Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Anyone going on awesome dates?

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This topic contains 5,625 replies, has 76 voices, and was last updated by avatar TheHizzy 2 days, 4 hours ago.

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  • #716507 Reply
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    K

    @Copa is your coworker younger? Is that why he lied, like if she’s say 23 she may think 30 is fine but 33 is too old?

    #716509 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    @K She is younger (23). In the past year or so he has exclusively dated college-aged women, and had a longer relationship with a 20-year-old. So, yeah, my guess is that he doesn’t want that age range to filter him out. I went to happy hour last night determined not to say too much about him to my old co-worker (it’s not my business!), but when she made a comment that happened to mention his age, I broke my rule with an incredulous, “WHAT!? NO! He’s 33!” And then speculated aloud about why. (Oops.) Curious if she’ll ask him about it.

    #716512 Reply
    veritek33
    veritek33
    Participant

    @copa lol I totally hope he gets busted on the age thing. And the beach and dinner date sounds fun!

    I’m meeting up with the dude in a winery town tomorrow and we’re gonna wine hop from winery to winery. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous so it’ll be fun. ALSO, got a call back for a second interview next week!

    Have a good weekend everyone!

    #716524 Reply
    avatar
    Ale
    Member

    @LadyE I’m fine, thanks, much better now.
    I actually had to take some time off from work this week.
    I’ve been freaking out because it’s my ex’s birthday this weekend and I know that he is going to Cancun with his two woman friends. I also heard that he is maybe seeing someone else and I had been feeling like crap so I took a couple days off for my mental health.
    Booked my solo trip which made me feel kind of good, kind of miserable. He has his friends to go on amazing vacations and I have no one, literally no one could take time off to go with me for my birthday. But I’m still trying to change my mentality and see everything in a positive light. I’m meditating more, doing more things on my own and trying not to think about all of this.

    #716604 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    @ale Good to hear from you and I’m glad you’re doing better. I get in cycles like that too. I try to remember that nothing is as perfect as it seems on the outside which I’m sure you know. I hope you have fun on your trip and happy birthday!

    #716621 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    A lot of the times I still feel like I’m 23 until I notice a stark difference in how I’d act vs is 23. My old coworker got sloppy and invited my friend out on Friday. He went and was basically live-texting me the stuff she was saying. She told him he’s perfect and wonderful and beautiful, telling him she’s running out of time to meet someone, and started discussing what the future had in store for them before doing an aboutface and bemoaning that they wouldn’t work out. That was the second time they’d met. Ha. I cringed so hard thinking about how that’s something I might’ve done in college, and I’m so glad I’m not that age anymore. I can’t even imagine how embarrassed I’d be if I did that to a date. I guess even HE told her to stop ascribing qualities to him that she doesn’t know he has.

    One of my oldest friends got engaged last night and I’m happy for her but also feeling a little bummed. Our friendship changed a lot with the entrance of her now-fiancé into her life. We don’t live close anymore but soon after she met him she stopped calling to catch up and after awhile I stopped making the effort, too. I’ve flown out to see her a couple times, she’s never visited me in my city. The only reason we’ve talked recently is because I’ve checked in with her hearing about not the loss of her cat, then her grandma, then making sure she was safe from Irma. Like it’s actually kinda crzy thinking that she has literally no clue what’s been going on in my life the past couple years. I know friendships change as priorities change, but this one has definitely changed the most drastically and been felt most acutely. I *am* happy for her but I also feel a little sad feeling like this engagement is a sign that our friendship will never be that great again.

    #716684 Reply
    veritek33
    veritek33
    Participant

    I have a friend like that Copa. We used to be so close, and then she met her husband and I’m just not…necessary? I found out through facebook that she had a baby, so now I pretty much consider the friendship to be through facebook alone. It’s sad because she was such a good friend before she fell off the face of the earth.

    I wish I had a date update for today, but my date’s father had a heart attack Saturday morning. He actually texted me and said “but I think I can probably still make the date!” And then I explained to him, after my father has had two heart attacks AND open heart surgery, that no – he needed to hang out with his family and make sure dad is okay! (His father is going to be fine, has already been released from hospital.) So, we are rescheduled for later this week!

    #716690 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    @veritek33 Yeah, in one recent conversation she and I had, she told me that when her now-fiance moves (he’s moving out of state and they were planning to do LDR for 1-2 years), she will call me all the time. She said she has no friends where she lives anymore. I don’t want to be her support system because she really hasn’t been there for me. Instead of reassuring her I’d be around, I told her that not having a support system outside of her fiance is a problem and suggested she join a Meetup group.

    Had my date yesterday and it was a lot of fun! We walked around the beach for a bit and had drinks/appetizers nearby, then went back to my places. He was once again a trooper with my energetic and yappy foster dog who demands attention from anyone who comes over. I’d almost forgotten how much I love pillow talk. We swapped travel stories, talked about what we were both like in high school, showed each other scars, and laughed a LOT. The conversation was all over the place but I feel like I know him better. I hope there’s another date!

    #716706 Reply
    hfantods
    hfantods
    Participant

    Lol she said after her husband/fiancé moves then she will call?? Missing the point! But it is sad that you’ve been growing apart, @copa

    Things with Mining Guy (I’ve given him a name!) have been nice. I feel comfortable with him. Want to take this date by date though I want to keep seeing him which is good, haha. I guess my question is as follows. We’ve talked a lot here that when a guy comes on too strong at the beginning it’s a red flag. Mining Guy has told me a couple times during our dates that he likes me and likes spending time with me. He’s told me that I’m cute (k I feel weird typing that). He’s not being overbearing for me. Texts are really manageable.

    I hate to admit as an independent woman that it’s flattering to hear, although I still take it with a grain of salt too. What is the difference between a guy expressing his feelings and the too much too soon red flag behaviour?

    #716709 Reply
    Lianne
    Lianne

    How many dates has it been @hfantods? What he’s saying is not the same as, “let’s be exclusive” after only a handful of dates.

    #716715 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    @hfantods I don’t think that’s worrisome, that sounds like a normal level of interest and there’s nothing wrong with thinking it’s nice to hear, “Hey, I’m enjoying getting to know you!” It’s the ones who are pushy and needy and eager to rush into a relationship.

    #716719 Reply
    avatar
    Ale
    Member

    @Copa I have friends like that too. And I think that is one of the saddest parts of adulthood, growing apart from your friends.

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