Friends have pointed out that he’s a drama junkie who withdraws when there’s no high drama going on. And while I love this man, I think I’m finally hitting the point (after three cycles of this crap) where I know I need to make my own plans that may or may not include him. My challenges include progressing MS, a house I doubt we’d be able to sell (and we sure as hell wouldn’t get my inheritance’s worth back out of it), fears of not being able to work full-time and support myself…and, frankly, sitting on my ass and letting him make all the choices — again. I also know that I worked years to support him at jobs I hated; I’m working part-time now and physically can’t handle much more and yet, part of me wants to just yell “grow the hell up” and get it over with. Options? Suggestions? Help? — Losing It All
If you’ve already decided that leaving him is your best option, I’d suggest talking with a divorce attorney right away. An attorney can advise you much better than I can about what steps you can take to ensure a financially secure future for yourself. If, however, you still have a little fight left in your marriage, I’d get yourselves to a marriage counselor right away. Your issues sound too deep for someone like me to address in a simple column or letter. If he’s anti-therapy and “knows it won’t help,” I don’t see what choice you have but to leave the guy. You can’t keep letting him uproot your life like this every few years when he gets an itch for a major change. It’s not fair and it’s not what you signed on for. As difficult as you think your challenges will be in leaving him, it sounds like they’ll be even greater if you stay with him.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at email@example.com and be sure to follow me on Twitter.