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Dear Wendy

From Captain Awkward – woman's husband is dating her mom, but there's more!

Home Forums General Chat From Captain Awkward – woman's husband is dating her mom, but there's more!

This topic contains 13 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #693576 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    In addition to DW, I also read Ask a Manager and Captain Awkward daily. This column was just posted today: https://captainawkward.com/2017/07/13/992-my-husband-is-dating-my-mom/#more-36577.

    I would love to hear what Wendy & others here would say if this LW wrote in! I mean, wow. CA is so nice in comparison to what I think should be said to this woman.

    #693579 Reply
    avatar
    K

    Wow. What her husband and mom are doing is incredibly shitty. But, she’s also been pretty darn shitty to her husband. And her getting help for her alcoholism seems like it should be at the top of the list. Although she apparently doesn’t think she needs help for it.

    #693581 Reply
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    MissDre

    That shit can’t be real lol. Who describes themselves that way?

    “I have started stalking them, sitting in the car down the street from our house, drinking vodka from the bottle, and watching them come out hand in hand…”

    Sounds like somebody is writing a novel. Perhaps another Girl on the Train…

    #693584 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Jesus. CA’s answer was so long and rambling, I didn’t read the whole thing, but it seemed like maybe it missed the point that this woman is a complete toxic mess who isn’t even functioning, and her mental problems caused her to seek out a relationship that doesn’t function, and just to make sure, she blew it up with what are called “major betrayals,” and then her husband went nuclear with the ultimate betrayal and GET TREATMENT. Check yourself into a facility.

    #693585 Reply
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    Miss MJ

    It’s not often that I read a letter and (1) hope it is fake and (2) find everyone involved repulsive. But here we are. Amazing.

    #693587 Reply
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    RedRoverRedRover

    CA went easy on her, sure, but I think that’s probably because she can see that the LW is a complete mess and frankly at risk for her life.

    The mother/husband thing is obviously crazy and horrible. But it sounds to me like the LW had completely checked out of the marriage before that. She lives with someone else and spends her days drunk/drinking. She obviously hasn’t been home often enough to even notice that her mom’s stuff was there, which tells me she’s not really in contact with her husband. It sounds like SHE abandoned the marriage. If he’d moved on with any other woman, I’d be like, well yeah. What did you expect him to do? You left. That he moved on with her mom makes it more of a betrayal, but still. He may not have felt like he needed to give her any kind of a heads-up, since she doesn’t seem to have bothered being part of their marriage at all. She didn’t really deserve one from him. The bigger betrayal is the mom, really, presuming she and LW have any kind of relationship.

    Also didn’t we have another DW letter where the husband slept with the mom?

    #693590 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    The LW sent me the same letter. I think it’s fake.

    #693591 Reply
    bittergaymark
    bittergaymark

    Eh, they probably were brought together by what an awful fucking mess the LW is. Sorry, but she sounds like bad news. I really don’t blame the mother or the husband… They moved on… from HER… together. Oh, well.
    .
    NEWSFLASH: if you want your marriage work don’t drink yourself into oblivion each and every fucking all the while become a bloated unattractive mess before you even hit 40. *Notice, I didn’t even touch the sleeping around aspect as they are in an open marriage and so to me that is irrelevant.
    .
    But the LW moved out… and how exactly she is surprised that her husband moved on is beyond me.
    .
    Okay, okay. I get it. IT’S HER MOTHER… eh, but whatever. This marriage was dead LONG ago. Killed by not by BOOZE. But you. You can blame your husband all you like. Your mother, too, LW. You can even blame the booze. But really? At the end of the day, it’s the LW that did this to herself. Until she gets a handle on that she is LOST.
    .
    Sorry. Team Husband and Mother on this one.

    #693592 Reply
    bittergaymark
    bittergaymark

    I agree. Reads FAKE.

    #693627 Reply

    I can’t even. When she said, ‘I drink a lot but that’s not my problem…’ I couldn’t read anymore because I couldn’t risk my head exploding all over my computer.

    #693657 Reply
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    Ange

    I agree it’s fake. Reads like shitty pulp fiction and it’s suspiciously well written if the author is such a mess.

    #693699 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    To me it reads delusional: I know I drink a lot but I don’t have a problem.

    The thing is: I can absolutely see this as real. I’ve had enough crazy in my life that I can believe this is happening. It takes ridiculous personalities but we’ve heard all of these elements before:

    My mom flirts with my husband
    My sister flirts with my husband and he loves it
    My boyfriend might be sleeping with his sister
    I treated my husband like crap and so he moved on and now I want him back

    So I can see a situation in which someone is so freaking lost that they don’t see that they are drowning. And I can see where a narcissistic parent would cross a boundary that is so cringe inducing that it seems fake. And I can see where an abandoned partner is angry and making really really really bad decisions partly out of anger and partly out of desperation.

    If not true – ok. If true… damn.

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