Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Heartbreak

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by avatar RedRoverRedRover 1 week ago.

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  • #682156 Reply
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    Bryan

    So after an a minor argument my girlfriend of two years told me we should take a break to so she can see concentrate on school and focus on getting her mind better to be in a relationship. This break was in name only as for two weeks I still slept over her house and we still kissed had sex hung out and said we loved each other. The whole time she told me she wasn’t interested in dating anyone myself included. Today she met with me and told me that she loved me and wanted to be with me again but this past weekend she had sex with a male friend. I’m devastated and i told her I don’t know. On the one hand we were on a break but I thought that we both weren’t going to have sex with other people. Do I have a right to be angry?

    #682164 Reply
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    Janelle

    You THOUGHT you weren’t going to be having sex with other people. Doesn’t sound like it was agreed just what you assumed. Honestly I know it doesn’t feel good but it likely was the kick in the butt she needed to realize she does want to be with you. Now, if you can mentally move past it is a different issue.

    #682171 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Did you agree to not have sex with other people, or did you assume that? I can see why you’d be hurt or angry, but if you’re on a break and it wasn’t stated that you were still exclusive, then it’s not like she was cheating or anything.

    If you guys were sleeping together and hanging out AND exclusive, then I guess I don’t understand what made it a break then.

    I’d say you should talk about it a little more. Why did she have sex with him? Why does she now know she wants to be in a relationship with you? What did the break teach her? You’re basing a lot on the actions here, but don’t seem to be looking very closely or communicating about the thought and intention behind it (or at least you didn’t mention it).

    I think it could go one of two ways. Either, like Janelle said, she realized what was important to her and found clarity … or she wanted to test the waters with someone else but didn’t want to risk being alone. Figuring out what this was all about would help…

    #682179 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom

    I have to wonder if she wanted to take a break so she could have sex with the new guy. Technically it wouldn’t be cheating but she kept everything the same as usual with you to keep you on the hook.
    Technically not cheating but certainly playing a game. I’d think twice about staying with her because I’d have trouble trusting her. If someone wants to take a break that should mean you aren’t seeing each other. It shouldn’t mean you have your full relationship plus trying out a guy on the side. If she wanted that she should have been honest about it.

    #682182 Reply
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    RedRoverRedRover

    That’s exactly what I thought, Skyblossom. She wanted to sleep with another guy, so she did the “on a break” thing so that she wouldn’t technically be a cheater. But it’s manipulative and shitty. She obviously didn’t want an actual break, since the relationship didn’t change at all. She just wanted the freedom to have sex with someone else.

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