This topic contains 29 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by K 2 months, 1 week ago.
- May 17, 2017 at 9:25 am #687140
I could use some outside, unrelated to me opinions on a job matter.
My husband and I are in the process of moving out of NYC, north of the city by about an hour or so. Cost of living will be less. We are also trying to save to buy a house in the next year or two. We may want to have a kid in the next year or two, also.
He is a teacher dually certified to teach special ed and English and currently looking/interviewing for a new job closer to our new apartment. He would like to teach English Language Arts (ELA) and move away from his special ed background. He has two job offers on the table, both of which have some big PROs and some big CONs.
Here are the details:
$73K, with earnings moving to $90K in 3-4 years.
1 hour 15 minute commute minimum, no traffic, one way. Realistically, the drive will be 1 hour 30. Parking is not guaranteed. No easy public transit option.
An enormous, dysfunctional school system. Weak school leadership. Disorganized environment.
It’s for the position he wants (all ELA classes).
He needs to tell the school today if he accepts or not (he was offered the job on Friday)
$59K, and will take another 5-6 years to get to his current salary ($73K). So, a huge paycut with minimal raises each year.
45 minute commute. There really isn’t traffic.
A much smaller district with strong leadership. It’s a highly sought position. Teachers often spend their entire careers at this school. He would teach mostly ELA but it’s a position that also has one section of special ed.
Decline both positions. Continue interviewing.
He just finished the second round at another school, 20 min commute. Waiting to hear if he’s made it to round 3. Unsure of salary at this time.
Also has a first-round phone interview for another school, 25 minutes away, in a county known for its high teacher pay.
I’m the type of person who bases decisions on what will make one the most satisfied/happy professionally. The financial aspect IS important, too, but not the end all and be all. Our combined income would be solidly middle-to-upper-middle class even if he accepted Option B.
I’m of the opinion that he should turn down Option A, take time (a week or two) to consider B while continuing to interview. However, I also know that I have my own blinders (In my mid-to-late 20s I left a career and took a 50% pay cut to be in the industry of my dreams. After almost a decade, I’m now back to where I was salary-wise when I left my previous career. If I had stayed in that career, I would be making about $40K more than I make now…but I don’t really care about that. I’m content with the work I do).
What would you do?May 17, 2017 at 9:38 am #687143
I would say def turn down option A. The money sounds nice, but the situation sounds terrible! Option B sounds great and I agree that he should try to hang on to that while he hears about what will come of his other interviews.
What does he think?May 17, 2017 at 9:40 am #687144
He is really torn. And super disappointed with Option B’s offer (and it’s a non-negotiable one. He tried).
Overall, I think he’s feeling really down about the two offers, and having some big nerves/fears about employment.
May 17, 2017 at 9:50 am #687147
- This reply was modified 3 months ago by TheRascal.
I think the only thing you should do is make it clear to your husband that you’d support his choice. As the one who isn’t going to be working there, the only things that really affect you are commuting time and salary—and you don’t care about salary and don’t seem to have much of a strong opinion about the commute.
All of the other details will affect your husband much more than you. So he really has to decide what’s important, and whether a larger salary for a baby, house, or vacation outweighs other concerns.
(If he’s the type to be miserable at home about a job he doesn’t love, though, you probably want to push him toward option B.)
Don’t wait a couple of weeks and assume the job will still be there, though. I can’t see either school waiting around forever for an answer.May 17, 2017 at 9:50 am #687148
I’d turn down Option A. Three hours each day in the car to get to/from work would be too much for me. Before I moved to my city, I lived in the burbs and my drive was 45 minutes in the morning and usually a little over an hour at night. And I hated it. I was crabby every night when I got home from being stuck in traffic. I’d strongly consider turning down a job for that alone. I’m not a teacher, but learned at my last job that serious organizational dysfunction does not work well for me — when I was job hunting a few months back, I’d already decided that a pay cut would be okay if it meant getting away from that.May 17, 2017 at 9:59 am #687149
I took an 8k pay cut (I live in the midwest so 8K is actually quite a bit of a cut for me) to quit a job that required a 75 minute commute each way because I value my home time too much to continue doing that. I didn’t have time to do anything but drive to work, work, and drive home. Plus it was a job I just didn’t love enough to stay when another offer came along.
I’d personally turn down A and keep interviewing knowing that B is in option.May 17, 2017 at 9:59 am #687150
Thanks, Northern Star, I totally agree with you and I will support whatever decision he makes.
He IS the type, as you point out, that if he is miserable at work he will bring that home with him. So, there is an additional impact that way. He also wants this to be a joint decision, something that we discuss as a team. I’ve laid out all my thoughts to him already about both jobs. My hope is for him to be happy with his job.
He will let the schools know well within the time parameters that they ask (he and I have both worked enough as adults to understand that a job just won’t wait). Option A is asking to know today. Option B just made the offer this morning and I haven’t heard from him when they’d like to know.
Thanks, Copa, for your thoughts. Those are similar to mine, too.May 17, 2017 at 10:08 am #687151
Thanks for your insight, Veritek. That’s a good point about the long commute. It will take up SO much of his time.
He just received a call back from Option B and they said they needed to know by 4 pm TODAY. He is going to talk to them to tell them he needs a few more days (ideally until Monday) before he can make that decision.
I negotiate money/contracts as part of my job and I see the pressure tactic they are using (I have also employed the super-quick time-stamp tactic in my own work). They want to back him into a corner with no other option but to take the low offer.May 17, 2017 at 10:11 am #687152
I used to commute 1.5 hours each way…. it SUCKS!!! And more money in a shitty job doesn’t feel good. I’d personally prefer to take home less money, but be happy in my work, and have a shorter commute so I can be at home with the things and people that I love.
So, if it were me I’d turn down Option A, keep option B on the table and keep interviewing. But I also think Northern Star’s advice was great. Make sure your husband knows that you’ll support him in his choice.May 17, 2017 at 10:20 am #687153
What’s up with these companies expecting lightning fast responses? It’s a big decision! Is this the norm in education? I hated my last company, and felt like I should’ve known how much I’d hate the company when they gave me a single business day to accept or decline my offer, then acted super put out when I counter-offered.May 17, 2017 at 10:20 am #687154
@therascal, welcome to the Mid-Hudson Valley! Not sure exactly where you’re planning on moving to, but I’m in Beacon. I don’t know if you already have a place, but if you have any questions about particular towns, let me know. I’m pretty familiar with most of the area, as I grew up in Westchester and now live in Dutchess County, and spend time recreating in the other counties.
As for the job decision, my boyfriend commutes to NYC via Metro North and it’s 3 hours round trip, a bit more including his walk from Grand Central. It sucks. I would recommend turning down the longer commute in the dysfunctional school system. The shorter commute and less pay would provide a higher quality of life (as long as he likes the job) because time is money, after all. I assume that the shorter commute with no traffic would be heading north or west, and I think that dealing with less traffic is also a huge plus. And of course he could turn both down because it sounds like he may have other options. I know a friend who ended up working for a large, not so great school system in Orange County and she regretted it. I have another friend who teaches in a small, high quality school system in northern Dutchess County and she loves it. Anyway, best of luck to him with whatever he decides!May 17, 2017 at 10:34 am #687155
Thank you so much, everyone. I think it will be nice for him to hear about how much the long commute SUCKS.
Copa, I felt that same way — like WTF, he is in the middle of his TEACHING DAY and has no opportunity to look over our budget. (When I use this tactic, it’s because I’m buying a product, not offering a job, FFS.)
K — BEACON!! We should talk. We are….moving there, ha!! How can we connect? I’ll actually be working in the city three days a week and two at home, so I won’t have to make that trip everyday. But I’m also hoping to use commute time to work on the train (a large part of my job is reading a shit ton).
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