- April 18, 2017 at 9:47 am #682433
@veritek33 Yeah, that makes plenty of sense. A lot can change in a year — and people can change in a year — so I think cautiously exploring the possibility works. I think it’s the exception to the rule, but second chances DO work out for some people. I guess I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d have to be PRETTY FREAKIN’ BORED to spend time with just anyone — so I wouldn’t worry too much about him just being bored.
@kate Not expecting to be invited to anything funeral-related. I’m mostly just unsure what I’m supposed to do, or what’s appropriate. I’ve known him for a month, so rushing to his side with a care package in tow seems unnecessary, but I also don’t want to seem cold/indifferent. I told a friend of mine yesterday that I know this isn’t a test, but I still feel like I’m being tested. I think I’m awful at consoling people. (Last serious boyfriend and I started dating about six months out from his mom’s death, and I always felt useless at comforting him when it was needed.) On Saturday, Taco Guy told me how hard the news of hospice care hit him on Friday — it was a stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis, and his uncle had been doing so well at beating the odds that I guess it still felt sudden — and said that after the work day was done, he broke down a cried a bunch. 🙁 And I was just the WORST at thinking of what to say, so I just listened, because I KNOW nothing I say can make this okay. SO, my plan was to offer condolences and then lay low before checking in with him to see how he and his family are doing in a handful of days.April 18, 2017 at 9:53 am #682435
Don’t overthink it. When someone is going through something bad, all you need to say is, how are you doing today?April 18, 2017 at 7:02 pm #682502
Yeah, don’t overthink. It is not a test.April 19, 2017 at 6:16 am #682567
Hey Guys, I’m back! Catching up on this thread. @Copa… I’m really sorry your dude is going through a hard time and I completely understand the feeling of being tested. Everybody needs something different and responds differently when they are going through a difficult time, so there’s no “one” right thing to do. I’m sure you’re not going to mess anything up.April 19, 2017 at 9:15 am #682593
@missdre I opened this thread thinking we’d have a detailed update from you, and we don’t! Hahaha.
Texted a little with Taco Guy this morning before he boarded a flight. He’s still traveling for work this week (three cities in four days), and then funeral stuff starts when he gets back. Sucks that he can’t be with his family right now.April 19, 2017 at 10:00 am #682602
@copa not a whole lot to say other than that he is very kind and thoughtful, that I felt incredibly well cared for and that he is definitely worth the trip. I can’t wait to go back 🙂April 19, 2017 at 10:22 am #682607
That’s a great update Miss Dre 🙂 Glad you had fun
@copa I think you’re doing everything you can. All you can do is offer support and he can reach out if he needs it. This guy I went on the date with Sunday, I’ve had to cancel on him twice due to my father’s health issues and he was very understanding and offered up help if he could do anything. I would have never taken him up on it but it was still a very kind thing to say. We’ve planned a date for Sunday and I’m looking forward to it!April 19, 2017 at 3:54 pm #682648
Yeah, I don’t expect him to take me up on the offer. I feel bad that he lost someone he was close to, and also a little awkward because I’m not sure how much I should even be trying to help. Admittedly, there’s also a little selfishness going on. Things felt like they were moving forward naturally and positively, and now he has a Major Life Thing to deal with.
What are you and Last Summer Guy doing this Sunday, @veritek33?April 20, 2017 at 8:28 am #682780
@copa not sure yet! My small/big town is notorious for everything being closed on Sundays and he’s on call so we might do something in his town that’s alcohol free. The weather is supposed to be nice so I’m open to suggestions! There’s a cool walking/biking trail and lots of ice cream places.April 23, 2017 at 1:10 am #683153
So, my BF broke up with me. Almost three years together. Told me he’s “too stressed out” (with school, family and work) to think about a future with me. I am planning on going into hibernation mode and surviving on ice cream and Netflix. I’ve cried my eyes out.April 23, 2017 at 7:16 am #683174
Ah, shit, I’m sorry. That must feel like hell. I know three years feels like a long time, and it is… but he could have let you hang on for several more years, uncertain about the future. Now, after a little while of feeling awful, you’ll be available to meet a guy who will be on the same page as you.April 23, 2017 at 8:02 am #683177
@ale I’m really sorry 🙁 thoughts are with you. Get your girls together and have a night in with movies and pizza and hugs from your besties.