Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Don't know who to believe

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Don't know who to believe

This topic contains 21 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Ron 1 week, 2 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 22 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #734678 Reply
    avatar
    Grleorginasees

    I started a new job a year ago. My other colleague started 2 weeks after me. I made few mistakes whilst she did quite well. My manager needed someone to become a staff rep, out of us two, he decided to give her the position. Since then I learnt from my mistakes and tried to succeed. On Christmas day I was working and another senior colleague came to (out of no where) and said ‘the manager highly likes you above the other colleague because she undermines the manager and is very controlling, he also wants to upgrade your position’. At first i did not believe this but my colleague promised on his life. But ever since he has said this I have overheard my manager talking about me to the other colleague and I have even walked in on them talking about me in a nasty way. But I did not say anything. My manager hardly talks to me, we only have small conversation. He is hard to read and I can see he does not rate me and sees me as a liability. I work hard everyday but my performance is not seen by the most important person in the company. What shall I do. Help.

    #734684 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I think you should read some articles about how to talk to your boss about performance, promotions, raises, etc. You don’t just sit and wait and try to read tea leaves. Start with askamanager.org.

    Ftr, I doubt your co worker knows what he’s talking about, but maybe.

    #734688 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    +1 for askamanager.org and what Kate said. It’s better to be proactive in working with your manager to address performance issues and/or set goals for your professional development. If you really think your manager sees you as a liability that’s a big problem and you should be looking for another job.

    #734689 Reply
    avatar
    Grleorginasees

    I just don’t know who is loyal or genuine. Time and experience has taught me to trust no1 and look out for myself in the workplace. My kindness is usually seen as weakness. I have already starting looking for job.

    #734690 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    Also, it’s really really not normal to continually overhear your boss saying nasty things about you to other colleagues, or disparaging you at all. That’s toxic, and you should be open to trying to get out of there. Your boss should give you constructive feedback during reviews and when it’s warranted, but should not be talking shit about you so you overhear. That’s so weird.

    #734691 Reply
    avatar
    Grleorginasees

    If I question him about this I feel it will get worse and everyone will turn against me. I need to know how to deal with him in a daily basis without having to question his behaviour towards me. Btw my manager bad mouths everyone and is sugar and sweet to their face. He’s weird. I want him to value me as a person and employer. I know deep down he dislikes me but i work my butt off and yet he never appreciates me. I will quit soon and go somewhere where im appreciated. I had it with him i try and try yet he continues to ignore me. 2018 is my year full stop.

    #734692 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    I’m not telling you to question him. I’m telling you to read up on how to talk to your boss about how you’re performing, your goals, and promotions and raises. You should be taking the reins here, to guide your own career, not waiting around to see what your wacky boss will do next.

    #734693 Reply
    avatar
    Grleorginasees

    No point talking to him. He usually shuts down everything I say. I feel like I’m walking in egg shells. Enough is enough. If he doesn’t value now when I’m performing and working hard. He will will never see my strengths. I’m tired and getting older. I’m done with him and ever disloyal colleague.

    #734694 Reply
    avatar
    Grleorginasees

    I will be applying for jobs and hopping for the best.

    #734697 Reply
    avatar
    dinoceros
    Member

    Yeah, I mean, if you have nothing positive to say about your job or your boss, then I’m not sure what there is to do besides find another job.

    #734702 Reply
    avatar
    ron

    Based on your responses it seems you aren’t seeking help on your job, after all. You’ve decided to apply for a new job, which is wise. Btw, this seems almost identical to a recent LW. Same person?

    #734703 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Similar, but apparently not same person. There have been a lot of these lately though.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 22 total)
Reply To: Don't know who to believe
Your information:




Comments on this entry are closed.