Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

The Longer People Wait to Marry, The Better, Say Experts

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In a recent article posted on Time.com about the effect that shacking up before marriage has on relationships, experts weigh in and suggest that “past studies have overstated the risk of divorce for cohabiting couples.” In a paper in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family, Arielle Kuperberg, assistant professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, says that “the important characteristic is not whether people lived together first, but how old they were when they decided to share a front door.” Kuperberg says: “It turns out that cohabitation doesn’t cause divorce and probably never did. What leads to divorce is when people move in with someone – with or without a marriage license – before they have the maturity and experience to choose compatible partners and to conduct themselves in ways that can sustain a long-term relationship.” So, what’s the magic age when people are able to choose appropriate partners and behave maturely in relationships? According to Kuperberg, it’s 23. “It is unwise,” she says, “to either move in or get married before the age of 23.”

But other family experts say that even 23 isn’t old enough to sustain healthy, long-term relationships: “Economist Evelyn Lehrer (University of Illinois-Chicago) says the longer people wait past 23, the more likely a marriage is to stick. In fact, Lehrer’s analysis of longitudinal data shows that for every year a woman waits to get married, right up until her early 30s, she reduces her chances of divorce.”

As a personal anecdote, I moved in with a boyfriend when I was 24. I moved in with him not because I wanted to marry him and cohabitating was a first step in that direction. I moved in with him because it was convenient and cost-effective — probably the same reason a lot of young couples move in together. Needless to say, that relationship did not last. He was a really sweet guy, and I learned a lot during the three years we lived together — especially about what my needs were in a partner. Several years later I met Drew, and I moved in with him when I was 31 and married him when I was 32.

If Lehrer is right, waiting until 32 to get married, when I was mature enough to choose a more appropriate partner, rather than getting married to my first live-in boyfriend when I was 24, greatly reduced my chances of divorce. Time will have to tell, of course, but I would have to say I whole-heartedly agree with the hypothesis, and not just because my own personal history supports it (so far), but because the relationships I see around me — my friends’ and people I know and those of advice-seekers who write to me — also support it. With some exceptions, couples who move in together, with or without a marriage license, before their mid-20s, seem to have rockier relationships than those who wait a few years longer. The upside is that breakups and divorces don’t kill you and you often learn a lot from those “starter marriages” that will come in handy the next time you move in with someone.

[article and image via Time.com]

63 comments… add one
  • avatar

    bethany March 19, 2014, 2:27 pm

    I’d tend to agree with this generally. Obviously there are plenty of people who marrying young is working out for, but if we’re going to talk generalizations, yeah, I agree. Personally, I think I am friends with 4 people who are divorced. They all were divorced by 32 and married probably by 25.
    *
    If I had married either of my main college boyfriends it wouldn’t have worked. I think if I’d met Dave even a year before I did, I don’t think it would have worked out. I wasn’t nearly mature enough.
    *
    If I ever have children who want to get married, I certainly would urge them to wait until they were a little older to do so, but again, everyone is different, so anything can happen, really.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle March 19, 2014, 2:39 pm

    Well, this is good news for me since I’m gonna be 27 soon & my boyfriend will be 30 just as soon, & we’re not living together or getting married soon…? Although we’ve been dating for 4 years, & this stood out: “…other family experts say that even 23 isn’t old enough to sustain healthy, long-term relationships”

    I will say that I agree with that quote though, for my own personal life. Like, I started dating Fabello at 22, but I was very unsettled (in mind, emotions, desires…) at that age & probably could have used a few more single years.

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  • katie

    katie March 19, 2014, 2:47 pm

    interesting. i think i was 22 when jake and i moved in together- but turned 23 like 6 months later so im good, i think.. lol

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  • LlamaPajamas

    LlamaPajamas March 19, 2014, 3:09 pm

    Interesting. I’m 33 and Mr. LP is 38 and we’re moving in together in May and getting married in October. This will be the first time either of us has lived with an SO and we joke a lot that we’re almost too old and set in our ways to start now. I wonder if there’s an upper limit where research shows that if you haven’t married/cohabitated by then it’s just too late for it to work well? Not that it could *never* work after a certain age (just like some couples who marry young do really well), I’m just curious if there’s a sweet spot where people are generally best suited to settle down.

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    • avatar

      Lindsay March 19, 2014, 3:12 pm

      My stepmom was in her 40s when she married my dad. I think she had lived with a partner for a couple of years prior, but it was not super recent to when she met my dad. She definitely likes her personal space, and sometimes attributes that to living alone (in a house she had bought, decorated, etc.) for so long, but generally grew accustomed to it.

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary March 19, 2014, 3:18 pm

      I actually do think people can get “set in their ways” and have trouble adjusting to living with another person and having to accomodate someone else in their daily life. Like they can’t just do what they want to do when they want to do it, and that can be kind of hard. But as always, depends on the person.

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      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas March 19, 2014, 3:29 pm

        Lindsay, I’m glad it worked out for your stepmom! I’ve always enjoyed doing things alone and wasn’t particularly interested in ever getting married before I met Mr. LP. I can’t imagine life without him now, but, like Kerry says, it was a bit of an adjustment for both of us to learn how to accommodate each other in our daily lives. We’re both aware of it and talk about it a lot so it’s not something I’m worried about. It’s just that permanently linking your life to someone is such a curious thing at any age, really.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 20, 2014, 7:25 am

        Kerry, I think that’s true… I lived on my own for 10 years before moving in with my (2nd) husband, and I definitely liked things the way I liked them, very clean and very routine, you know? And I’d say there was a 6-month adjustment period after we moved in, where it took me that long to be able to regularly sleep well sharing a bed with someone. The dog didn’t help with that! And he always has the TV on for background noise, while I never watch any TV.

        BUT, for me, the key to making it feasible was that we have very similar habits and both like a clean house and both like to go to bed early. Little things like, he just throws everything in the dishwasher willy-nilly and runs it daily whether it’s full or not, oh well, I’m not going to say anything, he’s doing the dishes! I just reorganize the thing sometimes when he’s not looking. Other than that, I mean, he does a LOT of cleaning and housework and errands, and in nice weather he grills on the balcony for dinner. After the initial minor adjustment, it’s great and very harmonious. If we were very different in terms of home-life habits though, I think it would suck.

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    • avatar

      Christy March 19, 2014, 3:23 pm

      My boss was around 45 when she married her husband. They didn’t live together before marriage because they both had houses. She was very clear with him: basically, it was her way or bust. Example: she was going to live in her house in Southern MD. Her husband could live with her or in his house in VA, but SHE was going to live in her house in Southern MD. Another example: her dogs were going to sleep in the bed with her, and her husband could join them or not.

      So they love each other, and have a very happy marriage, but she is definitely in charge of things like that. (He was previously married so he doesn’t have the same hangups.)

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary March 19, 2014, 3:28 pm

        My fiance’s grandfather got married again (widower), and his new wife refused to move after they got married! (she didn’t explain this before the marriage). They eventually got an annulment cause she wouldn’t move in with him!

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      • avatar

        snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 3:37 pm

        @Christy, Sounds like your boss considers her husband to be one of the dogs.

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      • avatar

        Christy March 19, 2014, 3:55 pm

        She’s just very confident in her ability to be happy as a single woman, and she didn’t want to compromise on many things. So she knew if it didn’t work out with her husband, she could just go back to being happily single.

        She’s not a ball-buster or anything, it just sounds that way.

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      • avatar

        snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 4:02 pm

        I don’t know. If you aren’t willing to compromise on major issues that affect both parties, then you probably shouldn’t get married. We should all be good at being single, or at least be complete and content as individuals, but that should give anyone FU rights.

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      • avatar

        snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 4:07 pm

        Shouldn’t

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 19, 2014, 4:07 pm

        But if he is okay with the not compromising…then why not? If she said “it’s non-negotiable that the dogs sleep in bed, take it or leave it” and he said “okay” IDk why that should prevent them from getting married? He’s accepting it.

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      • theattack

        theattack March 19, 2014, 4:09 pm

        I agree with that upfront. There’s nothing wrong with saying what she’s doing and giving him the choice of whether to participate. But in the long run, I don’t think that’s a sustainable way to be married. Things change, and as they change, you can’t just use your preferences as hundreds of tiny little ultimatum bread crumbs to either follow or not follow.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 19, 2014, 4:22 pm

        Yeah, I def agree about once you’re in the relationship there needs to be more compromise. But I don’t see any problem with before getting married laying out your non-negotiables.

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      • katie

        katie March 19, 2014, 4:06 pm

        i actually think that is a pretty epic way to go around a relationship anyway. like, sticking to your guns, and your loves and your not-loves and not compromising on those things important to you- and then just laying that on the table and letting your partner pick what he would like to do as well. no forcing, no coercion, just “i am going to do this, and if you want to you can, or if you dont want, you dont have to”

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      • avatar

        snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 5:17 pm

        TA pretty much summed up my thoughts, but clearly laying out your deal breakers before you get married is great. In fact, implicit to the concept of a deal-breaker is that we do lay these out and essentially give our partner and take-it or leave-it ultimatum. The problem becomes when the deal breakers are relatively minor issues like the dogs sleeping in the bed. I know people love their dogs, but if this is truly a deal breaker, she is saying she loves her dogs more than her human partner. Not a viable long term situation.

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      • katie

        katie March 19, 2014, 5:29 pm

        well, i think that establishing that her dogs are a very important thing in her life is actually a very needed thing, especially long term. it isnt *just* saying, hey the dogs are sharing the bed, end of story- its deeper then that. its saying, my dogs are a huge part of my life, they even share my bed, and you have to be ok with that. this means that she will spend money on her dogs, treat their illnesses when others would put them down, spend a lot of time with them, plan vacations around them, plan daily life around them, perhaps volunteer with dog organizations, ect. its her saying, this is my lifestyle, take it or leave it. i would do the same if i were dating and it got the exclusive point or the moving in point or the serious point or whatever point you get where its cool to tell the other person these things. i can think of like 5 things off the top of my head just now that i would have to tell someone- 1. cats are a huge part of my life, both my own and volunteer work, 2. i travel a lot for work, 3. if ordered around i will rebel just for the sake of rebelling, 4. i refuse to eat fast food and 5. … im stumped on 5, but there is 4 for you. now, sure, you might say that me refusing to ever eat fast food would be me putting my food above my partner, but… thats my lifestyle. and if someone didnt align with that we wouldnt be right for each other

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      • avatar

        snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 5:38 pm

        I didn’t mean the dog example so literally. It is more to the point of being reasonable and flexible for someone you love. I can understand never wanting to eat fast food, but would you sit with your loved one every once in a while so he could enjoy an In-n-Out burger? In the course of a long marriage life will throw a lot of shit your way. You will inevitably find you will need to compromise on things you never thought you would and hopefully you’ll be okay with it because it is for the greater good.

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      • theattack

        theattack March 19, 2014, 5:43 pm

        Exactly, marc. Things change, and new issues come up. I think if you want your relationship to last, you have to care about their needs and be flexible. You can’t take a hard stance on everything. If you take a hard stance on the dogs in the bed, then maybe you should be okay with ordering pizza once a month. You just can’t have a Take It Or Leave It attitude on so many things and expect that to work. And you know what, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was so willing to lose me over so many things. At some point, I want to be more important than these small details.

        At the same time, I do see what katie is saying. I just think this goes deeper than “I’m going to the store, and you can come if you want or stay home if you don’t.”

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      • katie

        katie March 19, 2014, 5:45 pm

        oh yea, i definitely agree with that. and yes, i would sit with my boyfriend and eat fast food- i have. and i would hope that, say, if the dog in the bed lady’s manfriend was sick and couldnt deal with the dogs being in the bed for whatever reason, she would do something different to accommodate him.

        i would never expect 100% adherence to something like that, or even the stuff i listed about myself -i mean life is never 100%- but those things are good to get out upfront and let someone know, and then like i said i like the non-demanding piece of specifically doing it in that way. saying “my dogs sleep with me, take it or leave it” instead of saying “my dogs sleep with me *and so will you*, take it or leave it”.

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      • katie

        katie March 19, 2014, 5:35 pm

        oh, but, the actual thing i love about that type of relationship- the “im this/doing this, you can do this with me or not” is that it doesnt require conformity from the other partner. its just a choice. so, with the dog thing, large scale, the guy could say, actually i dont want to sleep with the dogs, lets get me my own bed, ill have my own room in your house. everyone wins. small scale, maybe something like “this saturday im going shopping. you can come if you want or not, but im going”. i like that.

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      • avatar

        snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 5:44 pm

        katie, I’m sure you already know this, but you are going to have to marry someone who is very like-minded. My wife and I do a lot of things together, maybe to the point of codependence, so your relationship style wouldn’t work for us. But I have seen very independent people lead very independent lives and have very happy marriages.

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      • katie

        katie March 19, 2014, 5:48 pm

        ha, yea, jake and i are both really independent, i guess. like we regularly will go the work week without talking if i am working. last night he called me at dinner, i called back when i was at the hotel, and he told me one thing and then was like “ok, well, thats it, im gonna go make dinner. bye!” it works for us. but then on the flip side we do a lot of stuff together/have a lot to talk about around food, so its a weird mixed bag i guess. i honestly wouldnt label us as independent, but … we are.

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    • mylaray

      mylaray March 19, 2014, 3:32 pm

      I wonder if there is an upper limit too. I could imagine myself being difficult or set in my ways if I waited until I was 40. But that’s me.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle March 19, 2014, 3:42 pm

      My brother & his girlfriend (now wife) moved in when he was 32 (& she must have been like 29?) They seem to be doing well, & navigated everything nicely together. (Survey of one, but just some reassurance 🙂 )

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    • avatar

      MsMisery March 20, 2014, 1:30 pm

      I was wondering that, too. I’m 31 and have never lived with anyone besides family or alone. I have no idea how to even find a room mate or screen them because the list of things I cannot tolerate is a mile long, and I’m probably just as annoying because of that to someone else.

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  • avatar

    kerrycontrary March 19, 2014, 3:22 pm

    I also tend to agree generally, but of course there are plenty of people who marry young and it works out just fine. The quality of a marriage depends on the quality (and the maturity) of the two people in it. I’m going to be 27 when I get married and I feel good about it. We’re both more settled in our jobs/careers, we’re a LOT more financially secure than we were at 22/23, and we’re closer to being ready to start a family (in the next 3-5 years that is…). Our relationship was never dramatic or immature, but it would’ve been hard to be married when we were younger cause our careers had us in different places geographically.

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  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark March 19, 2014, 3:22 pm

    Gee, I wonder… who else has been saying this forever?

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  • mylaray

    mylaray March 19, 2014, 3:28 pm

    Generally, I agree with the results (because I do think there is truth to it), but I don’t agree with the emphasis on age alone. I know they talk about ages in relation to maturity, but it’s all so generalized. My parents got married in their 40s and though they dated a long time, it was more of a “if we don’t marry, we’ll never find someone/have kids.” They also wanted to marry within their culture, so that’s another reason they did it. They’re legally still together, but they’ve hated each other as long as I can remember. And sure, that’s just one example and not indicative of anything.
    .
    I moved in with a boyfriend when I was 16 briefly, more so I could get away than actually wanting to live together. It was a disaster of course. But I think because I did a lot of things younger than my peers (some good, some not good at all), it ended up being a good thing in that it made me more ready and capable at an earlier age. So when I was 23 and moving in with my husband after ~3 years, it didn’t feel like we rushed or weren’t ready (he’s also 5 years older). I obviously haven’t been married long enough to know whether we’ll last, but I do feel confident in what we did.

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl March 19, 2014, 3:29 pm

    “maturity and experience to choose compatible partners and to conduct themselves in ways that can sustain a long-term relationship.” I thought this part was interesting. GGuy and I started dating when we where both 22. We didn’t get married until 27/28, but I do think we where able to choose good partners at that young age. We did decide to date for 4+ years before getting engaged, so maybe that’s our difference?

    All of these studies don’t really prove much to me other than that you’re lucky if you find a life partner.

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary March 19, 2014, 3:32 pm

      Yeh I chose my fiance at 21 almost 22, and I feel like I was able to choose a good partner at that age. I had had a serious relationship and lots of not-so-serious relationships by that point. I knew what I was looking for. We’ve changed and grown together since then, but a lot of things have stayed the same: he’s still responsible, ambitious, wants a family, etc….

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 19, 2014, 3:45 pm

        I agree. Even if we had gotten married shortly after we started dating (which would have put me at 23) I think we would have been successful.

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    • Miel

      Miel March 19, 2014, 3:45 pm

      I think the nuance is that you could meet your future husband at 15, but only get married at 23, and that would be better than meeting at 15 and getting married the day of your 18th birthday. A lot of times, teenagers will “fall in love” because “he has awesome blue eyes” or “he has a car”. But of course, that’s not enough to sustain a marriage. The thing is, they might start dating because “she’s so cool” but then realize as the years pass by that they are actually really compatible on their values, dreams and what they want out of life. And they are able to recognize that in their 20s, and then decide to get married based on those commons values, not based on whatever teenage fantasy that originally got them to date each other.

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      • katie

        katie March 19, 2014, 4:00 pm

        and even more then this, i think that the bigger point is that while people can suck at finding the right, or “correct” partner for them, ie. loving someone for their eyes or bank account or whatever, they can also suck just as much at even knowing what they want and/or need in the first place. like, even if the perfect guy came your way, if you arent self aware enough to know what you want out of life (ie, kids or no kids, what lifestyle, where you want to live, what you love to do, what you hate, ect), itll turn out shitty too. that fact alone makes me believe this whole thing, because there are way, *way* more people who figure out their own life later then there are that do it in their late teens and early twenties.

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    • theattack

      theattack March 19, 2014, 3:49 pm

      Definitely agree about being lucky to find a life partner. Obviously I think age and maturity make a difference, but you also can’t help when you find the love of your life. When P and I started dating (I was 21, he was 24), I could have used some time doing random dudes, sure, but I also knew that he was the one for me, and I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime for a few random hook ups I didn’t really care about. I made the decision to go ahead and grow up because the opportunity cost of not doing so was entirely too high. I never thought I would settle down with the person I was dating at that age, but sometimes you just know.

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      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas March 19, 2014, 3:58 pm

        The general consensus seems to be that age and experience/maturity are two different things, and I totally agree. My college boyfriend wanted to get married after I graduated – I would have been 21 and that would have been a disaster because we were both too young and inexperienced. But I didn’t have much more experience with relationships after we broke up until my late 20s, so it’s not like waiting a few extra years would have helped me. I was never immature, it was just more of a confidence issue since I wasn’t allowed anywhere near boys when I was younger (very strict parents). I don’t think my being ready for marriage now has much to do with my age, but rather with having more life experience and practice with dating. And I was just really, really lucky to find a guy who’s so right for me.

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      • theattack

        theattack March 19, 2014, 4:03 pm

        I love your last two sentences so much. It makes a lot of sense that just adding years of experience with the same guy wouldn’t change much without a foundation of prior experience first. How long have you been with your bf/fiance/husband?
        .
        I really crammed in the dating experience at a young age, so I certainly never gave up practice in the dating world to be with him. I did give up living alone as a self-sufficient adult, but that really doesn’t seem important to me anyway.

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      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas March 19, 2014, 8:57 pm

        We’ve been together a little over a year and I proposed after just 6 months because, as I’ve said previously on this site, he’s a great guy and I had to lock that shit down. We’ve both been single for most of our lives but compromise has been pretty easy since we have the same goals and values and genuinely enjoy making each other happy (gag). But we just spent the whole evening disagreeing on where to go on our mini honeymoon so there’s a chance we’ll just call the whole wedding thing off. I’m kidding…

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    • avatar

      snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 3:55 pm

      gg: For me studies and statistics like these give me a more solid foundation for my beliefs. In this case this studies gives me confidence to strongly state that a marriage is more likely to stick if the couple is at least in their mid 20s. It is irrelevant to my marriage but I will certainly plant that seed of an idea many times with my kids especially when they start dating. Now they my think that Dad doesn’t know shit, but they might also hear this same message reinforced through other avenues, so I think these types of studies are very worthwhile.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 19, 2014, 3:58 pm

        I don’t think they aren’t worth while, but I also don’t think it’s mapping out the way to find the perfect mate. You (general) can follow all the “rules” and stats and frankly still end up marrying an ape shit crazy person. Will I encourage my siblings (both under 21) and hypothetical children to wait until 23 or 25+ to get married, most likely. But there isn’t any formula you can follow to find your “true love” or what ever. I guess that’s what I mean.

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      • avatar

        snarkymarc March 19, 2014, 4:05 pm

        If you found that formula you’d be awfully rich.

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  • avatar

    HmC March 19, 2014, 4:00 pm

    God I was an idiot when I was 23.

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    • rainbow

      rainbow March 19, 2014, 4:22 pm

      Me too.

      Well, I’m still an idiot, but at least now I’m in rehab.

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    • avatar

      bethany March 19, 2014, 4:36 pm

      Frankly, I’m still an idiot pretty often, and I’m 32… But I was a HUGE idiot when I was 23 🙂

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      • avatar

        No Pants March 19, 2014, 4:45 pm

        I was still an idiot at 27 and 28 😀

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      • Portia

        Portia March 19, 2014, 4:57 pm

        I think that instead of getting more mature over time, we just become less of an idiot… I’d say I make less idiotic decisions at 27 than I did at 23, but I still screw up royally on occasion.

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      • avatar

        No Pants March 20, 2014, 9:37 am

        I completely agree.

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    • avatar

      camille905 March 19, 2014, 4:46 pm

      Me too!

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  • avatar

    camille905 March 19, 2014, 4:04 pm

    My now husband and I moved in together when I was 28 and he was 30. He had lived with a significant other before and I hadn’t. I had lived alone most of my adult life so if I was going to move in with someone, it was with the understanding that we would be getting engaged and married within a year or two. We got married when we were 29 and 31 and so far it’s worked out well :). Of course, I never even considered marriage with any previous partners so there’s that/
    While I knew what I wanted in a relationship before I met my husband, we both agree that if we had met even a year earlier, it probably wouldn’t have worked out between us because neither of us was quite ready.

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  • avatar

    Bossy Italian Wife March 19, 2014, 4:13 pm

    I was 18 when my husband and I moved in together (he was 24). I was 24 when we married and he was 30. So in this regard, I guess I could go either way on this study! Haha.

    But personally, I agree that it’s best to wait. We’ve been intensely committed to making our relationship work and boy has it taken some “coming to Jesus meetings.” I would say that as we both age, we get calmer, more mature and all that jazz. So I see it.

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  • rainbow

    rainbow March 19, 2014, 4:20 pm

    Sounds reasonable. I guess people sometimes get upset and begin to justify themselves when this sort of article comes up because they read it as “you and the rest of the 20-year-olds are worse at relationships than all the 30-year-olds and know nothing and will FAIL FAIL FAIL” instead of looking at it like “you at 20 are worse at relationships than you at 30 because you will actually live and learn in those 10 years”. Put like that it’s not offensive at all. It’s like saying “a group of people who studies 20 hours each for a test will do on average worse than the same group if they had all studied 30”. Well, of course! It doesn’t mean that you will fail if you study 20, some people will still make it. It’s just an average.

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson March 19, 2014, 4:31 pm

    Am I the only one that is totally bored by these studies? I used to find this type of sociology fascinating but now I’m like “It’s a crapshoot!” Good luck! People always want to make it about them like, “Well I met my S/O at this age except we got to add two years because I skipped 3rd grade so that gave me two years of maturity and then he had to subtract a year because he had too many concussions during football and then also we were both born in odd years which everyone knows makes us unique and we also dated for 2.67 years which is exactly what you’re supposed to do and then TADA. We win! We’re safe and all you other suckers are screwed.”

    I mean the raw data is kind of interesting, lets be honest everyone likes trends and statistics at least a little bit, I just hate it when people then put the data and apply it to their lives to justify their decisions. In the words of some really annoying rapper, just do you, you know? Like everyone makes the best decisions for themselves they can based on the information they have. Some people get married “too young” and end up lucky and in love decades later, some people marry later and stay unhappily together for their whole lives because they’re stubborn and there’s about another 20 possible outcomes all along that spectrum.

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    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl March 19, 2014, 4:35 pm

      Yes. I am totally with you.

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      • rainbow

        rainbow March 19, 2014, 4:37 pm

        Me too. I want to like this, where are the thumbs?

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    • theattack

      theattack March 19, 2014, 4:37 pm

      hahaha, I agree. Except that I hate when people take that data and then tell other people what they should do or shouldn’t have done based on it. And I guess that irritates me because I’m on the side of it that looks like I made a dumb decision. Either way, I know people of all ages who are all over the place and will probably never have happy, functional relationships, and I know people of all ages who will make themselves happy no matter what they do. So whatever.

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    • katie

      katie March 19, 2014, 4:40 pm

      lol, sampson, i know that we dont have thumbs right now, but if you didnt like my comment you could have just said so! geez!! haha

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson March 19, 2014, 5:39 pm

        Haha sorry I actually didn’t even read any of the comments. And my comment was even a little confusing. I don’t have a problem that studies like this are conducted, I have a problem that people use the statistics to justify their behavior or shame others’ behaviors.

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    • lemongrass

      lemongrass March 19, 2014, 4:59 pm

      I’M AN EXCEPTION. PRAISE ME FOR IT, DAMMIT!”

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      • Portia

        Portia March 19, 2014, 5:01 pm

        Ha! ::thumbs up::

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  • Portia

    Portia March 19, 2014, 4:50 pm

    Man, I’m so glad when science agrees with me… Next time a family member says I should get married soon, I’m totally sending them this article. It’s science!

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