Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Topic of the Day: On Breakups and Broken Hearts

canstockphoto17886571Is there something in the air (I mean, besides the stench of hot garbage in NYC)? Because, lately, there’s been a big uptick in letters I’m receiving from people trying to get over breakups and broken hearts. Oh, what a thing to have a broken heart. How hard and lonely and isolating it can be. When you’re in the thick of it, it’s so easy to lose sight of the big picture, isn’t it? But it’s so important that you don’t! That you hold on tight through the bumpy ride of healing and take the lessons you’ve learned and move forward stronger and better than ever. Not sure how to do that? Need some inspiration? Here are a few past columns and posts that will help:

Your Turn: “How Can I Get Over my First Broken Heart?”

20 Tips for Surviving a Breakup

10 Ways To Move On From a Breakup

My Best Breakup Lesson

What Lessons Have You Learned From Your Breakups?

If you have tried and true tips, advice, or inspiration for getting over a breakup and broken heart, please share in the comments.

5 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Rachel August 8, 2016, 1:34 pm

    I found it empowering after my breakup that I knew I could look for the right guy now that I was single. I learned so much about what I want and need in a relationship in my last failed relationship, and once I was single, I could go out and look for the guy who had what I needed. Now I’m in the best relationship I’ve ever had with someone who fits me really well and makes me really happy. The chance to start over and do it right is powerful.

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  • Portia

    Portia August 8, 2016, 1:57 pm

    I know this is on every list that you have, but the no-contact thing is crucial. If you don’t, the breakup ends up being longer and more painful in the end. That was the only thing that consistently helped me in breakups, and keeping in touch always led to the breakup getting worse down the road. Just say no contact.

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    • avatar

      MissDre August 8, 2016, 2:15 pm

      You’re totally right. Keeping in touch definitely makes things harder in the long run. If I had just cut off contact with my now-ex as soon as he told me he was taking that job in the middle east, I would have been over that shit by now. Instead, we kept talking everyday like nothing changed, and then when he actually left and stopped talking to me, I was crushed all over again. Stupid, stupid mistake on my part.

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  • avatar

    marynn August 9, 2016, 10:03 am

    Even though my boyfriend broke up with me for my first big breakup, I knew in my heart the relationship wasn’t right. I think that was the most painful part, I knew it was over and I knew if we broke up we would never get back together again. But after the first few days of TOTAL HELL passed (I couldn’t eat, when I tried to eat breakfast one morning because I to sit for a test I threw up my coffee), I was actually relieved. I didn’t have to fight for the relationship anymore, I didn’t have to worry about it anymore, I could just focus on myself and why I wasn’t on the best place. I felt an incredible freedom because we had been in a bad place for a while and I felt like I had been walking around with a dark cloud over myself for quite some time. To have that lifted was great.
    So yes, my advice would be… “LET IT GOOOO” and cry with friends and family, have fun with friends and family, and know it will pass. It really will, even though you feel it will not. It may take a few weeks, or even months, but it will be over.

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  • Stonegypsy

    Stonegypsy August 9, 2016, 11:18 am

    I just try to remind myself that millions of people break up every day. And they survive. It hurts, but that hurt doesn’t last forever. It’s helpful during those times when it feels like I’m going to always hurt.
    Then I buy myself some flowers, and go on a date with me.

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