Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Advice for a lonely 24

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Copa Copa 2 days, 9 hours ago.

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  • #735826 Reply
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    Kendranorris

    So here it goes.

    I lived with my mother for 24 years, best years of my life, we have been discussing her plans and she is going back to her homeland to live forever. Although I am happy for her, I will miss her.

    I have a job here and will soon get another(better) job. I will live on my own and be ever so lonely. I want to build a life here but I have few friends I talk to once in a while. I love people and London but I need advice how to build a happy and fun life on my own.

    #735829 Reply
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    Heatherly
    Member

    Ok. It’s time to start making friends & reach out to old ones too, now. Before your mum goes. So that when she does you’ll be less afraid & unsure. So it’s time to start volunteering in a group or charity( examples like helping an animal shelter or homeless charity or …) , so you can do something that makes you feel good and meet like minded people. Join meetup.com & go to a 3/4 of those( or more). Or taking up a sport, going to a dance class/group
    Or finding something you wanted to learn( City Lit is great for this) & go for a drink with them after or ask someone you meet there to meet another time for tea & cake. This isn’t about being perfect, but about expanding your world.

    https://volunteerteam.london.gov.uk/#s

    https://www.meetup.com/cities/gb/17/london/

    https://www.thecut.com/2014/08/ask-polly-how-do-i-make-friends-in-my-late-20s.html

    And this whilst it isn’t exactly your problem is useful read:
    https://captainawkward.com/2011/12/19/question-153-how-do-i-make-and-keep-friends/

    • This reply was modified 4 days, 14 hours ago by avatar Heatherly.
    #735841 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    Heatherly gave great advice. You’ll miss your mom but it is time for you to make a set of good friends.

    #735855 Reply
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    Kendranorris

    Will do. Any advice on how to start a conversation with a guy you like. This may be a guy you suddenly met like stranger

    #735856 Reply
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    Kate

    Smile, eye contact, make a comment about what’s going on around you if you can. Or comment on something he’s wearing, or drinking.

    #735857 Reply
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    Kate

    Or, look at him, look down, look away, look again. He should get it and approach you. This is in a bar or similar.

    #735858 Reply
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    Heatherly
    Member

    https://youtu.be/7_ooSH5TcBg ( making the first move)

    #735901 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Don’t rush into a relationship with a guy. Build a support network of friends first. Get a social life. Build your independent self. Then look to establish a relationship. Romantic love is grand and all but sometimes dating relationships fall apart, you need to have a support system in place to help you manage the ups and downs of life otherwise you’ll be all alone again.

    #735948 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    I think Heatherly gave great advice and I also wanted to add this: I’ve noticed that many people seem to feel uncertain about how to navigate making new friends as adults. In my experience, putting myself out there by inviting someone I don’t know well, but who seems to have friend potential, out on a “friend date” has always proved to be a positive experience even though it can be nerve wracking.

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