- April 19, 2017 at 10:55 pm #682724
For those of you who read Ask A Manager (I’ve been reading it every day for a year or so because of hearing about it on DW), did y’all see this post today: http://www.askamanager.org/2017/04/i-accidentally-insulted-my-bosss-daughter.html
It’s crazypants. I mean, I’m actually not all that surprised, living in the South and having experienced extreme levels of conservative Christianity (though not that conservative myself obviously!), but …wow. Just wow.
I hope the OP of that post reads all the comments and does some serious self-reflection. I grew up in a Christian, somewhat sheltered household, but I can’t imagine being in my late 20s and thinking this is OK on any level to say to my boss or anyone. Wow.April 19, 2017 at 11:51 pm #682728
Oh, my GOD.
What kind of thought process would lead to those words coming out of her mouth? In the office? To her boss? Speaking about his child?
I worked on a pretty casual software development team. We all knew each other for 10+ years, so we were very comfortable with each other. We dropped our share of f-bombs. I do not remember that word ever coming out of anyone’s mouth in the office.
How do you recover from that? There’s no apology that could make that go away.April 20, 2017 at 6:34 am #682761
Did an absolute jaw drop/ eye bug. That letter writer came across as so unbelievably judgmental and clueless at the same time. I really don’t see how you recover from that gaffe.
My opinion was that she was trying to justify what she said by claiming it was her upbringing.
Yeah, no.April 20, 2017 at 6:39 am #682763
Hoooooo boy, time to find another job. The boss was being inappropriate and gross himself, but calling his daughter a whore is not recoverable.April 20, 2017 at 7:22 am #682765
I am in SHOCK that that came out of anyone’s mouth at work. And I work in a pretty lax environment where swearing is totally the norm. Slut-shaming and demeaning another colleague’s – boss or not – child is SO out of the norm for ANY environment…I literally can’t fathom how this seemed like an okay statement to make in her mind. All I can gather is that she was emotionally abused by her very conservative parents and that word was used A LOT in her house.April 20, 2017 at 8:00 am #682771
I have zero empathy for this girl. I mean, yes, her boss was being at best kind of weird, and at worst a bit skeevy, and I can see why she’d be uncomfortable, but that response was so far out of line and displays such a shocking lack of social awareness as well as insane levels of harsh judgmental righteous indignation that as a fellow working woman I’m kind of offended that she got the chance to work in a Fortune 500 company at all.
The worst part, for me, is that it took her SEVERAL HOURS to realize what she’d done (and not even to an appropriate level IMO) and then was surprised that her boss is now acting “standoffish”. At least she wrote to AAM and hopefully the comments will help her see what a huge issue it is and she’ll do some serious self-reflection which she obviously needs.
I haven’t been able to look away from the comments section.April 20, 2017 at 8:09 am #682772
Verbal diarrhea right there.April 20, 2017 at 8:09 am #682773
“At worst a bit skeevy,” I’d say at worst getting into sexual harassment territory.
I agree about the LW though.April 20, 2017 at 8:26 am #682776
I got the impression that she actually thinks this way. That she was raised to believe that girls who want to date are whores. That’s what it sounds like from her description of her upbringing. And that would explain why she thought it was a normal thing to say and why it took her hours to figure out there was something wrong with it – I bet she heard it a lot growing up.
Still. How do you get to be an adult and not realize that calling someone a whore is an insult (whether you believe it to be true or not), and that maybe you shouldn’t be insulting your boss’ child? It’s bad enough that she seems to truly think the girl’s a whore, but to think it’s ok to say it? That’s some next-level naiveté. I feel sorry for her for having what was apparently a really messed-up upbringing, and she seems really sheltered, but any amount of introspection would lead you to the conclusion of “don’t insult your boss’ kid”. Come on.
Also yeah, the boss is super gross.April 20, 2017 at 8:27 am #682778
@kate, yeah, you’re right. The thing is, if she hadn’t responded this way, all eyes would be on the boss’s inappropriateness.April 20, 2017 at 8:29 am #682781
I know, she gave up any options she had for dealing with it by dropping the whore bomb. She’s totally wrong.April 20, 2017 at 8:51 am #682786
Ew. This reminds me of a time when I was getting my car serviced at the dealership and while I was waiting, I was chatting with one of the owners (back in the day I used to work for a used car paper, and they were a client so I knew them well enough to chit chat with). He was going on about how hot his step-daughter is and that she’s 16 and totally bang-able. He was telling me the advice he was giving her was to have as much teenage sex as possible, I am not even kidding. That he was supplying her with condoms and such, and that sex at that young age is the best. I was just…speechless. I felt sick to my stomach when I left and I avoided him ever since and took my car elsewhere after that. Sick. Needless to say, I heard a few months later his wife left him. Good.