Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Distancing boyfriend?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by avatar Essie 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #686920 Reply
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    Melissa

    Hey everyone,

    I need some advice. I have been seeing this guy for 5 months. He isn’t 10 years older than me and has an 8 year old son. In the beginning of our relationship, he would plan dates, take me out for dinner or to a bar to grab a drink. He would send me cute texts every day with loving things. He introduced me to his son early on, who lives 2 hours away and I have been to 8 baseball games. I have also spent a major holiday out of town with them too. My boyfriend have me a house key about a month ago.
    Long story short, we both work full time jobs. We both have stressful jobs. In the last couple months, he stopped taking me out in town (we always alternated paying the bill, so it was fair). I started taking dinner to his place andand spending more time over there.
    He used to ask me to stay the night. In the last couple weeks, he hasn’t seemed interested in me at all. He isn’t intimate and doesn’t really seem like he wants me around. I have given him space, we went 4 days without seeing each other. I know that he is an independent person and so am I, but the shift is weird. What do I do?
    Is he slowly shifting me out so we can be done, or do you think he has a lot going on.

    #686942 Reply
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    Fyodor

    Is this the same lady who deleted her post about the airline pilot?

    #686943 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    You should talk to him about it. Say that you enjoy spending time with him, and you’ve noticed in the past few weeks he seems to prefer to be alone, and is everything ok? Where is his head at with you two? You felt like it was moving along nicely and were happy with that, but lately you’re not sure.

    Frankly, it does sound like it started off at a fast pace and has now fizzled. I feel like introducing you to his son so soon, taking you to a bunch of his ball games, and having you go on vacation with them is kind of weird and confusing. At just a couple of months in, it’s too early for you to start taking on that family kind of role. Maybe he’s kind of inexperienced (if he’s recently separated or divorced) and doesn’t really know how to do casual dating. And now maybe he’s not into it anymore but doesn’t know how to talk about it or what to do.

    You should talk to him. If he says nothing’s going on but continues to be distant and not want to be intimate, you’ll need to take the initiative to end it.

    #686944 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    @Fyodor, no, it’s not, and that lady didn’t delete her post, I did. She’s a special girl who’s been posting on at least a weekly basis about the same guy for years under different names and with different details. I didn’t notice it last night.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by avatar Kate.
    #686955 Reply
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    Fyodor

    As the song goes, he loved you yesterday but yesterday’s gone.

    #686959 Reply

    Distancing @ 5 months?

    He’s over the relationship, so MOA.

    #686967 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    I’m sorry, it sounds to me like he’s got his eye on someone else. Or has just lost interest.

    And for the future, a guy wanting to introduce you to his kid and family a few months in, not to mention taking you on a family vacation that soon…no. Red flags a-flyin’.

    It’s easy to think that means he thinks you’re the love of his life. It doesn’t. It’s infatuation, that burns fast and burns out.

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