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Dear Wendy

He doesn't know my real age

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by avatar Anny21 1 month ago.

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  • #729107 Reply
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    Jade

    Long story short, we met on holiday in Ibiza. He’s from London I reside in CA, USA. When we met at a club he asked and stated he is 25, I at the time was 19, now 20. He believes I am 23. I feel horrible for lying but I didn’t expect for our relationship to escalate to what it is now. A month later he came to CA to visit me and 2 weeks after he left he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, I am now going to London in a few days for about 2weeks to spend the holidays with him and have a feeling he is going to absolutely hate me.

    #729110 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    I thought this was going to be “He thinks I’m 25 and I’m 15” OR “He thinks I’m 35 and I’m really 43”

    Tell him. Three years difference is so inconsequential it’s laughable. You are an adult – there is no legal risk. You’re not tricking a guy who wants children into a relationship with a woman who is at the end of her fertility.

    You’re stressing over nothing.

    #729116 Reply
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    jade

    LOL. Nothing that drastic, just that he has stated/ referred to someone in the past that 19 is a kid! & to be fair though at most we would continue hanging out and see each other on another holiday if that! He really likes me and as do I to him but I feel like I will just let him down and he’ll want to end things.

    #729124 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Bwah ha ha! 25 is a baby as far as I’m concerned. The difference between 25 and 20 is there but it’s not as significant as you’re making it out to be. He liked you, you liked him. Fess up. If you don’t it will weigh on you. Rip off the band aid. If it wasn’t meant to be, you’ve saved thousands in air fare.

    #729133 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Well, you have to tell him, so just do it. Today. Get it over with.

    I’d be floored if he cared, because a three year age difference is nothing between adults. I’ve dated younger guys, older guys, the number doesn’t matter. The personality does.

    #729134 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    You need to tell him. In the future don’t lie. You need to allow someone to have their own dealbreakers. If this is a dealbreaker for him he would find out anyway sooner or later and then you have the fact that you are a liar on top of the hidden something you thought he wouldn’t like.

    #729146 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Tell him when you see him next. NBD

    #729147 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    I don’t think this is no big deal actually. What you lied about is inconsequential but the fact that you did it isn’t. You absolutely have to tell him. Hopefully he’ll let it go but whether he does or not you should do some self examination. If this is a one-off ok but if not, get some help because lying for no reason is hugely damaging to your relationships.

    #729244 Reply
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    Jade

    I knew I had to say something as soon as things escalated, and I was on holiday when it all happened in a foreign country. I didn’t think I would ever see him again so in my eyes it was careless and inconsequential. Next thing you know he’s flying to see me and vise versa. I hope he doesn’t take it too bad, if he does as LisforLeslie stated, it wasn’t made to be. Thank You girls, I am seeing him next week. I will let you know how it goes.

    #729252 Reply
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    Anny21

    Yes, just tell him- it’s not that big of a deal and if you explain it I’m sure he will get it. If he doesn’t, then take it as a lesson. As stated above- just be honest with people though, even though it may be hard sometimes- and let them make their own judgements. If they don’t like something, or judge you for something that is a part of you, then let them walk.

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