Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

The Morning After: WTF

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I don’t even know what to say this morning. How do we go on, business as usual? It was all I could do to get Jackson to school without crying. He goes to a very diverse school — economically and racially — full of Muslim children and black children and Latino kids and white kids and Jewish children and Christian kids and… girls. Girls who will not be spared our country’s deep, deep hatred for women. Hate prevails. Hate and bigotry and misogyny and xenophobia and rape culture and everything I hoped to spare my children from knowing as closely as my generation has known. I’m sick. I’m heartbroken.

I haven’t been shy about my feelings for Hillary. I don’t love her, and I certainly wasn’t excited about having womanizing Bill back in the White House. I think the democrats screwed Bernie every chance they got, and I was absolutely gutted when he lost the nomination — when I was disenfranchised and couldn’t vote for him in the primaries. I felt gutted. But I pulled it together and supported the only logical choice left, even though I had reservations about her. Between her and Trump, she was still clearly the better choice. It should not have even been close. But here we are. God, I’m so disgusted. In our political system, in our education system that produces such bigoted morons, and in the people I know who aren’t stupid and yet still voted for Trump because they couldn’t stomach voting for a woman. Shame. Now what?

136 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Amber November 9, 2016, 9:27 am

    I honestly didn’t realize how many of my friends were Trump supporters until it was acknowledged that he won. All I can do is shake my head right now and wait. As a part of the LGBTQIA community (and a part of the non-Christian community), I’m very worried how the next few years will progress.

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  • avatar

    gym5ive November 9, 2016, 9:33 am

    Last night was horrific. Trump stands against everything I value, and it was a devastating realization that there are Americans who not only don’t feel that way but also agree with him. I woke up this morning feeling like I was living in a completely different country. Everyone in NYC walking the streets looks like there’s been a death in the family, and I feel the same way.

    That said, this Cracked article of all things (apologies if it’s been shared already) was illuminating: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-trumps-rise-that-no-one-talks-about/. I’m not sure if there’s anything to do but think hard about who these Trump supporters are and how to reach them.

    The truly worrisome thing is the people who seemed to vote Trump into office – rural, white, working-class voters – are the ones who will be the worst off from his presidency. Taxes will probably be cut for the wealthy, Obamacare will be probably be repealed, and manufacturing jobs aren’t going to come back in the way they used to exist. And who will Trump blame when that happens? Muslims? Jewish people? Immigrants?

    And if not, it’s terrifying how how easily manipulated he could be by foreign leaders (and already has been) and how he’ll view the nuclear arsenal as a gleeful retort to the slightest whiff of criticism.

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    • avatar

      Ginger November 9, 2016, 9:39 am

      It’s not just in the states. This morning in Toronto the subway was silent, offices are quiet. The whole world seems to have gone mad.

      When you’d rather have an admitted sexual abuser than a person with a vagina, it says a lot about the culture of America.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom November 9, 2016, 12:03 pm

        I think the average Trump voter didn’t see any difference between having a womanizing Bill back in the White House and a womanizing Trump in the White House. They considered it to all be the same so irrelevant. I personally think Bill only had sex with consenting adults while Trump crossed lines constantly in a manner that is legally sexual assault but they don’t see what Trump did as sexual assault.

        I think that for the great majority of them they were voting against Hillary because she is a Clinton not because she is a woman. They hated Bill and as his spouse they hated her.

        They were voting for jobs and they loved the lack of political correctness because they want to be openly racist and they want to discriminate based on race and religion and feel that Trump will make that possible. They want those “others” pushed aside so that they can have good jobs again. They feel that they have lost their jobs to those others, who they also claim mooch off the system, and they want to put them in their place. They want to get rid of our trade deals and put tariffs in place so that well-paid factory jobs will come back. They want Mexicans to go back to Mexico so that they can have the jobs that the Mexicans are doing in spite of the fact that they don’t really want to do the hard agricultural hand labor.

        They were voting for the Supreme Court and in Christian evangelical circles they talked about how God was going to work miracles through a very flawed human. They consider it God’s will that Trump be elected. He will save the babies. He will stop gay marriage. He will make it so that a business owner can turn away gays without repercussions. (They will be surprised that even if they turn away gays legally there can still be serious repercussions where people refuse to use the business.) They don’t understand that freedom of speech doesn’t mean there are no consequences for what you say. They don’t get that it means you won’t be arrested by the government for what you say but that your neighbors can object and refuse to patronize your business and can refuse to continue a friendship. They voted to keep their guns because they are sure that Hillary would send the military to take away their guns.

        They had lots of reasons that they voted for Trump and for very few of them was the reason that Hillary was a woman. They would have happily voted Sarah Palin into office.

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    • avatar

      blink14 November 9, 2016, 9:55 am

      That article is very accurate and well written. I grew up in a rural area that despite being within reasonable driving distance of one of the biggest cities in the US, has stagnated because of the lack of opportunity. Jobs for those with college educations who want a career path are few and far between. It is close enough to the metropolitan area to have a serious drug and crime problem brewing at a high rate. Education in the public school system is generally ranked low in comparison to other communities in the state, and with few alternative options. So you grow up, you maybe get a college education and maybe you stay for one of the few jobs open to you. Maybe you commute 2+ hours on a train to get into a city. Maybe you own a small business and struggle to get by. Maybe you took your high school diploma and found a decent paying job, but don’t expect much more. Maybe you’ve spent your life working your family’s farm, and its profitability is dropping drastically because you are being pushed out by the bigger guy. These are all reasons people are desperate to find an ally, to find someone who is going to give them solutions to their dire situations. A lot of these people saw a hand reach out to them in Trump’s campaign and a turned back in Clinton’s. People in large cities may be louder, but the population of America’s rural and isolated areas is large enough to contend, as this election as proved.

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    • avatar

      TheRascal November 9, 2016, 10:58 am

      I’m so glad you shared that Cracked article. I had read it the other day and found it to be the most enlightening/educational about the mindset of the Trump voter. Living in the liberal bubble of NYC cuts me off completely from the people in the communities that the article discusses. I’ve never felt so blind to that plight as I do today.

      I’m also sad. So sad. Have already cried with some coworkers. Been trying to manage the persistent bubble of anxiety that has found a home in my chest since 9 pm last night. I can’t believe this is our country.

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      • juliecatharine

        Juliecatharine November 9, 2016, 11:29 am

        Thank you for the link, that is an excellent article.

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    • avatar

      Gwyneth6 November 9, 2016, 7:13 pm

      Very interesting article, thank you for sharing!

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  • avatar

    ktfran November 9, 2016, 9:53 am

    I couldn’t sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night and kept waking up and just felt numb. I wanted to blow off work today and just have fun to forget about this horrible, horrible mess. I’m staying off social media today and the news sites. I can’t stomach it.

    More than 80% of my extended family voted for Trump. I’m strongly considering skipping out on Thanksgiving this year. My mom will be upset, but this will be still too fresh.

    When a friend and I were texting last night, I told her that I wanted to blow tomorrow off and drink and have fun. She said… “Yes, let’s drink and then get an abortion because we still can.” I’m incredibly sad.

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    • avatar

      K November 9, 2016, 10:11 am

      Same about not being able to sleep, and about my extended family all voting for him. My news feed is all anti-Trump, except for family. Horrible. I had trouble falling asleep knowing that he’d likely win. I woke up at 3 am, saw the news, went to the bathroom and cried. I feel in a stupor today, and just. I have to call people all day for my job, and really don’t feel like it.

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      • avatar

        K November 9, 2016, 10:11 am

        Oops, that was supposed to say “and just so sad, for women, minorities, etc.”

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    • avatar

      Jane November 9, 2016, 1:04 pm

      Same! I was hoping NyQuil would give me some rest, but I lucid-dreamed about the election all night instead. I finally took my phone off airplane mode around 6AM and my stomach has been a pit of knots ever since.

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  • GertietheDino

    GertietheDino November 9, 2016, 9:55 am

    I just feel numb. And sad, mostly sad.

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  • avatar

    anonymousse November 9, 2016, 10:05 am

    I can’t process it.

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  • avatar

    Aya November 9, 2016, 10:24 am

    Wendy, what have you said or are planning to say to Jackson?

    Over the summer we got an anti-Trump mailer with his picture on it, and my 3 year old daughter said “That’s Donald Trump. He’s nice.” (Because he must be nice, since he gets so much attention.)

    I had to tell her in an age appropriate way, that he was not nice, which is probably the most negative thing she had heard me say about a person.

    How do I explain to her now, that this not nice person is our next president?

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy November 9, 2016, 10:42 am

      Jackson woke up excitedly this morning because he knew he would hear who won the election. I told him I had very bad news and that Donald Trump won. He said, “But he’s a really bad person, Mom.” He’s five and he only picks up bits and pieces of what we tell him and what he hears around him, so of course, he doesn’t understand the full impact of this. He only knows that Donald Trump is a bully and that we — the american people — elected him. He asked how this could happen, and I told him because a lot of people are scared about different things and Donald Trump lies like Pinocchio and some people — a lot of people, it turns out — believe his lies and think he’ll make things better for him. Jackson really doesn’t understand how we’ve never had a woman president. When I told him yesterday that for a very long time, women weren’t even allowed to vote, he couldn’t believe it. He told me a little later, “Why doesn’t America like women? Women are the best. I know that because you are a woman and you are the very, very best, Mommy.” My heart aches.

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      • avatar

        Ginger November 9, 2016, 10:50 am

        My heart broke reading those last few lines. Jackson is obviously a very smart, perceptive kid with a great mom.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy November 9, 2016, 11:03 am

        Thank you. Really dreading when Jackson learns that in addition to hating women, America also hates Jews and had no problem electing a clear antisemite who used anti-semetic propaganda in his campaign ads.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph November 9, 2016, 11:25 am

        Ugh, I know Jews who openly supported him (and not just ones named Kushner). Not many, thank goodness, but more than zero. It was a “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” thing.
        The candidate favored by the KKK cannot possibly be a friend of the Jews, no matter how much he hates Muslims.

        I am reminded now of this essay I read years ago: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/12/12/what-we-talk-about-when-we-talk-about-anne-frank
        At the end the couples get to wondering, if the Holocaust came again, who would protect them, would they protect each other. I hate that that’s what I’m thinking about today. But it is.

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      • Cleopatra Jones

        Cleopatra Jones November 9, 2016, 11:45 am

        And as I sadly watched the election results play out, it felt a lot when Hitler rose to power. Many people who were frustrated by the economy and their lack of perceived power, voted to put a hate-monger in power because he would ‘fix’ the country. ::smh::
        .
        Trump’s election as president ushers in the new Holocaust. I can see my rights as a woman and minority in this country exiting the building.

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      • avatar

        Jane November 9, 2016, 1:05 pm

        Your son gives me some hope for the next generation at least.

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      • avatar

        AlwaysALurker November 9, 2016, 1:38 pm

        Jackson seems to have a wonderful empathetic soul… and reading this makes me heartened that the next generation will be so much better because they have been brought up to see everyone as human by Moms like you.

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  • avatar

    Buzzlebee November 9, 2016, 10:35 am

    I am a total lurker but want to join my community in saying how sad I am today. I’m a federal employee and am very nervous about what’s going to happen over the next 4 years, particularly with a republican congress. A part of me doesn’t want to give my all in public service since the public clearly doesn’t care but I know that isn’t the way forward.

    I hope we can all continue to do good in the world and remember, this too shall pass. There will be another election in 4 years and in the mean time we can continue to treat each other with respect and kindness. That seems important now more than ever.

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover November 9, 2016, 10:38 am

      Correction: there will be another election in TWO years. An extremely important one. I hope everyone’s getting ready for it.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph November 9, 2016, 10:54 am

        Yes! I didn’t have any senators up for re-election this time, but I will next time. I did have a representative election and the Republican ran uncontested. How ridiculous is that? This can’t be allowed to happen again in 2 years. We need to take back Congress!

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh November 9, 2016, 10:45 am

      Yes, another lurker who relies on federal funds for her job. And on top of that my job is related to climate change. I agree with redrover below in 2 years I will work my hardest to vote those people out.

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    • othy

      othy November 9, 2016, 10:57 am

      My job is paid for by federal funds. And we’ve got a huge renewal coming up for the grant next year. I’m hoping that a red congress/senate doesn’t decide that cancer research is unnecessary – because it’s honestly a huge fear of mine.

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      • GertietheDino

        GertietheDino November 9, 2016, 11:04 am

        I work in infrastructure, Republicans don’t fund infrastructure, I share your fear.

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      • avatar

        ktfran November 9, 2016, 11:19 am

        Same. I work for a large engineering firm (largest in the U.S.). If people stop spending on infrastructure, we’re fucked.

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    • avatar

      Vathena November 9, 2016, 11:29 am

      I’m a contractor in an NIH lab. Many of my lab-mates are visiting fellows or post-docs from other countries. I can hardly face them today. I’m so ashamed of my fellow Americans.

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    • avatar

      Nett Rando November 9, 2016, 11:58 am

      I work in research and thankfully our funds are locked in for 2-ish years. Hopefully we still all have jobs when the money literally runs out with this anti-science crew running things.

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  • avatar

    redhead November 9, 2016, 10:37 am

    Agreed completely. I am horrified and heartbroken.

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  • kmtthat

    kmtthat November 9, 2016, 10:39 am

    As a woman and a minority I feel deeply betrayed. But not surprised.

    1. One of the main reasons I left my last company was because after a work dinner, one of the partners (owners) of the company got good and drunk with me and repeatedly rubbed my thigh and back while I was frozen in shock. He then forceably followed me into a cab when I tried to leave, then ran after me as I entered my apartment building. I can only image what would have happened if I did not have a doorman there. I never reported him and at times blamed myself. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the company would not have let him go, I would have been pinned as the “hysterical woman,” and I didn’t want to ruin the lives of his wife and children that he has spent all night showing me pictures of.
    2. When I found out my live-in boyfriend of three years had been cheating on me earlier this year, he told me later that he “never really saw women as people.”
    3. I went on a first date months later with a cop dealing with gangs in Chicago’s Southside who told me “it’s really hard to be a white man these days. Every company only wants to hire minorities.” He also said the media blows race issues way out of proportion and with Black Lives Matter his job isn’t “fun anymore.” There was no second date.
    4. The people over the years who have “complimented” me by saying they didn’t believe I was Mexican American because I was so: light-skinned, thin, articulate, educated (WTF).
    5. That time I stood my ground in the middle of a business meeting and my higher up laughed and called me a “spicy Latina” as a way to take me down a peg and dismiss my concerns. And then told me he dated Latinas (so you know, he was just complementing me, right?)

    And I have it comparably easy. I now work for a phenomenal intentional company where I have financial security, excellent healthcare, paid maternity leave, and where I see women, minorities, and LGBTQ professionals respected and provided opportunities. As a single person with no kids, no property, etc. and in a high tax bracket…I still very much am happy to pay my fair share of taxes to social programs for those who need support the most. Because I have succeed despite the odds, I have empathy for others, not a desperate need to piss a circle around “what is mine” and “what I earned.” As a country, where has our empathy gone?

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    • Cleopatra Jones

      Cleopatra Jones November 9, 2016, 11:52 am

      Ah, I feel your pain Kmentothat except exchange Latina with black/African-American.
      If I had a nickel for every time someone said that I was ‘[insert racist/sexist back handed compliment] for a black woman’, I’d be hella rich.

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  • avatar

    TheHizzy November 9, 2016, 10:47 am

    My boyfriend has 3 daughters, they are Hispanic. I have a good relationship with the oldest and the other two I’m still forming a relationship with. I just reached out to the oldest to discuss birth control options, while she still has them. She has lofty, and achievable goals, that I want to make sure she can reach and still family plan.

    I have found it so hard to bite my tongue on social media to my friends who are pro Trump. You just voted to have my rights taken away, deport my boyfriend who is a citizen, and tell me I’m just flat out worthless. Not to mention my gay friends have been told they aren’t even people.

    Separation of church and state. Where did that go? Why does it not exist anymore? We were NOT founded on Christian principals. We stole land from native people to start a nation where we weren’t persecuted for religion. Sigh.

    On a side note – I got approved for Maple Match that I signed up for forever ago…..

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  • avatar

    girltuesday November 9, 2016, 11:53 am

    I’m so so so disappointed – I was completely shocked. I am also mad at her – she didn’t campaign as hard in Wisconsin and Michigan as she could have, and guess what happened? I’m mad at the third party voters (I’m sorry, I am), because I knew this would happen.

    The silver lining – my very red county in a very blue state went blue for the first time since the 30s. That gives me hope.

    Big hugs to all of you today, sisters and brothers. Don’t forget about the mid-terms.

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    • courtney89

      courtney89 November 9, 2016, 12:07 pm

      Agreed about the third-party voters. I considered it, but knew then my vote would get lost in the shuffle and needed to choose the only logical choice for President. I am scared as a woman, but all I can do is pray and hope that things don’t turn out like I’m afraid they will. I hope this doesn’t divide us even more, though i’m afraid it will do the opposite. I will try to respect and support Mr. Trump as my President, though i never thought i would be saying that. Hard day for all of us.

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      • avatar

        girltuesday November 9, 2016, 12:11 pm

        I commend you for saying that, but I will absolutely not respect, support, or even acknowledge him as my president.

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      • avatar

        Ron November 9, 2016, 1:22 pm

        girlfriday —

        I get the frustration. I’m sad, frustrated, and hunkered down, but what you are saying strikes me as too similar to how the Rs treated Obama, basically viewing him as an invalid ‘other’ imposter president and basically rooting for 4 years of abject national failure so that they could limit him to one term and re-take control.

        Four years is a lot of suffering. I don’t like Trump, I frightened of how my nation will change, but I can’t root against it, which is basically what a view that Trump is illegit is calling for.

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      • kmtthat

        kmtthat November 9, 2016, 1:31 pm

        I don’t respect or support him and won’t, when he’s made it clear he does not support or respect me. However, I do hope he has advisers that keep him from getting us all blown up.

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      • avatar

        K November 9, 2016, 2:01 pm

        @kmtthat, exactly – all of that.

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    • avatar

      Nett Rando November 9, 2016, 12:33 pm

      It was not the 3rd party voters who lost Michigan and Wisconsin, it was trump getting more votes. If you want to play the “add 3rd party to candidate vote total” game, add Johnson’s votes to trump and his margin INCREASES. Having the Libertarians in the race actually allowed Hillary to win the popular vote.

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      • avatar

        AlwaysALurker November 9, 2016, 2:49 pm

        That is actually incorrect. Exit polls show that the majority of Johnson voters would have voted for Clinton as their second choice. Trump is a protectionist so hardly a free market advocate.

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      • avatar

        Nett Rando November 9, 2016, 7:11 pm

        Exit polls also show that the majority of both 3rd party candidates would have just sat out the election if they didn’t have a voice. Those voters are not voting for the major parties because they choose not to, not because they are secretly a wayward Democrat/republican who doesn’t know better.

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  • avatar

    Friend of Beagles November 9, 2016, 12:01 pm

    Longtime lurker, occasional commenter. Gadzooks, this bites. My initial thought is that if you haven’t already, join up with Pantsuit Nation on Facebook–it’s a great place with a lot of strong people and positive support. But my also think that we need to step up for each other on the community level. Support each other IRL. Say something when you see everyday discrimination occurring. Support local businesses. There’s going to be a lot of Go Fund Me campaigns as people lose their health care coverage; consider donating. And consider sending a contribution to a nonprofit that works with people who are really going to be taking it on the chin under the new regime, like Planned Parenthood, the Southern Poverty Law Center, the ACLU, Amnesty International, Black Lives Matter, Human Rights Campaign, or the like.

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  • avatar

    artsygirl November 9, 2016, 12:12 pm

    I am so numb today – maybe I was in a bubble, none of my friends/family/acquaintances openly supported him. My state (Indiana) was going to go red no matter what – but since there have been very few Trump Pence signs in my city, I just assumed his support would be apathetic at best and mostly just from people pulling the R lever. Unfortunately even incumbent democrats lost their positions in my state so we are now one of the most conservative in the country. I work in the not for profit sector and co-workers were crying today – everyone is so shell shocked and confused. The America we thought existed obviously doesn’t. There is so much more anger and hate than I ever conceived.

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom November 9, 2016, 12:14 pm

    I’m already seeing the hateful consequences of Trump running for president. At our last high school football game our kids, who are mostly white, shouted n****r at the kids from the other school , who were mostly black. Yesterday some of our kids were shouting insults at people from school bus windows. The school is going to put a stop to it but I feel this is happening because the kids come from homes where people are excited to drop political correctness and are emboldened to be racist. Now that Trump actually won the election I assume it will get much worse. They feel that they can say whatever they want without consequence and, even worse, they enjoy it. The ugliness is just beginning.

    One of the things that stuns me is that one of the most vocal Trump supporters that I know is a woman who is Hispanic and is married to a man who is Hispanic and has children who definitely look Hispanic. It hasn’t occurred to her that her family could be discriminated against because of their ethnicity. Her kids could easily be the next kids being taunted.

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    • kmtthat

      kmtthat November 9, 2016, 12:23 pm

      I’m “lucky” in that to most people I pass as white, so I won’t get as much of the Latino/a backlash that will be coming. But unfortunately there were a significant amount of Latino/as that voted for Trump. It’s the “we made it – fuck you” mentality of not wanting to be associated with the “bad” Latino/as, e.g. illegal immigrants. As someone who grew up in a border town (literally 15 min drive to Mexico) I’ve known people who crossed illegally and heard what they went through and why. Every last one of them was here working their asses off to be able to send money home to support their family, working thankless jobs and long hours.

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      girltuesday November 9, 2016, 12:24 pm

      I’m Hispanic and I die a little on the inside when I see Hispanic Trump supporters. They’ve been duped to think he cares about them. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t.

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  • avatar

    Anon from LA November 9, 2016, 12:21 pm

    Honest question here: When you find out that someone you love voted for Trump, how do you go about forgiving them?

    My parents and I don’t talk about politics much. They’ve always leaned conservative but I’ve gotten increasingly liberal as I’ve grown older. My dad (who’s an immigrant) can’t vote because he’s not a citizen, but I know that he hates Obama. I’ve suspected for a while that my mom, who is a citizen, would vote for Trump. But since we don’t talk about politics much, I couldn’t know for sure. To be honest, I didn’t ask because I figured I wouldn’t like the answer.

    And now, the day after the election, she’s posted something on Facebook that confirms that she is, indeed, a Trump supporter.

    I feel completely devastated. I feel like my entire understanding of who she is as a person has been shattered. I’ve never been more disappointed in her in my life. And I don’t know how I should respond, or if I even should? Should I unfriend her? (She’ll certainly notice the change within a few days.) Should I call her and try to talk about my feelings. (My parents and I generally get a long but we don’t have the kind of open relationship that can weather that sort of conversation.) Do I go dark for a few days until I think I can stomach talking to her again? Do I just carry on our relationship as usual and pretend like this has no impact on me?

    To make things worse, my parents are supposed to fly out to visit for Christmas. They’re planning on staying with my husband and me. I don’t know if I’m going to be capable of being “normal” around them. I’m not particularly interested in spending time with them, to say the least.

    I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I love my parents. I love my mom. But I have little respect for her.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy November 9, 2016, 12:41 pm

      This is one of the most disheartening feelings.

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      • avatar

        Anon from LA November 9, 2016, 12:52 pm

        To make matters worse, my parents are both ardent non-denominational Christians. Even though I’m no longer very religious, the reason why I believe so deeply in social justice and equality is because they raised me in church, where I read and heard about a Jesus that championed immigrants, the poor, the sick, the oppressed. I don’t know what to do with their hypocrisy. If they really believed in that Jesus, how could they vote for Trump?

        I don’t know if there are answers to my questions. I don’t know even know how to bring up these questions with my parents or if I should.

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        RedRoverRedRover November 9, 2016, 1:02 pm

        The problem is that religion is once again being used as a tool for control. And as it often is, it’s specifically being used to control women and keep us in our place. No abortion, no birth control, means no careers and no independence. Right-wing men have been trying to take that away from us for decades. Now they may actually succeed. They’ve managed to boil down “religion” to one issue: reproductive rights. My grandfather, who is highly religious and has always been left-leaning, is now rabidly right based on this ONE issue. I imagine that’s the case for a lot of religious Trump supporters. Their leadership is preaching that they have to vote Republican, and so they do.

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        RedRoverRedRover November 9, 2016, 1:04 pm

        Sorry, forgot my actual point. If it makes you feel any better, she may have had anti-abortion preached to her for so long that “saving the babies” overrides every other part of the religion for her. She may still believe everything else, but feels it’s her duty to do this for babies. Maybe if you look at it that way it will help you cope.

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        Anon from LA November 9, 2016, 1:12 pm

        @RedRoverRedRover: for some reason, I can’t seem to respond to comment. Thanks–your thoughts on abortion are helpful. I think could definitely be part of what drove my mom to vote for Trump as she is very pro-life.

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    • avatar

      Callifax November 9, 2016, 12:51 pm

      My MIL is a Trump supporter. We’ve always had a really, really good relationship for the 7 years I’ve been with her son. But now…yeah. I’ve lost a lot of respect. It makes me really, really sad. I don’t know how to let go of those negative feelings.

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    • avatar

      va-in-ny November 9, 2016, 1:01 pm

      I’ve seen this conversation a few times today, and I hate it. “I don’t respect my parents political views, I’m going to have to stop visiting…” I find it to be awful. I’m likely ultra-sensitive on the topic since my dad died a week ago unexpectedly, at 58. He might have voted for Trump, if he had been alive on Election Day. And honestly, I wouldn’t care. That polarizing “I don’t respect you because of your views” mindset is exactly what a lot of people based their votes for Hillary on. They DIDN’T want that kind of America.

      You love your parents. I would hope that means accepting them even with what you perceive to be their faults.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy November 9, 2016, 1:07 pm

        I’m so sorry for your loss.

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      • avatar

        Anon from LA November 9, 2016, 1:16 pm

        I’m sorry for your loss. Regarding my parents, I’m not saying I’m actually going to disinvite them. I still love them and of course I still want a relationship with them. But I don’t know how to cope with the fact that I’m SO disappointed in them. I don’t know what to say them now that I can’t deny their hypocrisy. What makes things worse is that we don’t have the kind of relationship where we can be open about conflict. We don’t talk through disagreements. We just bury them and never discuss them. So I feel like I can’t talk to them about this.

        Acceptance is sometimes easier said than done. I’m not there yet and I don’t know how I’m going to get there.

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      • avatar

        AlwaysALurker November 9, 2016, 1:21 pm

        I’m very sorry for your loss va-in-ny. The loss of a loved one so suddenly shows us that life is very short and you need to grab it if you can.

        But as a woman of color, an Arab/Muslim and an immigrant to the US, I would really like to stress that staying quiet in the face of support for an outright bigot and demagogue is really not the answer. I don’t mean to say cut off your loved ones but please don’t stay quiet. It’s the silent accepting majority that helped get us into this mess in the first place.

        https://www.ted.com/talks/suzanne_barakat_islamophobia_killed_my_brother_let_s_end_the_hate

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      • kare

        kare November 9, 2016, 1:44 pm

        Sorry for your loss.

        I also agree with you. My entire family voted for Trump, but I don’t think less of them. I have never voted for a Republican, and they don’t think less of me. It just happens to be that the issues they care the most about aligned with Trump. My parents do not take anything else into consideration besides the issues. It’s one thing if a friend or loved one says they are a Trump supporter and starts saying racist or misogynist things, it’s another for them to vote for a candidate begrudgingly. I mean my brother fought for this country and now has crippling PTSD with a TBI, I’m sure as hell not going to criticize his voting choice.

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        ktfran November 9, 2016, 2:07 pm

        I was one of the people who said I’m not sure if I could go home for Thanksgiving this year and spend a long weekend with my family, who voted for Trump. The thing is, despite not agreeing with their political views, I love them. And I unfortunately understand where they’re coming from. This election and today especially I feel so raw, I’m not sure how I will handle my family if politics come up. I will still whole heartedly go home for Christmas. And I will always love my family.

        There are things that are important to them, politically. There are things that are important to me, politically. Our view points and life experiences will not match up.

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        SLS November 9, 2016, 2:07 pm

        I’m very sorry for your loss.

        And, I would also like you thank you for making this statement regarding disrespecting or “divorcing” (for lack of a better term) family, and even friends, because they don’t share the same views. My family spans the spectrum from faithful democrats to faithful republicans and everyone in between. I don’t disrespect those for having a differing opinion to my own. I appreciate the fact that I can have friends and family with differing opinions and views that keep me thinking – we rarely changes each others minds but it is refreshing to be reminded of different thoughts/opinions.

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        RedRoverRedRover November 9, 2016, 2:15 pm

        You can still respect the person, without respecting their views. There are some views I just cannot respect and I think that’s ok. I think people conflate respecting people who have certain views, with respecting the views themselves. We don’t have to respect every possible opinion just because it comes out of the mouth of a loved one.

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      • avatar

        ktfran November 9, 2016, 2:23 pm

        I forgot to add that I’m so very sorry for your loss.

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    • avatar

      Nett Rando November 9, 2016, 2:05 pm

      I’ve pondered this, and I think the best way to handle it is to, lovingly, ask why they felt the need to vote for evil psychotic power-hungry narcissist — but obviously don’t use those words until later on when tempers flare. Really if you’re close you can remain close, but give it a few days to settle down before diving into that bowl of worms.

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    • gigi

      gigi November 9, 2016, 2:20 pm

      Wrestling with that problem myself this week (even before the votes were cast), in regards to my boyfriend & his entire family. If you discover any answers, please share……

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph November 9, 2016, 2:38 pm

        Honestly, gigi, I think you should seriously consider whether you even want to stay in the relationship. The level of disrespect toward women that someone has to show in order to actually support Trump is… well, it’s hard to believe it won’t manifest in other ways that impact you more directly. Here is a man who raped his wife, cheated on multiple wives, forces himself on women because he’s rich and powerful, doesn’t support equal pay or family leave for fathers or non-biological parents, thinks pregnancy is an inconvenience for employers…. if even a fraction of that carries into your own relationship, that’s still pretty awful.

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      • gigi

        gigi November 9, 2016, 2:49 pm

        Yep all of that has been running through my mind non-stop believe me. I think our core values are just too different, it would be different if it was my family members I guess, but with a boyfriend of 6 years….. maybe not. His father even came out with some bluntly racial things & they think its funny to bait me, because I am the only Dem they know. So disrespectful, I would never do that to them even tho I have no respect for their beliefs at this point either

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        Anon from LA November 9, 2016, 3:24 pm

        I agree with SpaceySteph. I think it would be different if you were already married, but since you’re not, you should take a long, hard look how your BF’s support of Trump reflects his beliefs and values. Even if you can’t respect his vote for Trump, can you respect his beliefs and values? Can you respect *why* he voted for Trump? In turn, does he respect you and your beliefs? Is there even a hint of misogyny or sexim in the way he treats you?

        However you deal with this, I wish you strength and courage.

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        SpaceySteph November 9, 2016, 5:05 pm

        I think it’s worth considering his motivations. Is he really a trump supporter or is he just a dyed in the wool conservative? Maybe you can live with one more than the other. Maybe you still have common ground on some values? My husband is Catholic and pro-life, but he believes that making birth control affordable and available and expanding the social safety net is the best way to reduce abortions, so we find common ground on supporting those causes. If he was throwing pigs blood on people trying to go into Planned Parenthood, though, not so much.
        Consider not just his voting record but his actual beliefs and actions. If you plan to have children one day) If one of your kids identified as LGBT, what would he do? If your careers were in conflict (like you got a job offer elsewhere and he had to leave his career to support) would he weigh the pros and cons and decide which was best as a couple, or just naturally expect as the woman you would yield?
        As for his family… many people have extended family and in-law family who they differ with ideologically, but when his dad baits you, what’s his response? Does he get pleasure from his parents trying to needle you or does he defend you? And how often do you have to see his parents? Do they live next door or across the country?

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      blink14 November 9, 2016, 2:39 pm

      You don’t have to agree with her views, but you do need to respect that she is allowed to make her own choice. Maybe try to understand why she voted for Trump – many people I know who voted for him didn’t actually vote FOR him, they voted for a view or stance he’s taken on issues that are important to them.

      Maybe she’s upset that you didn’t vote for her choice. You don’t know that. The world is not one way, just because you are offended by her choice, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t or can’t be offended by yours.

      Don’t let this election rip your family apart. Your mother is still your mother, she’s likely voted based on topics that have been important to her for a long time. Just because you think you are right, it doesn’t mean she is wrong. What it means is that you both have differing opinions, and frankly, its kind of ridiculous to let this silly man create such a divide in your family. Ultimately, no one knows how this thing is going to play out.

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      • avatar

        Anon from LA November 9, 2016, 3:24 pm

        This is a good perspective: “just because you are offended by her choice, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t or can’t be offended by yours.” Thanks for that thought.

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      K November 9, 2016, 2:44 pm

      My boyfriend and I are also dealing with this – my mom, my extended family, both of his parents and his 2 sisters all voted for Trump. We’re just so disappointed – me even more so than him, considering that I’m a woman. I’m dreading talking to my mom later (we talk on the phone every day). If she brings up the election, I’m going to tell her (for the 10th time) that I don’t want to talk about it. That’s the only way I can continue to talk to her and not feel anger and disappointment. I love her, but feel sad that she is so short-sighted. And, like you said above – she is a diehard Catholic and loves Jesus, so how can she vote for someone like Trump?

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  • FireStar

    Firestar November 9, 2016, 12:48 pm

    I’m so sorry for us all.

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  • avatar

    AlwaysALurker November 9, 2016, 1:06 pm

    I’m an Arab woman of Muslim upbringing with a foreign husband. I was filling out the last forms for my Green Card yesterday. What a time to be an Arab/Muslim immigrant to America today!

    I’ve been silently sobbing all day. I want to have children soon and I’ve been thinking what will I say to them if they ask why I chose to immigrate to such a hostile environment. I’ve lived in the US for almost half my life and considered it to be my home but now I think maybe I could have made better choices.

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    • avatar

      redhead November 9, 2016, 11:31 pm

      I’m so sorry. I’m a white Christian and I am horrified by the man. Trump is hostile. I hope and pray America is not hostile. I hope that isn’t what America turns into. It’s certainly not my America. Take heart, we appreciate you. We all came from somewhere and those in power are fooling themselves if they think they’re better than anyone else.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny November 9, 2016, 1:10 pm

    My Facebook feed has been nothing but shocked and sad posts since last night. I am just… bummed. I feel the same way I felt after GWB declared the US was invading Iraq (I was in college), and the day after Sep. 11 (I was a senior in hs)- the feeling of just, what do we do now? What’s going to happen? That feeling of uncertainty. I really loved Hillary’s speech this morning. It gives me some hope in the future.

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  • avatar

    Rangerchic November 9, 2016, 1:15 pm

    I knew going to bed last night he was going to win. Sigh… The only hope I have left is maybe he won’t be as bad as we all fear. But I also kinda feel like it’s the beginning of the end (of America). I mean, I feel like America has been going down the rabbit hole for a while but with Trump and a Republican congress (and a lot of local governments being republican) it just cinches the deal, so to speak.
    I read the article posted above, and being from the south myself, I get what he was saying very well. But! Trump is an elitist – did they not realize that when voting for him? Ugh – come on people! I also read an article this morning that said 54% of women voted for him. Really?? If that’s the case, I’m so disappointment that that many women voted for him.

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  • avatar

    Unwanted_Truth November 9, 2016, 1:22 pm

    Farrah Abraham 2020!!

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  • avatar

    mertlej November 9, 2016, 1:30 pm

    I am devastated today. And the scariest part (for me at least) is the idea of what is going to happen with the Supreme Court, and the very real possibility that all three branches of government could be controlled by Republicans. I just don’t know how to handle it. I donated to Planned Parenthood this morning, and I’m going to hug my daughter extra tight today.

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  • avatar

    snoopy128 November 9, 2016, 1:52 pm

    Some interesting data that is well shown from the NY times:
    http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/11/08/us/politics/election-exit-polls.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur

    I’m Canadian, and the one thing this election cemented in my mind is that we cannot be complacent. We cannot be political the one day every 4 year we show up to vote (if we even do that). We need to be vocal all the time. We need to support the organizations and causes that are near and dear to us. We need to demand politicians that are accountable. We need to make our voices heard. Voting is one small part of this. In the wake of this election, make sure the organizations that protect your interest are protected- donate ($ or time), learn about the issues that are affecting you *and* the issues facing those in the country who are nothing like you.

    Practice compassion. Practice listening. Practice empathy. Further division along race/gender/class/party lines will not heal the chasm that has opened up.

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    • avatar

      redhead November 9, 2016, 11:32 pm

      Totally agree with this

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  • Boobs Magee

    Boobs Magee November 9, 2016, 2:22 pm

    Another long-time lurker feeling compelled to come out of the woodwork.
    As a woman, and the mother of a daughter in college, this link conveys exactly how I feel right now:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-reactions_us_5822f464e4b0d9ce6fc00710

    I’m utterly heartbroken and devastated.

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  • avatar

    dmarie November 9, 2016, 2:40 pm

    I have only posted a few times but I want to say how thankful I am for all of you, especially today. I am devastated. In fact I spent more time crying last night than I care to admit and I live in a very conservative area so these supportive messages mean so much to me.

    My husband and I voted Clinton but almost all of our families voted for Trump and that may be almost the worst part for me. I am an engineer and I depend on protections for women in the workplace (we all do of course). But when I tried to explain to my mother about the sexual harassment, nasty comments and occasional inappropriate touching, I experienced as the only female in my class she parroted the…they are just words/that’s just how it is bull and my heart broke. Then the nation endorsed the same behaviors and I was crushed.

    But seeing so many of you here is reminding me that in 2 years we have a job to do removing control of congress and that if we are willing to stand up to bigotry, racism and hate again and again we can. Frankly as a middle class white chick I’m better off than so many others after this election so I can’t imagine their fears and I hope the country doesn’t continue to fail us all.

    Just as a last note I am also a Christian and I want to put it out there that we are taught that Jesus loves everyone. No exceptions. I’m sorry that people have really lost sight of that.

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  • avatar

    SLS November 9, 2016, 3:00 pm

    Instead of being devastated… why not focus on the positive? A lot of women won yesterday; maybe consider spending time celebrating their victories.

    Ilhan Omar: The 34-year-old Muslim activist won the Minnesota House race, making her the nation’s first Somali-American legislator.

    Tammy Duckworth: The Democratic senator won her race in Illinois, becoming the second Asian-American female U.S. senator and the first female senator to have seen combat.

    Kamala Harris: The attorney general of California won the race for the first Senate seat to open up in the state in about 25 years. Harris, who is biracial, is the first Indian-American woman in the U.S. Senate and the second black woman to ever be elected to the U.S. Senate.

    Catherine Cortez Masto: The former Nevada attorney general won the Nevada Senate election, becoming the first Latina senator.

    Kate Brown: Oregon elected the first openly LGBT governor in U.S. history. Brown was the incumbent in her race but running for election for the first time.

    Lisa Blunt Rochester: The former Delaware Labor Secretary won Delaware’s U.S. House race, making her the first African-American woman to represent Delaware in Congress.

    Stephanie Murphy: The 37-year-old Democrat won her Florida district race, becoming the first Vietnamese-American woman elected to Congress.

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover November 9, 2016, 3:57 pm

      Thanks for this.

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  • avatar

    Ron November 9, 2016, 3:35 pm

    Too many Dems stayed home.

    2016 Trump got about 1.55 million FEWER votes than 2012 Romney
    BUT
    2016 Clinton got about 5.95 million FEWER votes than 2012 Obama.

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    • avatar

      SLS November 9, 2016, 3:57 pm

      Those fewer votes are a direct reflection of not being able to convert Bernie supporters. At least that is what they were discussing this morning on the news with various political analysts (in regards to the rust belt)

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    • avatar

      Nett Rando November 9, 2016, 4:20 pm

      And yet she still scraped by a popular vote victory….

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph November 9, 2016, 6:00 pm

      Stayed home or had their vote suppressed? All the new regulations targeting “voter fraud,” and reducing vote locations/hours that went into effect between 2012 and 2016 target Democrat-leaning voters more than Republican-leaning.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray November 9, 2016, 4:39 pm

    I’m so pissed. And sad. Mostly sad, right now. The attorney in the office next door and I have been in tears most of day. There’s a dark cloud over my whole law firm today and the streets of Chicago — and elsewhere I’m sure. So much progress just went POOF.

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    • avatar

      Miss MJ November 9, 2016, 6:40 pm

      The fact that they will gleefully erase Obama’s (at times imperfect, but still) progress for the poor and middle class and replace it with nothing just haunts me. It is galling that a man supported by the KKK will get to erase Obama’s legacy. And, more than that, untold numbers of people will suffer emotionally, financially and physically under Trump & Co. And, it’s pretty clear with the margins that if just a few more folks had shown up or not cast a protest vote, then we’d have the presidency and senate. (Last I saw Ayotte lost, so we’d have had 48 dem, the 2 indies and Kaine as the tie-breaker.) Imagine what we could have done.

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      • avatar

        girltuesday November 9, 2016, 7:34 pm

        @MissMJ, I don’t think anybody can take that away from Obama. Whenever there’s a change one way, there’s backlash, and it’s a cycle. I am totally hopeful this will turn around eventually. The voting patterns of young voters look promising.

        We have to remember, when they go low – we go high.

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      • avatar

        Ron November 9, 2016, 8:27 pm

        No, there are 51 Republican senators and one independent. We had to win PA to get to an effective 50 and we did not.

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  • avatar

    Ron November 9, 2016, 7:08 pm

    Snoopy128 —

    One of the truly amazing things to me from that NYT data is that much as I may think Trump made an ass of himself in the debates and campaign, for every slice of time from the end of August onward, people who made their choice for president during that time slice favored Trump. So, Clinton’s whole campaign shed votes from 1 September onward — the ads, the good debates, her public appearances were a net negative, compared to Trump’s seemingly chaotic debates and campaign. One conclusion to me is that seeing the huge Trump rallies did sway people. Another is that just as Obama was hyrt by his taped primary comment about ‘clinging to their guns and religion’, Clinton was hurt by her ‘basket of deplorables’.

    Trump was appealing to rural America, southerners, and those in the MidWest , Great Lakes, and Rocky Mountain region, all of whom are very sensitive to the notion that what they see as the evil coastal elites look down upon their way of life and mock them. Comments that reflect a basic lack of respect can have very negative consequences when you need to win FL, NC, Michigan, and want to seal the deal with Ohip and Iowa.

    Another conclusion for me is that when Clinton was looking very strong in the polls and tried to go for a mandate and appeal to voters in traditional red states in order to have a big mandate to use agains the almost certain R house, she lost focus on the more progressive Ds she needed to win and on the states on her pathway to victory. The attempts to turn the red states totally failed and the dilution of effort and message hurt elsewhere.

    Comey, I believe intentionally, put the final nail in her chances — really, outright sabotaged her, both in the July lecturing and in reopening the investigation based upon nada.

    Pundits warn against peaking too early. August is way too early to peak.

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  • avatar

    RedRoverRedRover November 10, 2016, 7:50 am

    You know what I noticed yesterday, on some of the sites I frequent? All the trolls are gone. There are still pro-Trump supporters, but nowhere near the quantity. You can make a negative comment about Trump and you actually end up up voted into the positives. Before, those comments were all downvoted to oblivion.

    It was obviously paid trolls. The difference is stark. The whole tone has changed. I’d read articles before the election about the paid pro-Trump trolls, and I thought I identified a few. But I had no idea it was so many.

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  • avatar

    Ron November 10, 2016, 8:45 am

    Looking at the stats from the exit interviews, there was really only one thing that mattered: white evangelical Christians of all ages and genders went for Trump by 81% to 16%. EVERYONE ELSE went for Clinton by 59% to 35%. Race was also stark, with blacks supporting Clinton 88% to 8%. Although Trump ran what was rightly called the most misogynist campaign ever, there was almost no difference in the share of the vote received from married women (49C to 47T, which certainly means more married white women voted Trump than Clinton). The womens’ vote advantage is only among single women, who went 62% Clinton to 33% Trump. Nothing Clinton was able to do about the white evangelical vote, but she should have done better with married white women.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark November 10, 2016, 9:21 am

    Eh, I’ve said it before and its just been proved again. Most americans are just fucking dumb and dumb and dumb. Oh, and NEWSFLASH — these same dimwits are OF COURSE the ones that breed like rats… So yeah, surprise, surprise. America is slowly being taken over by a bunch of halfwits and is thus completely fucked. Democracy is a dangerous thing when much of the population is clearly borderline mentally challenged. (How else do you explain the mass hysteria of love surrounding Forrest Trump?)
    .
    Oh, well.
    .
    That said — HRC was a deeply flawed candidate who I always knew was far too hated by far too many to ever win a general election. Bah. Being right all the time fucking sucks. Now I get to live 2000 all over again. Honestly? I hope america goes to fucking hell. I hope the fly over states starve to fucking death and that global warming lays waste to ALL of the south in a series of hurricanes of biblical scope and all the Jesus freaks are delivered back to their God in broken bits and pieces. In a word, I am beyond pissed off. But Yeah. America deserves what is now assured to be its destruction. Hell, it’s not only what it fucking deserves, but apparently, what most americans fucking want. They VOTED for it. I say — give it to them.
    .
    Ugh. Time to start international dating and marry a foreign national, I guess. Being an American is such a fucking embarrassment. Get me the FUCK out of here.

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover November 10, 2016, 9:44 am

      Too bad the rest of the world is going to get fucked over too. We didn’t even get a say.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark November 10, 2016, 10:29 am

        Don’t panic just yet. I think Trump will do far more damage to our international relationships than he will actually do internationally. It is America which will suffer the most under his inane policies. Although, yes… His environmental stance may have international consequences. Honestly? I still can’t believe that THIS happened. I still can’t believe that I was THIS right.

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        RedRoverRedRover November 10, 2016, 1:03 pm

        The environment is my major concern. And yeah, it’s gonna be fucked.

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        SpaceySteph November 10, 2016, 1:15 pm

        I agree. I’m far from a Green crusader, but I definitely feel like the changes an all-Republican government will make to environmental protections and energy policy are going to cause irreparable damage. Limiting/taxing carbon emissions, incentivizing renewable energy options, fracking… these have global impact.
        And that’s before he drags us and our allies (if we have any left) into another useless war, probably over something ISIS says about him on Twitter.

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        RedRoverRedRover November 10, 2016, 1:22 pm

        The other thing is that the rest of the world isn’t going to want to sign on to a global accord if the US doesn’t. It’s an economic hit. Are the rest of us going to take the hit, while the US sits there making money hand over fist with their anti-environment policies? Unlikely. I think we should anyway, obviously, but I’m guessing China won’t, and if both China and the US are out then that’s the two biggest polluters not even trying. What can the rest of us even do at that point?

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark November 10, 2016, 9:31 am

    The best we can all do now is hold out for Brutus.

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      SpaceySteph November 10, 2016, 9:43 am

      Pence is worse than Trump. Trump is still a wildcard who may not believe/do half the things he said, plus he lacks support from some of the Republican ranks. Pence is exactly the evangelical nightmare he has always claimed to be and would be unstoppable with a Republican-controlled Congress. I spend my days hoping for no Brutus.

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      • avatar

        ktfran November 10, 2016, 10:06 am

        Totally agreed with SS. I feel Pence is extremely more dangerous than Trump to LGBT and women rights.

        Living in Chicago, I’ve followed IN politics the last several years. Pence is a dangerous man to many, many people. He literally scares me.

        Also, here’s hoping RBG holds out for four more years! Oh pretty please!

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark November 10, 2016, 10:30 am

        Perhaps we need a ongoing series of Brutuses then? Hey, everybody LOVES a sequel. 😉

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      • avatar

        ktfran November 10, 2016, 10:35 am

        That I can get on board with!

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      • avatar

        keyblade November 10, 2016, 10:42 am

        I’ve been thinking the same thing. Donald Trump had the stomach to go further and appeal wider than any of his constituents. He got the job done. It remains to be seen what is fully in it for him. He will now have the power to pardon, build money infrastructure, and ensure his children receive the bulk of his empire estate. He will delegate and be a chairperson. The evangelicals who voted for him got what they wanted all along; they now have Pence to do the nitty gritty work. I would not be surprised if women’s reproductive health goes back to the states. Trump can “make that deal”. He’s a wildcard and we will all just have to watch. As others, have remarked, it feels like we are back in the George W Era. But what do I know?

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    Baccalieu November 10, 2016, 10:19 am

    Condolences to my American friends on here (and, really to the whole world). Let share two thoughts that make me feel a little bit better. One is that the US has already had a moron as president last decade, and you (and the world) survived. Not without a lot of damage done admittedly, but we all survived. The second is that I don’t believe that Trump cares one bit about any of his positions or promises and therefore won’t knock himself out to implement any of them (even the wall). He only cares about one thing, making Donald Trump look good, or at least seem important and talked about by everyone. Therefore, if his program is opposed, as long as it is opposed in a way that lets him save face, a lot of this probably won’t come to pass.

    FWIW I think everyone has to do what he threatened not to do (one of the worst of the many awful things about him) and accept the result. This means, not respecting the man, but respecting his right to be president and to govern. It does not mean that you cannot oppose him or do your best to block his policy initiatives, but it does mean that you have to do it in principled fashion, respecting democratic ideals and values and thinking of the overall good of the country, not just mindlessly opposing something because it is proposed by the other side. This is something the Republicans in congress completely failed to do with respect to Obama (and threatened to do with Hilary).

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    • avatar

      keyblade November 10, 2016, 10:50 am

      Thank you for your condolences, Baccalieu. But with congress as it is how obstructionist can opposition be? That is the great fear and grief for many of us. Nobody wants to hear this but it is time for moderates get off the sidelines and become more involved in local politics instead of sideline watching.

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  • avatar

    Ron November 10, 2016, 11:47 am

    Ktfran —
    I think gay rights are likely to persist — public opinion has been flowing in that direction. The bathroom rules likely depart (consolation is that they were rather illogical). Unfortunately, public opinion has been trending against abortion rights and there may well be significant changes in that area. As many have suggested, it may move to state-based decision-making, in which case abortion will still be available in our country, but likely not in more than a dozdn states. It will be a BIG setback for those unable to travel to obtain an abortion.

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      ktfran November 10, 2016, 1:59 pm

      Oh, I totally agree. I think LGBT rights will be fine. If it were someone like Pence who became president, I don’t think you could say that. He tried to make discrimination legal in Indiana. This is why I was saying someone like him would do far more harm.

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom November 10, 2016, 12:00 pm

    Republicans are already disappointed with Trump. This should be interesting. They are complaining he is too much like Obama.

    http://www.redstate.com/patterico/2016/11/10/spending-trillion-dollars-infrastructure-top-trump-priority/

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph November 10, 2016, 1:04 pm

      It’s a shame really… I’ve heard of only 2 Trump policies that I thought “yeah, I could get behind that.”
      One was infrastructure, the other was a term limit for Congress. And those are the only two of his policies that the Republican Congress will oppose. All his other terrible policies they will be all for.

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      • avatar

        Ron November 10, 2016, 3:07 pm

        Congress will support the infra-structure project. R Congresses almost never turn down spending increases or tax cuts with an R in the WH. Deficits only count as a means of preventing a D president from acting. When was the last time an R Congress restrained the deficit under an R president? HW Bush’s cardinal sin against the Rs was raising taxes to cut the deficit.

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover November 10, 2016, 1:07 pm

      Lol, good.

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    • avatar

      Ron November 10, 2016, 1:53 pm

      Congress will get behind the infra-structure plan. Too much money for everyone to pass by. They may be able to grab some for themselves and their major contributors in the construction industry will certainly press them.

      The dirty little secret about the Rs is that they don’t give a damn about deficits or the national debt. It is just a stick to beat Ds with to control their spending on things the Rs don’t want and leave more $ for the next R president to spend. Did Reagan or GWB lower the deficit? Nope, they both exploded it. The only time in recent years that the deficit vanished was under Clinton. The deficit has gone down during most of the Obama years after the stimulus and counter-cyclical spending due to the falling knife economy GWB bequeathed to O.

      Not part of R mythology, but the federal payroll drastically increased under GWB and hardly increased under O.

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  • avatar

    jax November 10, 2016, 2:30 pm

    Why is the only reason you can think of for people not voting for Hillary, is that they can’t stand a female president? Does it not enter your mind that her past actions, shady activities might be the reason? Or does that not fit your narrative?

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy November 10, 2016, 2:38 pm

      I didn’t support Hillary in the primaries, so yes, of course it “fits my narrative” that there are reasons to vote against Hillary other than her being a woman. I didn’t say *everyone* who voted against Hillary did so because she’s a woman. I said I was disgusted in the ones for whom that was a reason. I’m also disgusted in everyone who voted for Trump — everyone, regardless of their reason — who are apparently ok with our president being a man who brags about sexually assaulting women and presented a presidential campaign based on bigotry and xenophobia.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray November 10, 2016, 4:54 pm

      Name ONE shady activity that is worse than Trump’s entire shady life?

      Reply Link
  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray November 10, 2016, 4:48 pm

    I don’t understand all the Hillary hate, to be honest. She’s a tough politicians. No tough politician whose made it as far as she has is perfect. My brother accuses her of being “in bed” with corporations. Show me one fucking politician at that level who is not! And the emails, good god. Wahhh, the emails. What a bunch of crock. TRUMP IS WORSE IN ALL THOSE WAYS. But here we hold this woman to this higher standard; she does one thing you don’t like and off with her head. But that idiot Trump can do so much worse and people still vote for him. WTF. Trump supports are terrible because (i) they are explicitly racist and sexist and admire those qualities about him, or (ii) their priorities are so messed up that they don’t mind those qualities. Are they racist and sexists? No, but they’d rather have a president who is than one deleted emails? supports planned parenthood? (what, what is it about Hillary that is worse than everything wrong with Trump?) Hillary has devoted her life to serving. Trump has devoted his life to himself and shitting on everyone – his employees, his family, even his companies that he ran into the ground. He has demonstrated absolutely zero fucks for humanity and this earth. But “wah, Hillary just rubs me the wrong way” / “wah, the emails.” Fuck that.

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover November 10, 2016, 4:52 pm

      That’s the part that’s misogyny. The higher bar, the sitting on her for doing basically the same as everyone else. The “gut feel” of dislike without knowing her actual platform is all misogyny.

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      • avatar

        Ron November 10, 2016, 5:56 pm

        That’s partly true, and she didn’t benefit from more women coming out to vote for her to counteract the misogynist voters. This election was lost because fewer Dems voted — there weren’t a wave of angry blacks, Latinos, women comin out of the woodwork to support Clinton.

        The other point is that the white evangelicals supported Trump in greater numbers than they supported Romney. It wasn’t simply, perhaps not primarily, misogyny. They’d vote for Satan if they thought he would help them end abortion and gay rights. That is literally the only issues which drive them. Christian love and supporting people who lead lives of integrity are a thing of the past. This election was a referendum on the culture war. Unfortunately, we lost.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray November 10, 2016, 4:53 pm

      My sadness from yesterday is now anger. What’s the next step in grieving? I want to feel normal and happy again. And I hate the thought that I must wait 4 years (or god forbid 8).

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      • avatar

        Ron November 10, 2016, 6:00 pm

        Stop at anger. This isn’t a death and lost ground can be regained. Vow to fight harder next time.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph November 10, 2016, 6:03 pm

        It. Will. Not. Be. 8. It won’t. I have to believe that.

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  • avatar

    SomeGalFromSG November 10, 2016, 6:58 pm

    I’m so hurt and sad to find out both of my brothers and one of my sisters voted for Trump. I am Mexican-American (aka Chicana), our parents came to the United States illegally and so was my older sister, the one that voted for that asshole.
    I try really hard to understand them to understand the reason why they would vote for a man that has no integrity, but I can’t.
    I feel like they betrayed our parents and their struggle so that we can have a better future. Last night my 16 yr old daughter whom has beautiful golden brown skin told me that she was scared, scared of being taunted an being called racists word because of the color of her skin. That broke my heart.
    I have found it very difficult to find words of compassion and explain to my daughters why their dark skinned Mexican uncle would vote for such a disgusting man that dislikes our race. So I told them that they were fucking idots! They agreed LOL
    Welcome to United Snakes of AmeriKKKa everyone!

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    • avatar

      anonymousse November 10, 2016, 9:34 pm

      Why did they? I’m asking my people, too. All anyone says is taxes and jobs. I would trade those things and many, many things to protect the civil liberties of those I care about.

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  • Classic

    Classic November 10, 2016, 9:06 pm

    “According to the Constitution, chosen electors of the Electoral College are the real people who will vote for president, when they meet on Dec. 19 in their respective state capitals
    However, there is technically nothing stopping any of the electors from voting their conscience and refusing to support the candidate to whom they were bound, or from abstaining from voting altogether.”
    Change.org has a petition we can sign. The other two links are related (one contains what I pasted above)
    https://www.change.org/p/electoral-college-electors-electoral-college-make-hillary-clinton-president-on-december-19

    http://nypost.com/2016/11/09/the-one-scenario-that-could-still-get-hillary-into-the-white-house/

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/davidhalperin/electoral-college-can-sto_b_12899016.html

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    • avatar

      Ron November 10, 2016, 10:11 pm

      I can’t do it. I see that as an unworthy route to take. The electoral college should be abolished, not used as a way to thwart the voted will of the electorate. Like governors appointing Senators, the electoral college was evidence of the founders not trusting the people and the elite being able to over-rule the people’s votes. The appointment of Senators was abolished and the electoral college also needs to be abolished. It is a concept unworthy of a democratic government. Hillary supporters were saying exactly that when some clown elector in Washington swore he would never vote for Clinton, even if she carried the state.
      We might as well go back to the original system of only land-owning males over 21 being allowed to vote. That also shows a great lack of democratic principle.

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      • Classic

        Classic November 10, 2016, 10:39 pm

        I did, but I am just a practical and logical person; we work with what we have. The laws are in place, many Republicans did not support their own candidate, which is very unusual, and the margins in some of the states were tenths or hundredths of percents. No harm in seeing if they do want to change or withhold their votes– that is what the law is there for.

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover November 10, 2016, 10:21 pm

      You think there are riots now? Imagine the riots if the electoral college decided to elect Hillary.

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      • Classic

        Classic November 10, 2016, 10:30 pm

        Yes, it would be nastier people doing the rioting. But a few less people, I guess, since Clinton did win the popular vote.

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      • Classic

        Classic November 10, 2016, 11:39 pm

        Ooops! Not nastier! Wrong word! That’s me 🙂 Maybe scarier.

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