Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Anyone going on awesome dates?

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This topic contains 5,625 replies, has 76 voices, and was last updated by avatar TheHizzy 1 day, 3 hours ago.

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  • #693697 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    It’s available at the main branch of the public library, just a few blocks from my office, so I’m gonna go see if I can nab a copy of it momentarily.

    #693700 Reply
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    Kate

    I haven’t read it but I remember Lianne talking about it right before she started dating her husband.

    I think when you’re focused on what you lack, whether it be a relationship or money or anything, then you see your identity as someone who’s lacking. Whereas if you get your mind in a place where you believe you have the things you need, that manifests in your experience. Basically wherever your mind is focused becomes what you experience. You want to fill your thought with those good things so they become your experience. Hence the vision board – it focuses your thoughts.

    #693708 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    Last night I went to a comedy show with a close guy friend of mine (the guy getting a divorce, if Kate or anyone else remembers) that I’d asked him to go to months ago (and of course told my boyfriend about the whole thing), and I told him I was dating someone. It was a little…awkward…because we have always kind of had something between us but I could be waiting years for him to be ready to date me and even then, I have no idea what or even IF anything would actually ever happen.

    So we went to the show, everything was fine, I wasn’t flirty with him as I’ve been in the past of course, and I told him on the way home – it was in the next city over. His divorce was just finalized and I could tell he was kind of taken aback. I don’t feel bad about it, really, but I do feel a little strange. I hope we can still be friends – though I’m sure we will fade away from each other a bit now if my relationship continues to go well. It’s only appropriate.

    My boyfriend & I are going to an animal sanctuary on Sunday (yay for Groupon!) and then to dinner etc, and I’ll probably post pictures on Facebook, so it’ll be our first “public” date I guess. He is involved in a bunch of different social activism groups and he has meetings/events all day tomorrow. I feel really lucky to be with someone who really walks the walk of what he believes in…even if it means he has to calendar out our dates, lol. 🙂

    Anyone else have any fun weekend plans?

    #693712 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Just picked up the book from my library. My foster kitteh barfed up shredded chicken all over my bed last night, so I’m pumped to go home in a few hours so I can start reading it while I do laundry. Haha.

    @theladye I don’t recall this guy’s backstory, but it sounds like someone you had feelings for/he had feelings for you and he just wasn’t in the right place, emotionally, to be dating you? Well, good you’re moving on and hopefully you can be friends. I think it can be hard, though. I have a friend like that, where there’s always been something between us, but I was the one always putting the brakes on things. In we were closer than I would be with a normal friend, because of the *feelings*, but I also felt/feel we’re fundamentally incompatible, so navigating the friendship was a little tricky. I shot him down a couple times, but we’ve stayed friends. He moved away at the end of last year, and now we’re talking about planning trips together because we both want a travel buddy. I’m debating whether or not its a terrible idea to be travel FWB.

    #693713 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    @Copa Yeah, he & I met at work in 2012 and there’s always been something between us but the timing has never been right. He actually married another woman in 2014 and he’s just finalized his (2nd) divorce and now has a 2 year old daughter. We have been going to church together and we’re really close but this is going to change that for sure. I just…I’m trying to believe people when they tell me who they are and he says he never wants to get married again and I do. So. Pretty much torpedoed that last night, anyway.

    Everything is just so much easier with my current boyfriend, though. He asked me to be exclusive with him after 2 weeks and he says often how happy he is that we met and are in each other’s lives. The contrast is so stark it’s just a no-brainer…but I do feel sad if I hurt my friend, y’know? Ugh, complicatedness.

    I totally get exactly what you mean by navigating the friendship. It is tricky! Best of luck on your decision about your friend! 🙂

    #693714 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Oh yeah, it was his second marriage and it was really brief and he had a little kid. I was like, don’t go there. I’m glad you found someone you’re happy about!

    #693728 Reply
    mylaray
    Mylaray

    I’ve been lurking this thread and I want to chime in on the vision board stuff…years ago my therapist had me write a list about what I wanted in a relationship and then what those things meant to me because honestly, saying I want someone to respect me didn’t mean much when I didn’t really define that for myself. I found that list the other night that I made and it none of it is really personality or looks related, just what it looks like to respect me, be compatible, etc, and my husband hits every one of them. Some of them unfolded over time. But I really think creating a vision and “sticking to it” even though it’s most likely subconscious much of the time can go a long way in having the life you want.

    #693732 Reply
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    Cleopatra_30

    So writing in as I was unable to log in, received this message when I tried logging in

    ‘Payment Required

    The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

    Please contact the server administrator at webmaster@dearwendy.com to inform them of the time this error occurred, and the actions you performed just before this error.

    More information about this error may be available in the server error log.”

    @kate and @DearWendy

    #693733 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    Yup, I haven’t had this issue, but Wendy said earlier that other people have and she’s looking into it. Thanks!

    #693734 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    Yep. I got that error on my computer at work and I posted something on today’s first thread. Wendy said she had people working on it.

    #693737 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    Thank you so much, Kate! It’s super early but it’s going great so far 🙂

    #693917 Reply
    veritek33
    veritek33
    Participant

    Update from guy that bailed me last week.

    Texted me at 330 am Friday night and 130 am Saturday letting me know that he’s scared of online dating and scared to meet me. That he’s skeptical because it seems like all he does is “provide free dinner”. I responded to neither message. Texting me a week later, in the middle of the night, under what I presume was the influence of alcohol – not helpful. I thought you folks might enjoy the excuses.

    And he’s 35 – for reference.

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