Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Conflicted Romantic

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This topic contains 17 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar Aaron 3 months ago.

Viewing 6 posts - 13 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • #697922 Reply
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    Aaron
    Member

    Essie,

    Yeah I know it’s complicated. I genuinely tried to convey what is going on as best as possible. We Dated when we were pretty young. I was 19 and she was 18. The reason we broke up is sort of irrelevant. We just ended up going down two separate paths as we got older, and just saw that we weren’t the most compatible at the time. Like I said, we have stayed friends.

    You do make a good point though. Perhaps some old feelings just got stirred up that night, and I am jumping into things too quickly. Truthfully, I don’t know what I want. I thought I wanted to be in a exclusive relationship, but perhaps I am getting caught up in the whirl wind of it all.

    #697931 Reply
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    Aaron
    Member

    Ron,

    You make a lot of good points. Truthfully, I don’t know where she sees this going. I think one of the things that has become evident to me after reading responses for various people is the incredible amount of confusion, and the need to have a proper discussion.

    #697935 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, I would have a “where do you see this going” conversation, preferably not via text, and the outcome should probably be that since neither of you really know what you want right now, it’s not the right time to commit to being exclusive, but maybe it makes sense to revisit this in a few months or something.

    #697937 Reply
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    Aaron
    Member

    I think you are right. Thanks everyone for your advice! I feel like I have more clarity about what I should. I appreciate your kindness.

    #697938 Reply
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    Leslie Joan

    It seems to me, as best I can understand, that there was always a good connection between the two of you, and a lot of feelings just got stirred up freshly again. It seems as though neither of you is really in a position to be pursuing a serious relationship with each other. My sense is that you both wanted to treat it like the special and important event that it was, and not to treat it like a casual flirtation. But the reality for you both is still such that there are good reasons you both can’t really pursue a serious relationship with each other now, and neither of you needs the pressure and the expectations. It’s okay to acknowledge both that those special feelings are there, AND that you both aren’t in a position to do much about it. It doesn’t devalue either one of you. You need to sort through your own conflicts and depression, not to place more demands on either one of you.

    #697942 Reply
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    Aaron
    Member

    Leslie,

    Thank You! That was right on the money.

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