- May 11, 2017 at 1:19 pm #686584
Time does make it better, but it takes longer than a couple weeks and there needs to be no contact. Give it 60 days and see where you are then.May 11, 2017 at 1:34 pm #686586
A thing that helped me what just accepting where I was at emotionally and logically knowing it would be better. Like, how I would get through a panic attack…yes it feels horrible, yes, there’s no way to make it stop this second, but you’ll be on the other side at some point so you just ride it out. I think it’s a good thing that you are crying and allowing yourself to feel what you are instead of numbing it out with booze, drugs, Tinder dates, sex, cake, etc. It’s more intense to just ride the wave, but you move on better and faster in the end.
Newness is always hard especially when its out of the blue/forced. But the more pieces of your life you do that are new/without him, the more you will feel like you’re moving on.
Stay strong, this too shall pass.May 11, 2017 at 1:38 pm #686587
That’s great advice kmt! I like it.May 11, 2017 at 4:23 pm #686626
Exactly, kmt! Ale: when kmen was going through this with that doucheknocker, we had an impromptu DW meet up. Is anyone from DW in your area? I think you said you were overseas but maybe its time to plan a EuroDW meetup?May 11, 2017 at 7:52 pm #686653
I live in Costa Rica, not Europe. A DW getaway here would be a tropical one, including hot springs, white sand beaches and lots of monkeys.
@kmentthat that is a good advice, I know I will survive and I know I will be better. I’m just afraid of doing something stupid in this time. Thank you all.May 12, 2017 at 4:09 am #686684
Ale, you got this. Similar to what kmt said, I would just try to be patient with yourself. I’m sure you want to just speed ahead to the part where you’re over it (and you’ll get there!) but you guys were together for 3 years. The hurt isn’t going to go away immediately. It’s hard, but try to just recognize that it takes time and it’s totally normal to be down for a while. It’s part of the healing process.
Kmt, that sounds so romantic and lovely! Such a cute detail that he was trying to find the perfect moment for the first I love you.
Banjo and I have been together six months now. I’ve had a lot of 4-5 month relationships that ended because we were arguing all the time… it’s amazing to realize that Banjo and I have never fought or even argued in 6 months. Running our first race together on Sunday and making plans for some summer travel! I’m sure y’all are sick of hearing bout this, but still feeling so happy even if the initial honeymoon giddiness is settling down a bit.May 12, 2017 at 8:02 am #686703
I’ll meet up in Costa Rica. No arm twisting needed.May 12, 2017 at 8:27 am #686704
Just catching up! Ale – I’m so sorry you’re feeling shitty. Kate is right. You WILL get through it and come out feeling better on the other side but yes, it does take time. I know that’s SO frustrating, especially for someone like me. I’m a planner and a do-er, so when the only thing you can really “do” is wait… well that is just so damn hard. But she’s right. Give it 60 days with zero contact and you’ll feel a million times better. We got you!
Lucia – happy to hear that you’re still enjoying your honeymoon phase 🙂
I’m catching a flight back to the UK tonight. Spending 16 days with my boo before I officially start my new job on May 30. I’m not even sure how long we’ve been together?? It’s been 6 months since we met, but only 2 months since we decided to commit to this long distance thing and only 1 month since my first visit to him in the UK. I’m really looking forward to just hanging out and relaxing together for two weeks (although we are hoping to go to France and Italy towards the end of my stay).May 12, 2017 at 9:36 am #686709
Yessss to a DW meet-up in Costa Rica! 🙂 🙂 🙂 (I’ve met enough of you to feel confident that the regulars aren’t insane and literally would plan an international trip with this crowd, hahaha.)
And yeah, Ale, it does suck — a LOT — and everyone here is giving great advice. I haven’t had a long-term or serious relationship in a couple years, which is kinda sad, but also great because I’ve avoided devastating break-ups. However, I do remember the last time I broke up with a long-term and serious boyfriend, it really helped me in the moments where I felt helpless and unhinged to know that I’d gone through a bad break-up before from an even longer-term relationship, and that I made it through that first big break-up a stronger and better person.May 12, 2017 at 9:48 am #686714
Sign me up for the Costa Rican Adventure. We can crossfit together Ale. Then margaritas. Copa is in charge of the booze and I’ll smuggle in chocolate.May 12, 2017 at 9:52 am #686715
I’ll bring the tacos 🙂May 12, 2017 at 10:06 am #686717
I’m not even a part of this thread but I’m in!