Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Herpes

This topic contains 33 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by avatar carolann 4 months ago.

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  • #687556 Reply
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    KO873
    Member

    Longgggg time lurker.

    I hadn’t had sex with anyone (I’m a 31 yr old straight female) in almost two years, and this past weekend I fooled around with an old friend. We were careful in the sense that we didn’t have unprotected sex (didn’t have P in V sex at all, as I went off the pill about a year ago because I wasn’t dating anyone) but we both performed oral sex on each other and I think I contracted herpes. I visited my gyno this morning who took swabs and will have the results next week. She gave me a prescription for Valtrex which I’ve filled and taken the first dose of. Any advice from anyone here who has the disease? I’ve read the first outbreak can be the worst.

    As for the guy, I haven’t told him yet but am planning on it once I have official confirmation. I’m shaking just writing this that I could be so stupid.

    #687564 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Any way it could be an ingrown hair? In college I had a similar scare (no p I v) and the physicians assistant told me it was ‘definitely herpes’, the test would confirm, and I should start taking Valtrex. I had a minor breakdown and a week later I found out I was negative and I figured out it was a truly wretched ingrown hair.

    Try not to panic. Worst case scenario you have a *very* common virus that you can treat and handle responsibly. You will be ok.

    #687565 Reply
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    TheHizzy

    You can have it for years before you have an outbreak.

    I contracted oral herpes on my genitals last year – well I had an outbreak. But my prior partner disclosed to me after he had an outbreak. He was previously diagnosed or not infected. I had an outbreak about 6 months after he had his. I got tested right after he told me – negative…and then a 6 month gestation period and I had an outbreak. So, you very well would have had it before. But be sure you let your partner know.

    I’ve only had one outbreak and it was awful. Peeing was painful, my legs were tingly and it was just awful. I’m hoping to never have another outbreak but if I do I hear the same thing….not as painful.

    And no matter if you use a condom you can still contract it from skin on skin contact not covered by a condom. There’s more people who had herpes than even know because it can lay dormant. I struggled a lot with my diagnosis. Lots of stigmata against this disease most people have. Sorry.

    #687566 Reply
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    KO873
    Member

    I won’t know for sure until I get the results back what it is, but that was my first indication – ingrown hair – because of how it looked. However there was another spot the dr found which gave her pause. She swabbed both areas to test.

    Although I know it could have been in my system for a while, I can only believe it was from this past weekend, as it had been so long since I had any sort of sexual contact. But I won’t put it solely on this person until after I get my results and talk to him to see if he knew anything about it. I know you can also not know you have it so if it was him, he may not have even known.

    #687567 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Fingers crossed for you.

    #687570 Reply
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    TheHizzy

    Mine was very painful. And, like I said, tingly down my leg on the side it was on. I had just one sore and I wished so badly it was just an ingrown hair.

    I had been very stressed and I think that caused my outbreak. I”m 99% sure I got it from a particular guy. I also hadn’t had sex before that in 3.5 years so he was the only one I figured. Prior to that most of my partners were virgins.

    #687576 Reply
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    KO873
    Member

    Thank you. Already thinking as though I have it so I’m not too taken aback when the results come in next week.

    @thehizzy, any recommendations on random things, like even what to wear? I’ve read to keep the area dry, which isn’t the easiest task. Can I workout during this time? I read outbreaks can last 2-4 weeks. I also read epsom salt baths, ice packs, etc. I’m preparing for the worst and getting ready to hunker down this weekend. I’m glad I got the prescription.

    #687578 Reply
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    RedRoverRedRover

    My husband had it since he was a kid but never really knew till his 30s. His outbreaks consist of a bump inside his cheek, like a canker sore. He always assumed that’s what they were, he only got them once every few years. But then about 5 years ago he got a really big painful one, and was afraid it was cancer or something, so he went to the Dr and that’s when he found out. Then he realized that’s what the canker sores were all these years.

    He figures he got it from his grandmother, who would insist on kisses from the grandchildren even when she had cold sores. His sister got it from her too. The grandparents were from europe, where apparently herpes is considered no big deal.

    Anyway, I get why you’re upset, I would be too. But for a lot of people, it’s not life-changing. Good luck.

    #687580 Reply
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    TheHizzy

    I continuned to workout during this time and wore loose fitting clothes. I made sure to wear cotton underwear – granny pannies if you will – and just tried my best to change immediately after a workout.

    Once I got the medicine the symptoms subsided after a day or so and became more manageable. Just keep it clean, and think of it as an open sore – any water right over it hurts.

    I’m getting sympathy pains over here! I had it on one side and I swear I’m feeling it now 😛

    Just take a deep breath and know that stress can trigger an outbreak. Cotton is your friend. Cotton is your friend.

    My pain went away a couple days after I got medication.

    #687581 Reply
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    KO873
    Member

    I assume you refrain from kissing or sexual contact during the time your husband has a sore? I didn’t notice, but also didn’t specifically look for, any sores on my partner, but I would’ve hoped he would have said something. Can’t go back now!

    It’s hopeful to hear that outbreaks may be few and far between, although I would always disclose to a partner in the future regardless of whether I was having one or not.

    #687582 Reply
    avatar
    K

    Do you have any other symptoms, or just the two spots that look like ingrown hairs? If you don’t have any other symptoms, it could be something else – for example, I had a bunch of red bumps that looked like razor burn, but they got painful. I went to the doctor and I had folliculitis, caused by leaving sweaty underwear on too long after a hike, on a hot humid day. If you do have it, like others have said, it’s not the end of the world and while it sucks, you’ll be ok!

    #687584 Reply
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    KO873
    Member

    @thehizzy thank you!! I put on jeans this morning before the drs and can’t wait to take them off later. I’m not experiencing any symptoms now that I can tell, just mentally I feel like having them on is making things worse.

    @k no, I don’t think any other symptoms. The one spot hurt in the shower this morning as I washed, which is what made me call the dr. She said the incubation period is 7-10 days so I’m right on schedule for that, as it occurred a week ago today.

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