Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Gravesite issue

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This topic contains 29 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Morecoffeeplease 5 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #682019 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom

    It’s not here lies Mr. and Mrs. Xxxx.

    It will be the family name across the top. Lower down on one half will be one spouses first and middle name and their date of birth and if they died that date as well. On the other side will be the other spouses name with their information.

    It is much easier and cheaper to engrave the stone before it is set than to go back and engrave one side later so the only thing that isn’t put on is the date of death for the living spouse. It is very common where I grew up for couples to share a stone. It would be very odd to see individual stones for spouses. Especially in a family lot you can tell who is married to who by the stone that they share. Individual stones are in the family lot for family members, either adult or child, who were never married. I think that is done here also. I think that in very old cemeteries people were buried in the order in which they died so you would probably end up with individual stones for everyone in the old sections. Even then they would try to put on something like, beloved wife of Aaaa, mother of Vvvv Zzzz Wwww. People like to put their connections on cemetery stones. It helps people know who was married to who and who their children are/were. It was a type of official document and invaluable to people doing genealogy. Some stones also included a birth place if the person had moved a long distance, like states away or they came from another country.

    #682020 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom

    They usually also include the date of the marriage on the joint stone.

    #682022 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    #682030 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    Yep. What sky said in the area I grew up. In the cemetery where most of my family is buried you see the last name across the top and first plus maybe middle names of husband and wife underneath. And in my parents instance, their daughter’s name, birth date and death is in the middle. My parents birthdate is on their too.

    #682082 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    I saw it a lot growing up. The ones I saw were just spouse name and birth/death dates on one side and spouse name and birth date on the other. No Victorian phrasing or whatever. Just one large headstone. Don’t know if it was a regional thing (the South) or what. I hadn’t seen my grandpa’s grave site until my grandma died, but theirs was set up like that, so when she died, they just added the date. Other friends talked about it being like that for their grandparents, and we debated the creepiness of having one’s name on a headstone when that person was still living.

    I mean, I don’t think it’s that uncommon to buy plots ahead of time so that family can be together, and it’s preferable to engrave more early on rather than later.

    #682757 Reply
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    Morecoffeeplease

    It has only been months! It takes years after someone dies to process feelings and sort through things. Please just give this time and let it go for now.

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