know. What are your thoughts? Should I ask people who didn’t get a gift if they indeed didn’t give one? — Gift Love a Chance
Absolutely not; if the answer is “no,” imagine how awkward everyone will feel. Instead, send a thank you note for their attendance at your wedding and in helping you feel love and supported on such a special occasion. If they sent you a toaster that got lost in the mail, they’ll know from its absence in your note that it likely didn’t make it to you and they can follow-up from there.
I have been going out with my boyfriend for about eight months now and I have recently seen messages between him and some other girl saying, “I love you” and other things. He doesn’t say “I love you” to me unless we fight or I try walking away. I went through his phone and saw calls from other girls but he won’t even talk to me on the phone for more than a minute, and yet he says he loves me and wants to marry me. I’m on holiday now and I’m worried he will cheat while I’m away and I won’t know about. Also, he never takes me out and when I get angry about it, he makes up excuses for why he can’t take me out. But I love him and he made me meet his family and they knew were together, so I’m confused and I really don’t know what to do. Help. — WTF
If he’s telling other women he loves them and refuses to take you out, he’s really not your boyfriend and you need to MOA.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 months. I have a 4 year old daughter who’s not his, but she’s been becoming very attached to him. Recently, I found a few messages that he has been sending to more than 10 women, including his ex fiancée of 4 years, whom he says he hates because she treated him like crap. I was snooping because I found the way that he always brought her up was odd — you know, for someone who hates his ex. He’s telling her he still loves her, and telling others girls that technically I’m not his girlfriend. He and I have past history; I lost my virginity to him when I was younger we dated along time ago. We’re pretty much just trying to pick up where we left off, but I don’t think this is going to work in his favor. He always says that I’m the one cheating on him, and I’m sorry, but I am very faithful to the men I date. So what is your advice to me? Should I call it quits because he’s already been caught in the act and constantly lies about it or give him another chance? — By Chance to Dream
This is a mess and as a mother, you should be protecting your daughter from getting more attached to someone who is so clearly not boyfriend material for you and will likely cause turbulence if he remains in your and her lives. If you can’t MOA for yourself, do it for your little girl who doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this kind of drama.
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