Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Grandma at Wedding Help!

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Grandma at Wedding Help!

This topic contains 17 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar artsygirl 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 6 posts - 13 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • #668158 Reply

    Yeah, this isn’t complicated and you don’t need to justify your lack of an invitation. The fact that your mother is even asking you to invite her is offensive to me considering how your grandmother abused you.

    Just say “no, she will not be invited” and leave it at that. No need to justify. If your mother can’t respect your desire to not be abused, then perhaps she needs to be cut off as well. As Firestar stated, your mother is out of line on this one.

    #668164 Reply
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    for_cutie

    I guess I am confused as to where all of these demands are coming from. You haven’t seen your grandmother in 4 years. You said you cut all ties. Are you suddenly talking to her again? Are all of your grandmother’s demands being communicated to you through your mother?

    You cut ties years ago, now stick to that choice. As for your mother, if what’s holding you back is the dress, then pay her back for it. If you cannot afford it, return it or ask for the deposit to be credited to a more affordable dress. Especially if the grandmother stress is coming through your mother, and not directly from the grandmother.

    WES don’t invite the grandmother, and set some limits on your mother as well, especially if she is just serving as the grandmother’s mouthpiece.

    #668165 Reply
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    for_cutie

    Also FWIW I was asked by a grandmother-in-law, whom I am not close to, to carry a family handkerchief on my wedding day. I too had no pockets and minimal undergarments. I was also married in June, it was 100 degrees with no AC in an old church. I stuffed it in the armpit area of my dress and never even noticed it was there. Boom, family happy and no inconvenience to me.

    #668221 Reply
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    stillrunning

    It’s your wedding, not grandma’s. She sounds like a total pill. Don’t invite her, you won’t be the only person relieved that she’s not going to come.
    If she asks why, send her the list from your letter.

    #668336 Reply
    bittergaymark
    bittergaymark

    Eh, I am usually all about trying not to make weddings messy and complicated via deliberately withholding invitations, but I gotta admit… your grandmother is not worthy of the honor. Her behavior is simply ghastly. She has gone out of her way to put you in this position…

    #668513 Reply
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    artsygirl

    LW – I worked as a florist for a number of years and I have a suggestion regarding the handkerchief. See if your florist can incorporate it into your bridal bouquet either as a decorative element among the flowers or attached to the ribbon around the stems. That might appease your mother and grandmother. Regarding the invite, I agree with everyone else and not to invite the old witch. You will gain nothing from having her there and even if she is on her best behavior, it is likely you will spend the entire time stressed out waiting for her to act out. You do not need that on your wedding day!

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