Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

The Dos and Don’ts of a New Relationship

This week, I contributed a few tips for a Glamour.com article called “The Dos and Don’ts of New Relationships.” My favorite tip was this:
Remember the 50-30-20 rule.

The 50-30-20 rule is the division of your leisure time: no more than 50 percent with your significant other, 30 percent with friends and family, and 20 percent “me time.” It’s tempting when a relationship is new to spend all your time with your new significant other, but do that and you risk prematurely burning out on the relationship, alienating your friends, and losing a bit of your own identity. Plus, it’s good to keep your new guy wanting more. If things work out, you’ll have plenty of time in the future to spend together. And if they don’t work out? You’ll be glad your best buds have your back.

What are you own dating tips for new relationships?

4 comments… add one
  • avatar

    magichils January 28, 2011, 12:46 pm

    I think not spending the night with someone for at least the first 2/3 weeks is important, even if you justify it by not having sex and just ‘cuddling’. In my experience it makes it sooo much more difficult to think rationally about what you want to happen and if he’s the right person for you, or even if this is a great person but the timing is bad, IF you’ve just spent a lovely night together. This applies ten-fold if you haven’t had sex for a while 🙂

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Laurel January 28, 2011, 1:26 pm

    I’d say DO introduce him/her to your friends, within the first month (or maybe by the first 5 dates?) or so. It’s always good to get friends’ perspectives, and as long as everyone gets along it makes for fun date options when you’re past wanting to just spend every date one on one.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    BeccaAnne January 28, 2011, 3:17 pm

    I think I definitely went overboard with spending time at first and I think it did change things with friends, but they were also doing heir own thing (they all joined sororities that first month I was with the bf) and it changed everyone really. Now I have better friends.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Leslie January 31, 2011, 5:19 pm

    What is the date range for a “new relationship”? I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months now (3 dating and 2 exclusive) and we are still struggling with balancing our time together and apart. We both love spending time together but realize the need for time apart as well. It’s just so easy to slip back into together time, all of the time.

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment