The reason I quit is because I made the mistake of dating a coworker in the last year that I worked there, and things didn’t end well with us at all. Basically, my ex cheated on me and left me for another coworker, and it split up quite a few friendships that I had with people there (I hear they’re now living together). I’ve tried to get over my hurt, but I know that I’m not ready to face them again – not just my ex and his girlfriend, but a few former friends/coworkers that also hurt me at the time. Since they all still work at the restaurant, I’m 90% positive that at least his girlfriend and a few other former friends will be in attendance at the baby shower. I used to have issues with panic attacks, and the thought of seeing them again makes me feel very anxious and I’m worried about how I’ll react if and when I do see her. Several friends are trying to encourage me to go, saying that they’ll be with me the entire time and will keep her far away from me, but I’m worried that that may just not be enough.
So what do you think: would going and being there for a friend and seeing many close friends be worth the risk? Or should I send her my best wishes through a card and give her a gift some other time? — Baby Shower Dilemma
So, let me get this straight: you want to go to this baby shower, “if for no other reason than to see your old friends and coworkers”? Uh, no. That should not be your main reason to going to a baby shower, especially considering such an event is a totally inappropriate time to stir up your own drama and make things all about you. You know what one’s main reason for going to a baby shower should be? Supporting the mom-to-be and celebrating the baby she’s carrying, not using the opportunity as an excuse to catch up with old friends. I mean, seriously.
You wanna see you former co-workers without the anxiety of running into the ones you don’t want to see? Here’s a thought: plan a get-together with them. Call them up, text them, email them, Facebook them or however else you keep in touch with these people and see what everyone’s up to, say, next Saturday night and if they’d like to get together for dinner or drinks or bowling or a picnic in the park. It’s not that hard. Leave your drama out of your friend’s baby shower and send a small gift and your regrets. The mom-to-be will thank you.