Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Boy wants to meet

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar Alee 2 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #728229 Reply
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    Alee

    So I met this guy through snap chat. He was cute, but I already knew I wasn’t interested. Well he kept messaging me about how he thought I was cute. So I played along and would snap chat him back. And flirt. Which I know I shouldn’t have. So he then got my number which I gave him. I don’t know why I did that. He kept saying we should meet. And I would say yeah for sure, but not setting a day or anything. (I realize this is all my fault) Anyways one day he tried calling me and I didn’t answer and then he messaged me on snap chat that he wants to get to know me and I think he wants to hookup. Which I’m not going to do. So I was again super stupid and decided since I don’t know him just to block him on everything. So I do that and he messages me on his friends phone about how I’m so rude, and how he only wanted to get to know me. I messaged back and said how I was sorry and just freaked out and blocked him. He seemed to accept my apology. Now he is really trying to set a day to meet. And I don’t want to but feel I have to now. What do I do?

    #728230 Reply
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    Chelsea

    No one should force you to do something you don’t want to do. He’s being controlling and you haven’t met yet. What do you hope to gain by meeting him? He’s going to be controlling in rl too but worse probably. You can flirt with people without being compelled to have any type of future relationships with them. You can say no at any point. Don’t let him make feel guilty. That’s not a good guy or a good reason to meet someone.

    #728231 Reply
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    Ruby Thursday

    Turn your phone off. Or at least delete Snapchat.

    #728235 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    You are allowed to block anyone you want to block. When he pushes to meet in real life tell him no. He obviously feels that you have no right to block him but you do. Tell him you don’t want to get together. If you do give in and meet in real life then he will push you to do other things like hook up. Draw the line at meeting, don’t meet in real life so you don’t have to say no to a hookup. You are the only person who can set boundaries for yourself. Protect yourself from pushy, demanding people by saying no. You have every right to say no to anything you don’t want to do. Don’t let yourself be pushed into agreeing to something you don’t want.

    In the future draw the line sooner because it makes your life easier but you can do draw that line at any time. Just because he wants to get to know you doesn’t mean you owe it to him to get to know him. When he calls you when you have blocked him he is refusing to accept that you have the right to say no. That is a huge red flag. Avoid this guy.

    #728253 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    YOU DON’T HAVE TO MEET HIM. You know what’s going to happen if you do. He’s going to pressure you into having sex with him. And honestly, the way you’ve reacted to this whole snapchat thing, I’m afraid you wouldn’t stand up to him. He’s gonna be all, “You owe me this, because you flirted with me and then blocked me.” And you’ll feel guilty, like you did when he harassed you for blocking him, and you’ll give in to him. And if you don’t give in, maybe he’ll force you. You don’t even know this guy.

    Please hear what we’re all telling you. You did nothing wrong by flirting, and you did nothing wrong by blocking him. It wasn’t super stupid to block him, it was exactly the right thing to do when the situation made you uncomfortable. The fact that he used a friend’s phone to get to you after you blocked him is a really, really bad sign.

    You get to say when you stop talking to someone. You get to say when a situation makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe this guy ANYTHING. Block his friend’s number and never, ever contact him again.

    #728261 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Please take this as an opportunity to learn some strategies for setting boundaries and saying no! You don’t have to talk, flirt, meet with anyone you don’t want to. Tell this guy you’re not interested and are blocking him. Then do it.

    #728291 Reply
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    Alee

    Hey thanks everyone for your help! Honestly I feel better knowing that others think I shouldn’t meet him. I’ll take this as a learning lesson. Thanks!

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