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Dear Wendy

Controlling “Best” Friend

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar LisforLeslie 2 months ago.

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  • #726859 Reply
    Kairy Lamenta

    So when we moved in together everything was dandy.

    Until 2 years ago when I started looking for a boyfriend.
    I’m 23 and have been single for a long time.(since freshman year of high school)

    So yesterday we went to dinner and I was telling her about a guy I liked at work.(he works for a different department)
    She discouraged it and said “she would out me to everybody”.
    Now I don’t know what she means by that but it didn’t seem like I was doing anything wrong.

    In the past she’s takin my phone and went through it and gets mad at me about the guys on tinder.
    Sue wouldn’t ever let me even touch her phone.

    I want to stay friends but she brings up so much from my past that i dont want to talk about infront of others.

    Its getting to the point that i do t really see a way out.
    We live together and I cant just leave, but she threatens to all the time.

    What should I do? Im stuck and just very unhappy.
    Not to mention she wont do anything to better the house she doesn’t even clean up after her self…

    #726862 Reply

    You’re only stuck if you decide to be. She sounds awful. When your lease is up move out and move on from this ‘friendship’ that frankly, sounds abusive. Start reading about and practicing assertiveness techniques. There’s no reason to put up with this nonsense.

    #726864 Reply

    I think you’d benefit from scrolling through & reading Captain Awkward’s archives under the tags friends, boundaries & control. You need to move on & start making plans to move out. Also start looking for better friends at something like

    #726868 Reply

    Move when you can. Until then, set boundaries. Don’t give her your phone when she asks to see it. Don’t tell her personal info about your life. If she starts acting obnoxious, leave the room.

    #726877 Reply
    Ruby Thursday

    Change the password on your phone. The more complicated, the better.

    #726999 Reply

    Yup – she sounds pretty single white female crazy. If you get a partner, she might no longer be the most important person in your life. When possible, find a new place to live, preferably alone so there is no option of having a roommate. Second the Captain Awkward scripts to start preparing to give her African Violets.

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