Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

“How Do I Ask My Partner’s Family to Send Invites to Me?”

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice “How Do I Ask My Partner’s Family to Send Invites to Me?”

This topic contains 37 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by FireStar Firestar 7 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #667853 Reply

    LW: The knock on your SILs sexual history, or lack thereof, is rather gratuitously nasty. It also is attacking something which is absolutely none of your business. So she doesn’t dress as you would prefer and was closer to your live-in-not-quite-husband than you prefer. Your comments just seem mean spirited. You have a great tendency to blame all of your almost in-laws for what is entirely your common-law husband’s fault. They invited the two of you through him. If he doesn’t want to tell you, likely because he doesn’t really want to attend the family event and feels you will push him to attend, that’ on him. You also seem to view invitations addressed to you as formal acceptance of your relationship with your bf. Your relationship is what it is and whether or not you get separate invitations addressed directly to you won’t change that one iota. That is between you and your bf.

    I don’t know where you live, but you should be aware that many states have done away with the concept of common law marriage, as in they don’t recognize it any more. You either choose to marry or you don’t. Even where common law is still recognized, it has always required more than living together and having a child together. Both parties have to hold out the other as their spouse before the public. If he doesn’t do that, then you are not really common law married, regardless of where you live.

    So… if you want to be regarded as married, why aren’t you actually married? I’m going to guess that your bf doesn’t want to marry you and does not generally describe you as his wife when talking to family, friends, and officialdom.

    #667876 Reply

    You know they communicate on Facebook and you couldn’t just create a profile for them to message you through? That would have solved your problem from jump. I wonder why you didn’t. Listen, it’s clear you don’t like them – the eldest one in particular. I’m sure they are aware. And they probably don’t like you either. All your breaches of etiquette mean nothing. It’s a family – not an audience. I bet if they wrote in they would have a lot to say about you. Like how it’s rude to inject yourself into a conversation and make passive aggressive statements… About reading a child’s book ffs. You still don’t see how ridiculous that was on your part. So self examination seems off the table and a willingness to see the part you play seems beyond you. So have at it. Bitch about your boyfriend’s family and make yourself a drama queen until he decides it’s not worth it anymore. Keep believing writing thank you notes makes you a good person. As you cause turmoil over nothing for your boyfriend. Maybe some time with a therapist can give you perspective. You’ve seemed to lost yours.

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