Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Dating app location

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This topic contains 25 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar Jen 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 26 total)
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  • #693885 Reply

    I really don’t know. It’s only been 3 dates and you’re not exclusive, so where he is isn’t really your business. If he was outright lying to you, like if he said he was going home but then you saw he was, say, 3 hours from home, that’s maybe a little more your business, but still, if he had another date or something, he shouldn’t tell you. In this case, if there’s no possible way he could be where it said, then either something is wonky with the location feature, or he’s lying to someone else, maybe. Neither of which are your problem. If you like him and see no other flags, keep dating him.

    #693888 Reply

    One time a long while ago I got matched with someone 10 miles away. They were across the ocean! The app had a glitch for a few hours thinking we were on the same area. He hadn’t been to the states and I hadn’t been to Australia.

    You’re thinking too much about this. Don’t seek out something wrong, let it flow. if it’s right it will be. If he’s lying, it’ll come up without you having to search.

    #693898 Reply
    Northern Star

    Maybe he went to the trouble of spoofing his location so randos can’t track his every move via a silly dating app.

    You could ask—but then you’d have to explain why you were tracking this guy (and to be honest, your excuse is super flimsy).

    #693900 Reply

    Random story like @thehizzy – Once I was in bed messing around on FB messenger. Messenger said my boyfriend was currently online/active. He was asleep in bed beside me and had been for like an hour, phone untouched on the night stand. So yeah, apps are weird sometimes.

    #693909 Reply

    DW won’t let me login, I keep getting an error.

    LW, even with my location services turned on , some of the dating apps I have used would say that I was 5 hours away from my current location. It happens often, I would not think too much of it honestly.

    #693914 Reply

    So there are multiple ways the app could be getting a location. The first is by his phone providing location data. However, sometimes sites will extract a location from your IP address and this is highly unreliable. There have been articles written about people whose houses have been raided a bunch of times because there’s some sort of default physical address for some internet provider that is their home address.

    At my old job if you were logged in at work or on the VPN, or even using office wifi, regardless of where you were, Google would report you as being in the city of the home office, since that’s where the network traffic exited the company.

    Finally, back in my single days, it wasn’t unusual for people to have a “city A” profile and explain in the body of the profile that they lived in city B but traveled to city A for work.

    #693915 Reply

    In my experience, dating app locations do tend to be accurate. It may be a glitch, or he may be in the city the app says he’s in. That said, your reaction to this seems weird. Not wanting to text him while he’s driving honestly reads like an excuse for checking up on him. You can never know with absolute certainty what someone is doing when you text them unless you’re physically with them. You’ve been on three dates, you’re not exclusive, he doesn’t owe you explanations about where he is and why. Gotta chill.

    As a general rule of thumb, you should try not to check up on profiles of guys you’ve met online. I went on a handful of dates with a guy around the holidays, and during that time I was still using the app trying to meet other men. At some point, I noticed that he’d updated his profile picture. And so I started checking on his profile. (I was unconcerned with his location at any given point in time, but when I noticed his photo update, he was in Thailand on a business trip. Location on the app was accurate.) Anyway, I was doing myself absolutely no favors by checking to see if he’d updated his profile again. I’d recommend you stop as well. It can be easy to get sucked into it, but you’ll drive yourself batshit crazy.

    #693918 Reply

    I can finally log in again!

    Anyway, WES. I tend to overthink or overanalyze everything. Worrying come easily to me. Since I know this about myself, I don’t allow myself to go down the rabbit hole of checking in on people through social media platforms or apps or whatever. It causes undue stress.

    I would chill. As evidenced here, there could be many different reasons for the discrepancy. I’d chill and not read too much into it, especially since you’ve only been on three dates and haven’t established exclusivity. If you like the guy, give him a fair shake.

    #693969 Reply

    Yeah I wouldn’t think too much of it either. My phone thinks I’m in my state’s capital which is a two day drive from where I live and it has said that for several months now.

    However I’m sure you’re worried he’s got a wife and kids stashed away somewhere so see if you can do a sleepover at his house sometime. That should help answer your question.

    #693970 Reply

    Why I don’t “friend” people I date or online “stalk” them. Everything is misinterpreted easily this way. 15 years and I have never been friends with my ex on any social media. P

    #694430 Reply

    My phone often thinks I’m at LAX despite living nowhere near the west coast in a completely different country. So I’m going to guess maybe his location settings are wonky too , that or he has a secret family he’s hiding from you.

    #694803 Reply

    I have my phone read all my texts out loud so that when I’m driving I know what was being said. I reply when I get to my destination usually.

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