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Best friend's husband is a cheater and she has no idea

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This topic contains 52 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by avatar Raisin 6 days, 2 hours ago.

Viewing 5 posts - 49 through 53 (of 53 total)
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  • #735265 Reply
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    Autumnrose
    Member

    @Shanna LW I’m sorry it happened to me too but at the same time it made me who I am today. I can say though my expeirence is not as bad as your friends. That’s why I think you should see where your husband stands on this topic. Your friend will need professional therapy once this is out. Regret, depression, and anger were my biggest emotions. But her MOTHER!! Why!!! Maybe it was an “accident” that they slept together and its eating the husband up with regret. (Wrong regardless) Good luck and if it does ever come out please update….

    #735271 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    Why confess this now? Tobin has shown that he is quite capable of keeping a secret if he wants to so now he doesn’t want to keep it secret. What does he have to gain by confessing now? A divorce and he can still deny having an affair with the MIL. He can use the accusation to look like the poor guy with the crazy wife who will accuse him of anything. He doesn’t need to confess to everyone. He just needs to confess to someone who will pass it along to his wife.

    Why else confess it at all. He could just leave his wife and file for divorce. He isn’t choosing that option. Even if he did have an affair with his MIL he wouldn’t need to confess to leave his wife. The only reason to confess at this point is to cause his wife to experience pain.

    #735274 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    The way I read it, Tobin confessed closer to when the affair with the mother happened. The LW just now found out about it from her husband when she was trying to figure out if Tobin is currently having an affair.

    Regardless, I’m still of the mindset that she shouldn’t divulge this information to her friend since it happened so long ago.

    #735467 Reply
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    Sapphire

    Hey, this response is probably too late and will get lost in the comments. I think you should convince your friend to get tested. Some stds don’t have symptoms and be spread by body fluids and skin through vaginal, anal or oral sex. She can go to a doctor’s office or a health clinic and get tested. If she’s worried about the cost, she can go to Planned Parenthood. They can hook you up with STD testing that fits your budget.

    #735609 Reply
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    Raisin

    Does Tobin know his wife is questioning his fidelity? At this point I’d be annoyed hearing both parties complain about the other. Perhaps it’s time to pose some uncomfortable questions to Tobin and strongly nudge him in the direction of finally making up his damn mind because his wife is getting suspicious. If he decides to end the marriage then your friend never needs t o find out about her mother or this other friend. Get Tobin to pull the plug because it seems your friend can’t do it herself.

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