Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Thank You

As I’ve been mentioning, today is the first birthday of DearWendy.com. This is a big deal for me because I didn’t know if this site would ever happen, let alone be successful enough in its first year to keep it going (and hopefully going and going). I have to give my old personal blog, CityWendy, a shout-out because even though it’s on hiatus right now, if it weren’t for that site, this one would not exist. Did you know there was some dispute over who owned the name “Dear Wendy”? Well, there was. But years ago — like, back in 2005 or 2006 — I used to post letters from readers on CityWendy and write advice, a series I called “Dear Wendy.” Those few letters enabled me to trademark the name and launch this site last year with minimal drama. So, to all of you plugging away on your hobbies wondering what good they’ll ever do besides give you some personal enjoyment and satisfaction, you never know — they may save you from getting sued one day!

Anyway, I also have to give you guys a shout-out because you’re the real reason this site has made it to its first birthday. Thank you for spending part of your day here. Thank you for your comments, your letters, and your words of encouragement. I always hoped this site would turn into a community where people would feel like they could get thoughtful advice not just from me but from other readers as well. There were some dark days in my 20s I would have loved to have had a community like this to give me some perspective and remind me that “this too shall pass.” There’s something about hearing from people who have traveled a similar course, saying: “I’ve been there. It sucked. But I survived and you will too.” I’m glad we can be that voice for each other.

So, thanks. You guys rock.

85 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 10:36 am

    Thank YOU, Wendy! I feel over this past year I’ve really improved myself thanks to reading all the letters, your responses, and the comments. So thanks! And by “thank you for spending part of your day here,” you really mean spending ALL day here and sabotaging your careers, right?

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    • avatar

      honeybeenicki January 24, 2012, 12:59 pm

      I’m pretty sure thats what she meant (@ your last sentence)

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 2:10 pm

        Hey you guyyyys, remember back when DW didn’t even have forum boards? How did we manage then?

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow January 24, 2012, 5:49 pm

      Dude, me too! I also feel like I’ve learned a lot from this site and my relationship is doing well in large part because of what I’ve learned here. Thanks, Wendy!!

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  • Lianne

    Lianne January 24, 2012, 10:41 am

    Wendy – YOU rock! I love your site and am so grateful for it – day in and day out 🙂 I am not a big commenter, but I read most comments faithfully and love the sense of community here.

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  • Lianne

    Lianne January 24, 2012, 10:42 am

    Oh – and Congratulations!!! Happy birthday, Dear Wendy!

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  • bagge72

    bagge72 January 24, 2012, 10:46 am

    Happy Birthday!!!! Who wants to do shots tonight?

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    • avatar

      Trixy Minx January 24, 2012, 11:50 am

      I do!

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    Ktfran January 24, 2012, 11:00 am

    Congratulations Wendy!

    This site helps me put my life in perspective and I love reading the comments. Also, you’re pretty great at giving advice.

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  • avatar

    ReginaRey January 24, 2012, 11:01 am

    Seriously, thanks for creating this site, Wendy! It’s been my little escape every single day. I can’t tell you how much MORE my job would suck without letters to read and respond to every day, and without the conversations I have with the rest of the community here. And personally, being a guest columnist on DW gave me some added credibility when pursuing getting published on other sites. You should be very, very proud of all the good you’ve done over the past year.

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  • call-me-hobo

    call-me-hobo January 24, 2012, 11:09 am

    Wendy, I’m so happy you you created this site! It’s literally my default website to go to, and honestly, I’ve never been a part of a web community that I a) feel definitely a part of and heard 2) had such a genuine connection between commenters.

    I love DW, and I love the sense of community you’ve built up. I hope the site has many more birthdays!

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 11:28 am

      Hey you – any update re: the topic we discussed on the weekend thread??

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo January 24, 2012, 12:31 pm

        Well, Sunday I talked to him about what I saw on his phone.

        He said that he had heard some guys at work talking about the site and was curious, so he went to check it out. He says that he is not a member of the site.

        I told him that I would give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he isn’t actively searching for an affair, but I was unhappy, given our family history, that he thought it was ok to check out that kind of website “on a whim”.

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      • avatar

        rachel January 24, 2012, 12:40 pm

        Thanks for the update. I think you handled that well, and hopefully he was telling the truth.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 1:49 pm

        Sounds like you handled it well, and maturely. I would’ve flicked him in the nose and yelled, “dude, that’s sick; cut it out.”

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo January 24, 2012, 1:55 pm

        Well, I rolled up a newspaper and whacked him- then I rubbed his nose on his phone, so I don’t think we’ll have any more problems

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 2:03 pm

        Good girl.

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    • avatar

      Rangerchic January 24, 2012, 11:49 am

      Could not have said it better my self!!! Totally agree 🙂

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  • avatar

    amber January 24, 2012, 11:11 am

    Thank YOU Wendy. I enjoy reading all of the letters along with your advice and more importantly the community you have built. I hope to be reading DW letters for many years to come!

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  • avatar

    kittyk January 24, 2012, 11:17 am

    Happy Birthday! 🙂

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  • avatar

    LennyBee January 24, 2012, 11:24 am

    Happy Birthday Dear Wendy! I don’t comment much, but this site is my little mini-vacation at work!

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 11:28 am

      I’m loving all the lurkers who are coming out of the closet this week and onto the Forum Boards and here…. So nice to read your comments and take a break from re-reading my own many, many comments over and over. 😉

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      • avatar

        ForeverYoung January 24, 2012, 11:55 am

        I was thinking the same thing! I love that they’re all coming out of the woodwork!

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        LennyBee January 24, 2012, 12:05 pm

        I used to comment semi-regularly, but I’ve gotten burned out at work, and developed a hatred for deep thinking. You kinda have to be willing to think it through before giving advice. So no more advice-giving for me. I’m always so impressed with everyone else’s advice though!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 12:12 pm

        You guys, I feel drunk on Dear Wendy Love. I’m loving everything and everyone!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 24, 2012, 12:27 pm

        Whoa whoa whoa. Who’s the hottie in your new gravatar?!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 1:50 pm

        Why, that’s be your favorite DW commenter, silly! (Me.)

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      • avatar

        silver_dragon_girl January 24, 2012, 2:17 pm

        I saw that you put up a picture. I think some other people changed theirs, too…I am feeling all this pressure to put up a picture of myself!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 2:20 pm

        Do it, do it.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow January 24, 2012, 5:50 pm

        I did it. I feel nekkid.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 5:51 pm

        Well are you naked? That would explain things. 🙂 I love your pic!

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      • avatar

        ForeverYoung January 24, 2012, 5:02 pm

        Guys – breaking news – I am officially going to have to block dearwendy from my laptop. I will see you all March 1st (unless of course I cheat and use my husband’s computer). I am too obsessed with checking and I really need to buckle down. So I will miss you all, and I’ll be back soon!!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 5:05 pm

        That’s some stinky bullshit. Please don’t go. Why so long? When is the Feb. bar? (You’re taking it, right?) You know what? I have taken three bars. THREE OF THEM. (Three different states. I am crazy.) And you know what? I never ONCE blocked dearwendy. …

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      • avatar

        ForeverYoung January 24, 2012, 6:20 pm

        See this is the problem… Ive already cheated!! (stupid iPhone dear-wendying). It’s February 28th and 29th. Who takes 3 bars? I have already decided if I fail that is gods way of telling me I need to take my life down a different path. It’s not personal… I also blocked Facebook, people.com, usmagazine, and bravotv blogs. Who am I kidding I will probably unblock in like a week…. But you cant peer pressure me, I will crack every time!!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 6:28 pm

        You will not fail. You can do it! And I think you need to keep checking dearwendy so I can reassure you of that…

        I had to take 3 bars because when I first started practicing, I lived in a city that boardered two states; so they wanted me licensed in both. (In that case, for the 2nd state which I took 6 months after the 1st state, I just had to take the essay portion; they accepted my multiple choice test score from 6 months prior.) But then I upped and moved to Chicago. I was 3 years out (ie, too far out to have my multiple choice test score count but not far enough out for reciprocity to kick in.) Hence, had to take the whole Illinois bar (essay + MC). It was a bitch. They all were bitches. I tend to do things THREE times before I learn my lesson: 3 marathons, 3 knee surgeries, 3 bar exams. … I never thought about it like that until now.

        All of this to say: see you on dearwendy tomorrow!

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      • avatar

        ForeverYoung January 24, 2012, 6:59 pm

        Wow that’s intense. I’m the guinea pig for the UBE so hopefully if I do pass I will never have to take it again!

        Also I kinda want to change my username. I made mine up the first day I commented and I was in a rush (probably bc something got me all fired up) and the song forever young was on the radio… But I don’t even like that song that much. I mean its alright… But seems weird to be something as important as my screen name.

        Dear-wendyers…. Would it be weird to change it? Is it too late for that?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 9:26 pm

        Go for it, FY. Maybe you should change it to Currently Youngish.

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      • avatar

        ForeverYoung January 24, 2012, 6:23 pm

        Oh by the way… Random story that made me think of you! So I went on one of those awkward “networking” happy hour dates with this attorney I know that does the type of law I’m interested in… And she told me that one of the partners at her firm that is like 80 and refuses to retire used to represent the mafia!! Am I the only one that kinda always thought the mafia was like made for tv only? Now you’re eating pizza at their restaurants Chicago style… I’m trying to work for their lawyers Denver style…. So weird.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 6:31 pm

        They exist! And they make damn good pizza!

        Arguably, all the Chicago union attorneys work for the mafia. (It’s so fun making scandalous statements when you are anonymous.) Ok, ok, “all”
        used loosely.

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      • Lyra

        L January 24, 2012, 1:26 pm

        I love reading your comments, Addie. It’s kind of funny because I have a particular voice that I have in my head when I read your comments…that’s not creepy is it? It’s monotone and sarcastic and hilarious.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 1:52 pm

        Thank you, that’s sweet! And creepy only because that’s what my voice sounds like – how did you know?!

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  • avatar

    MissDre January 24, 2012, 11:30 am

    Yay Dear Wendy! The best part of my work day!!!

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    Annette January 24, 2012, 11:33 am

    Happy Birthday, Congratulations and THANKS!!!!!!

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  • Just Max

    Just Max January 24, 2012, 11:33 am

    Happy Birthday!
    Although I do not comment often, I have been a fan of Dear Wendy for a very long time (TF!), and visit this site daily since it started a year ago.
    Cheers!

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  • avatar

    Rosie January 24, 2012, 11:36 am

    Yay! Happy Birthday!! I giggled at the party hats. So fun. Love the site MWAH!

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    Trixy Minx January 24, 2012, 11:42 am

    No, Wendy THANK YOU. If it weren’t for me reading your advice back when you were at the frisky I probably would’ve stayed in my emotionally abusive relationship.
    This site hold a special place in my heart. I know that sounds cheesy but its true.

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  • landygirl

    landygirl07 January 24, 2012, 11:47 am

    Happy Birthday!! One year and counting. I’m glad I found you on The Frisky. This is the only advice column I post on and I read lots of advice columns everyday. I guess I just have discerning tastes.

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  • avatar

    LolaBeans January 24, 2012, 11:55 am

    Thank YOU!

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  • avatar

    Eljay January 24, 2012, 12:00 pm

    Happy Birfday Dear Wendy! I haven’t had much time/energy lately to reply, but I’ve been lurking in the shadows every now & again – and I sure do miss you guys! Hearts Wendy!

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  • avatar

    emiree January 24, 2012, 12:22 pm

    Happy birthday !!! Have been reading your articles since the frisky and I look forward to reading the posts and comments every day. I may not comment often, but have enjoyed this site since day one. Thank you for developing such an awesome site and community !!!

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest January 24, 2012, 12:24 pm

    Home with a migraine today 🙁
    But wanted to hop on and wish DW a happy birthday! I echo the sentiments above, this is a great place an has taught me so much. Thank you Wendy! Thank you for getting me through one of the toughest times of my life. You are truly a blessing.

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    rachel January 24, 2012, 12:41 pm

    Happy birthday Dear Wendy! SO glad this site exists.

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    AKchic January 24, 2012, 1:00 pm

    Happy Birthday!

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    honeybeenicki January 24, 2012, 1:01 pm

    Thank you Wendy! I would probably go stir crazy every day at work without this. Then of course there is the little issue of sometimes I mean to come on just for a minute and end up spending 45 minutes reading letters and comments. And now I have the forum, too! Oh boy… hopefully I can load the page on my phone so I can read it while I’m in the unemployment line 🙂

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  • avatar

    MsMisery January 24, 2012, 1:02 pm

    Happy Birthday!!! I love it here 🙂

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  • Heather

    Heather January 24, 2012, 1:15 pm

    Seriously Wendy, happy birthday! It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year since the site launched. I have read your letters for a while, even while you were still on TF, and you even answered one of my letters. This really is a great community and I am with everyone in saying that I feel apart of it, despite disagreements that may arise.

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  • avatar

    Sarah January 24, 2012, 1:18 pm

    Happy Birthday! I love this place so much. Its made a bad day at a lousy job a good day at a ….well, lousy job. I feel like I know everyone so well on this site because of how much we all feel safe to share on here. OMG DEAR WENDY MEETUP.

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    • avatar

      honeybeenicki January 24, 2012, 1:27 pm

      There could be a DW conference 🙂 As long as it was somewhere warm, I’d be happy.

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      • JK

        JK January 24, 2012, 1:28 pm

        You can all come down to Buenos AIres, it´s hot as hell at the moment!

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        honeybeenicki January 24, 2012, 1:49 pm

        Sounds good to me.

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    • katie

      katie January 24, 2012, 9:17 pm

      i think we should have meet-ups in our respective cities if there are enough of us. how awesome would that be? i would do it.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 9:23 pm

        Chicago people – who wants to eat mafia pizza with me? Only try not to say “mafia” when we are there.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed January 24, 2012, 9:34 pm

        I’m down with that! And if I can’t say it, can I think it?

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  • avatar

    *HmC* January 24, 2012, 1:35 pm

    “There’s something about hearing from people who have traveled a similar course, saying: ‘I’ve been there. It sucked. But I survived and you will too.’ ”

    This is so true Wendy, and is a great way to put into words why I like this site so much. Sometimes it’s just incredibly helpful to know that you’re not alone and that whatever feelings you may be having have been felt before.

    So thank you for this site, and thank you to all the readers who contribute their experiences and thoughts!

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  • Jess

    Jess of CityGirlsWorld.com January 24, 2012, 1:48 pm

    Congrats Wendy!

    I have been through the process of building a site so I know the stress firsthand.

    I’ve said it before and I will say it again. The more I visit other sites, the more I am impressed with the DW community and how supportive it is as a group. This is actually a big deal knowing that there are other sites with great content but whose commenters drive me away. It’s a point of real pride for Wendy.

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  • Budj

    Budj January 24, 2012, 1:57 pm

    I also want to add that the day DW left the Frisky was the day I started being more involved / reading the site….a lot….

    “Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”

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  • mandalee

    mandalee January 24, 2012, 2:42 pm

    Happy Birthday and Congratulations!! This site has been my savior and the one time I wrote in and my question was in the Shortcuts, it was a very nice “you’re solution is obvious” lol and it was!! I’m so appreciate of your level-headed, truthful advice. Thanks to some of the advice you’ve given others and advice from the rest of community to others, I’ve learn to cut people out of my life that aren’t worth my time. Basically, I’ve learned to MOA!

    Here’s to many, many more Birthdays 🙂

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  • avatar

    Witchmom3 January 24, 2012, 2:46 pm

    Yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I visit everyday, but don’t ever comment (well maybe just this once). I’m obsessed with this site and love reading the questions and all of the great advice you (Wendy) give as well as all the others (I especially heart Addie Pray). CONGRATS 😀

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    • katie

      katie January 24, 2012, 9:18 pm

      who doesnt heart addie? seriously?

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      Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 9:22 pm

      oh man – i just saw this. i’m so flattered! don’t you know by now NOT to encourage me? ha ha. in celebration of these comments, i’m watching New Girl and sipping red wine in my underwear. there’s a party up in here. oh, i’m alone.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray January 24, 2012, 9:36 pm

      Seriously – is everyone reading Witchmom3’s and katie’s comments? They are my new best friends. Everyone should always read what they have to say.

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        Witchmom3 January 25, 2012, 4:12 pm

        Oh Addie Pray, I think I heart you even more now that I know you too watch New Girl. Schmidt is alls I’m going to say 😀

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        Addie Pray January 25, 2012, 4:14 pm

        i love New Girl! confession: i used to hate Zooey D. but then all my friends commented that i remind them of her in this show, so of course i had to check it out; and now i’m hooked. aww, schmidt….

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray January 25, 2012, 4:16 pm

        or rather, she reminded them of me. you get what i mean. (read: awkward but charming. lol.) and by “all my friends” i mean like 4 of them. still, 4, that’s a lot, no! 😉

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  • Tracey

    Tracey January 24, 2012, 3:02 pm

    Wendy, thank you for your work, your wisdom, your candor, and this wonderful site. It’s been a treat reading your work, and getting to know everyone on the site. All the best to you, keep doing what you do, and here’s to many more years of Dear Wendy!

    Don’t forget to give a skritch on the head to Miles and a big hug to the hubby and Jackson for their help and invaluable input to the site, too.

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    silver_dragon_girl January 24, 2012, 3:12 pm

    No, thank YOU 🙂

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  • avatar

    mcminnem January 24, 2012, 5:05 pm

    Happy Birthday Dear Wendy! 🙂

    Wendy, I started reading your articles right around the time I met my now-boyfriend (the dating site we were on used to link to your articles on TheFrisky), and then I followed you here. I can honestly say that having somewhere to visit and reflect daily on relationships in general, and mine in particular, has made me a better partner. You’re making a difference!

    Much love. Also, I adore Miles in his birthday hat 😛

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  • avatar

    fallonthecity January 24, 2012, 5:49 pm

    Congrats, Wendy! I think you’ve built an awesome community here.

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  • Lili

    Lili January 24, 2012, 6:40 pm

    Congrats! And thanks for providing and facilitating such a supportive group Wendy!

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  • avatar

    Meredith January 24, 2012, 7:10 pm

    Happy birthday!!! I don’t comment too often, but have been reading since day one! Love your site 🙂

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  • katie

    katie January 24, 2012, 9:19 pm

    yay dear wendy’s birthday!! i love this site, and i will read it forever. i love all the people here, and i will admit (only this once) that i feel weird knowing everyone’s names on here because i feel like no one knows who i am. but, thats besides the point. i love it here. i have a dear wendy bestie- who else can say that????

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  • MaterialsGirl

    MaterialsGirl January 24, 2012, 11:14 pm

    Happy Birthday, Dear Wendy! (from a lurker and sometimes commenter 🙂 )

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  • avatar

    Lamia January 25, 2012, 3:36 am

    Omg has it been a year? Wow it seems like only a few months ago, though now that I think about it I do remember the pregnancy announcement and since you’ve had your baby that means its been awhile. :/ My how time flies.

    Well, congrats Wendy. I love your site 🙂

    Oh and how is Miles doing?

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  • avatar

    lumpie January 25, 2012, 3:46 am

    Happy Birthday DW!!! and thank you Wendy for all the care, hard work and thought you put into this site that makes it as fab as it is! 🙂

    Oh and I second that….how’s Miles?

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  • avatar

    bethany January 25, 2012, 2:08 pm

    Happ Birthday DW!

    After I started reading DW on TF I eventually started reading your blog. I read the entire thing, start to finish and really, really enjoyed being able to see where your life was taking you and the things you’d learned along the way. Congrats on everything- I hope you bring your blog back, or at least continue to post about Jackson and your life. I really loved all those posts.

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