This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by katkc 5 days, 6 hours ago.
January 9, 2018 at 2:05 pm #735387
I’m confused and I hope someone can give me some advice. My husband has a friend, “Jack”, and he has a son, “Sam”, who is 24. A few weeks ago, Sam sent me a friend request, which I accepted, and then private messaged me on Facebook asking how my holidays were. I responded and asked how his were and he said they were good. Then another message after New Years asking how it was and then a few days later a friendship poem the said “Merry Christmas to my female” at the bottom. Since then there are messages every couple of days that say “Good Morning”, how is your day going, things like that. And he commented on a picture of me from back in March, so he seems to be scrolling through my profile. Some background, I am a 50 year old woman, and while my husband and I are good friends with Jack, we only see Sam every year or two and it’s just friendly conversation. And I haven’t seen him in over a year so I’m not sure where this is coming from.
I just can’t figure out why his keeps messaging or what he wants. It’s not unusual for me to get attention from younger men so the obvious I guess is something like that, but none of the messages are inappropriate and I worry that something could be wrong and he’s reaching out, I just don’t know. It just feels off that he is sending these messages regularly like we have a relationship. But I care about him, especially since he is Jack’s son, so I don’t want to blow him off. Is this normal for people his age? I don’t message on Facebook much so I didn’t know. And is it usual to message someone so much older that you don’t know that well? My husband wants to mention it to Jack, but although I love Jack, Sam has always been a little different and Jack doesn’t always handle him in a sensitive way. Anyone have any ideas?January 9, 2018 at 2:44 pm #735400
You and your husband don’t have to bring Jack into it. Address it with Sam directly and tell him that you find the messages inappropriate for the reasons you stated here. And maybe throw in that he shouldn’t be calling any female “my female” but especially not one he’s not in a romantic relationship with.January 9, 2018 at 8:36 pm #735457
Ghost him… Ish. He sends you a message? Respond a month later. Change your settings so he can’t see when you are online. If questioned just say you barely check messages. I had to do this with a guy from high school. Innocuous messages but all the time. He was talking to me more than he ever did in high school. Just annoying really. Anytime I opened Facebook he would message me. And I had nothing to say to him. I just blocked him so he couldn’t see me online and I’d just respond weeks later. Worked for me.January 9, 2018 at 8:55 pm #735458
I’d probably stop responding. You were asking what the norms are for people his age on social media, and I would say that while ignoring him might seem super rude to you, there’s a lot of young people who accidentally ignore people all the time. I have friends who are not trying to avoid me, but will barely respond to texts (mine or other people’s). It’s not a big deal to ignore him, and he’ll eventually go away.January 12, 2018 at 12:47 pm #735707
Thanks for the advice, this helps. I would have stopped responding a long time ago if not for the fact that he is Jack’s son, didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But based on what you are saying, it may not be that big a deal. Thanks!