Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

An expensive vacation with her family…

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice An expensive vacation with her family…

This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by avatar Bittergaymark 2 months ago.

Viewing 4 posts - 13 through 16 (of 16 total)
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  • #716946 Reply
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    wobster109

    @Fyodor – I disagree that there’s any social expectation, because my parents do this all the time (though not for the Caribbean). They invite me to stay with them for the holidays, and then they say my SO can come if he wants. They’re not trying to pressure him, but they also don’t want to give the impression that he isn’t welcome, so they basically leave the choice to him.

    #716949 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    When people have money they forget that other people do not have money. I think that’s what’s going on here. The parents have money. They have NO insight into the financial state of the LW. If they did – that would be a whole other letter to deal with. So, I assume that they are assuming that the LW is as solvent as their daughter. It’s entirely likely hey just haven’t even given a moment’s notice that people in their 20’s may not have much disposable cash. So LW you have two choices, you can decline and say that you’re only comfortable paying your own way or you can accept the gift and reframe it not as if you’re getting a hand out but that your gf and her family are giving her the gift of your presence. I have a friend divorced, two kids and is a public school teacher. She has no spare income. I’ve gladly foot the bill for us travel so that I get to see her. If they hold it over your head – then you have more information about who they are and their actual generosity/motivations.

    #716979 Reply
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    SherBear

    Your obsession over things being “fair” and equal would honestly drive me bonkers! Life will never be fair and incomes will never be equal. Let your girlfriend treat you to her family trip and enjoy yourself! As someone who makes pretty good money and who has family money I’d much rather pay for a significant other to come on a trip with me than go without them – it’s not a ploy to gain control or hold it over them later (although if that is a genuine concern that’s a problem). It feels nice to be in a position to treat those that you care about so let her give this gift to you!

    #716982 Reply
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    Bittergaymark

    Yeah, I’d let her pay. Go on the trip. Be gracious and a whole lot of fun to be with. Really — that’s all that is expected of you.

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