The Huffington Post ran an article this week called “Are All the Good Men/Women Really Already Taken?”. The authors said, “No, they aren’t!” They argue that many people embrace the idea that the good ones are taken simply because “it protects them from the possibility of the rejection, disappointment, pain or loss that can accompany the quest for love.” I agree, although timing and luck does play a pretty big part in finding the good ones. On your search for a good one – and it only takes one — there are six things you need in order to have a happy, longterm relationship with him or her, the authors say. Yesterday, when this site was down for maintenance, I asked readers on Facebook to guess what those six things were. Here are some of the answers I liked best:
1. “Communication, ability to spend time apart, both people willing to invest in the relationship, someone to share chocolate with, and the same overall goals with the relationship.”
2. “A delicious cheesecake recipe, a willingness to make said cheesecake, a generosity of spirit to share said cheesecake, the foresight to always have the ingredients to make cheesecake on hand, clean forks, and cold milk.”
3. “Income, alcohol, internet, cheese, TV, and king size bed.”
Keep reading to see what the authors of the article say are the six things you need to “create true, lasting and loving partnerships.”
1. The willingness to risk involvement and emotional engagement.
2. The intention to become the partner of your dreams, rather than just trying to find him or her.
3. The commitment to hang in there without getting discouraged even if you do end up having to kiss a few frogs.
4. The ability to be selective about who you talk and listen to, and pay less attention to your nay-saying friends.
5. A commitment to do your own work to become a more loving, authentic, and trustworthy person.
6. And the patience, trust and faith that make it possible to hang in there and enjoy the ride between now and the time that you get to invalidate this belief!
And I say:
1. A desire to be in a relationship.
2. A willingness to work through your shit.
3. A willingness to accept someone else’s shit.
4. The wisdom to know when to MOA.
5. A life outside of a relationship.