Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy


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This topic contains 25 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar Franchesa78 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #725818 Reply

    I’m in an unstable relationship. And whenever he is mad, I find out from a block on social media. He hasn’t done this in awhile, but I’m always wondering if he is going to wake up one day and block me because he is mad. Honestly, this relationship is toxic and I’m attached but need to let it go. I’m getting to the point where I don’t care anymore. So I woke up this morning and he blocked me on one social media. Whenever he does this, I immediately react because I want answers. What should I do now?

    #725819 Reply

    Move on with your life.

    #725821 Reply

    Block him and let him go, you recognize this as a bad relationship and toxic so leave it.

    #725822 Reply

    1) Recognize that this is an unhealthy, toxic, unstable relationship.
    2) Recognize that he is actually doing you a favor by blocking you on social media.
    3) Recognize that he has your number and knows how to provoke you.
    4) See step 1.
    5) Block him in all ways (phone, text, social media. Do it permanently.
    6) Get counseling and figure out why you engage in such an unhealthy, toxic, unstable relationship; keep getting counseling.

    Good luck.

    #725825 Reply

    What everyone else said & I’m adding two links to Captain Awkward as two people had a similar problem to you & the steps are useful.

    #725833 Reply
    Carol Evans

    OP, a healthy, mature, stable man would not block you if he was mad, but, rather communicate his feelings to you in a NORMAL matter. No relationship, love, friendship, business, you name it, can be had without communication. This guy sounds like a unhealthy, unstable moron who can only get attention for his little hissy fits by giving the “silent treatment”. This is not the behavior of a real man or someone with a backbone, or even someone you could be friends with. Please reconsider.

    #725836 Reply

    You don’t like him. You are not happy. BUT. You still want to be the one in control. When he blocks you – you go crazy trying to figure out why. AND HE KNOWS THIS. Anytime he senses you pulling away, he throws out the line, hooks you and pulls you right back in.

    You know why he did it this time? Because. No reason. Whatever he can find to bait that damn hook.

    You want to know how to gain your control back and drive him crazy all in one swoop. WALK AWAY. Block him. Ignore him.

    Move on Already.

    #725837 Reply

    Read Ashley’s letter and the responses. Your guy is like her guy. Both are trying to train their ‘gfs’ to be subservient to them, always having to think ‘what can I do to keep him from becoming angry/jealous? What must I do to keep his interest’. It is hard to keep him in attentive bf mode, because he just doesn’t want to make the effort. He values you to the extent he can control you and create a one-way relationship tilted fully toward his needs. The hard truth is that he doesn’t see much special (to him) in you and is willing to take this giving/withholding attention controlling approach with as many women as it takes until he finds one he can groom to devote 100% of her attention to keeping him happy and sort of engaged and avoiding anything which might make him angry or jealous. It is lousy personality/inattention/lack of serious relationship effort as a ploy to get the relationship upper hand, but not a slight upper hand, he craves total dominance. You need to realize than you can never have a healthy relationship with this man, just MOA. He doesn’t do healthy relationships.

    #725840 Reply

    @Ron – I now am picturing this guy in a one piece Utili-suit in his evil lair at a console filled with randomly blinking lights demanding “total dominance”! Thank you.

    #725843 Reply

    You all are so right. It’s so unhealthy and making my life worse. I actually dated this guy about two years ago and we took a 10 month break where I healed myself! I moved on and stayed away from him. And then relapsed. So I know how good it feels being out of this toxic relationship, I just feel attached and stuck. But you are all right. I need to decide for myself when enough is enough. He owes me a good amount of money so should I just forget about that as well?

    Thanks all.

    #725844 Reply

    Sounds like you recognize this isn’t normal or healthy, which is a great start. If you want answers to why he blocks you, it’s because he’s immature and likely a bit controlling (he continues to do this because it gets a rise out of you every single time). Everyone else is right that you need to move on, but since you seem to know this but can’t quite get there, I’d recommend starting with therapy. A trained professional can help you break the habit.

    #725845 Reply

    You guys are all so right. It’s up to me to decide when enough is enough. I actually dated this guy about two years ago and when we broke up- I stayed away from him for ten months. I healed myself and moved on! And now I relapsed thinking it will be different this time around but it is a lot worse. He owes me a good amount of money, so should I forget about that as well? I keep re-reading all theee posts because I want to find the strength to finally move on and stay gone.

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