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Dear Wendy

Getting Pregnant

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This topic contains 40 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar mertlej 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 41 total)
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  • #628879 Reply
    freckles
    freckles
    Participant

    My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months now. And that’s 6 months of knowing when I’m ovulating and having good timing. And still nothing has happened yet. I know my doctor (and most things online) said at my age (I’m 30) to wait a year before you go to the doctor to see if there’s a problem. But I’m already frustrated. It doesn’t help that two of my best friends got pregnant literally the first month they tried, and my other two good friends got pregnant after only 3 (which I think is average). Which just makes it harder that it’s taking me longer.

    I’m starting to wonder if something is wrong, and I’m stressing out about it (which I know doesn’t help). I’m also just sad that it hasn’t happened yet, while my friends are getting to celebrate their pregnancies and start planning for their babies with their husbands.

    I’m debating going to the doctor sooner rather than waiting a year, because I read in a few places that the second 6 months doesn’t actually make that much of a difference (as in, if you don’t get pregnant in the first 6 months, statistically most people won’t get pregnant in the second 6 months). Plus I’ve had problems with pelvic pain for years, and I’m wondering if that could be contributing to it – maybe endometriosis?

    Anyway, I could just use some happy thoughts. Or someone to tell me that no, really, 6 months isn’t a big deal. Or stories of people that successfully got pregnant after 6 months.

    #628880 Reply
    freckles
    freckles
    Participant

    wishing i had a baby bump

    #628885 Reply
    avatar
    Anonymousse

    Have you gone to your OB for a “I’m planning to get pregnant and check me out” appointment? I think you should just for your own peace of mind.

    #628886 Reply
    FireStar
    Firestar

    6 months is no time!
    But I’ll admit I’m type A – I went to the doctor when I wanted to get pregnant. I felt I didn’t want to wait the year so I went I think after 1 month of trying and expedited the process. I had to pay for the drugs they gave me and had to have the lovely internal ultrasounds and all the parts that suck when you have doctor intervention but to me it was a means to an end. So do you want to expend resources and put up with invasive treatments to have things go on your schedule? Or are you happy to continue trying knowing what the odds are? And that a year is normal to try?

    #628887 Reply
    avatar
    Anonymousse

    Six months isn’t a big deal, but I think you should get a check up because worrying for longer is just not worth it. And try to not stress. As soon as the sex becomes a chore, it’s not good. I’m thinking good, fertile, baby making thoughts for you! Good luck, @freckles.

    #628898 Reply
    freckles
    freckles
    Participant

    I did go for the pre-conception appointment and had all the regular tests run (no genetic diseases, bloodwork looked good, etc), because I’m also very Type A.

    I think if this month isn’t it I am going to make the appointment. I would rather go through the treatments (if needed) now to have things go closer to my desired timing. Plus, you’re right, worrying for longer ISN’T going to help. I already have anxiety as it is, and I’m very easily stressed, so trying to ‘not stress’ at life in general has been difficult. And then I stress that my stress is impacting my fertility and around around we go…

    #628899 Reply
    freckles
    freckles
    Participant

    And thank you for the fertile baby making thoughts 🙂 It’s much appreciated!

    #628903 Reply
    MaterialsGirl
    MaterialsGirl
    Participant

    yeah maybe you just need a round or two of the clomid to get the eggs hopping.

    Anyway, good luck! have some fun doing it too 😉

    #628913 Reply
    avatar
    Anonymousse

    Has Mr. Freckles had a check up?
    Dont assume you are the culprit.

    #628918 Reply
    avatar
    RedRoverRedRover

    I know it feels like ages, and that sucks. 🙁 No additional advice, just best wishes!

    #628945 Reply
    redessa
    redessa
    Participant

    Since you asked for stories, I got pregnant after 6 mo. I already had an assumed diagnosis of endometriosis from the age of 17 (assumed because I hadn’t had a laparoscopy to confirm it, but it was what made the most sense). Shortly after getting married, my husband and I got pretty lax with birth control. We weren’t trying, but weren’t really preventing it either. After about 6 months, I started wondering why I hadn’t gotten pregnant.

    I went to the Dr and got that laparoscopy. He did find endo and cauterized what he could see. He then told me if I wasn’t pg in the next 6-12 mo, I probably never would be (this was in the month of April). So I started doing the temp charting and timing and all that. I was as antsy as I could be.

    That December (more than 6 mo later) we went to my parents for Christmas. We were talking on the plane and I told my husband that I didn’t think I was going to be able to get pg and couldn’t keep stressing over it. We agreed to go ahead and wait out the full 12 mo and then start looking into adoption.

    Well, a few days after Christmas, guess who got a positive pg test!? Yep, me! Everything went well with that pregnancy and we went on to have a whole house full.

    Obviously no one can promise the same will happen for you, but you have every reason to keep hoping. Good luck!

    #630140 Reply
    freckles
    freckles
    Participant

    No, Mr Freckles has not had a checkup. You’re right that I shouldn’t assume it’s me. I know a lot of women do, even though they’re only responsible 40% of the time. The only reason I did was because of my pain issues. Possible endometriosis, or something like that. But I’ve never gotten a diagnosis. So it could be nothing at all. It totally could be him. If we do make an appointment after this month, we will BOTH definitely be going in to get tested.

    @redessa, thank you so much for your story. That makes me feel better that other people have gone 6-12 months and gotten pregnant (with intervention). I do wonder if I will have to do something similar. I sometimes wonder if I have endometriosis, but have never gotten a diagnosis. (I sometimes feel women’s pelvic pain is not taken as seriously, and if doctors can’t find an answer after running one or two tests, they just dismiss it as ‘some women have pain’. Sigh.) Anyway, thank you again for sharing. Much appreciated!

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