Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

How do I deal with this person?

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This topic contains 29 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by avatar Stillrunning 2 months ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 30 total)
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  • #676839 Reply

    Wow, RR. I’m sorry. That’s a really terrible way to treat your customer. They have to refund your money. That’s unbelievable they’d take your money like that and not give you the spot you were promised.

    #676847 Reply
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    Vathena

    WOW. What a B. I’d be furious too. That’s so unacceptable. If they don’t refund you every penny of what you paid to hold that spot, I will be filled with rage on your behalf.
    As far as how to deal with her…I’m kind of with Fyodor. Keep it short but professional. You don’t want her to have an excuse to screw you over again. As time passes, you may find you don’t have such crazy negative feelings about it (maybe!)
    Also, can I just express my envy at a year of maternity leave and being able to feel that a 9-month-old (yes?) is too young for part-time daycare…sigh. I was *lucky* to get 12 weeks, mostly unpaid, here in the U.S. and my daughter was with a non-family caregiver before she was 4 months old. I met a mom who had to go back to work when her preemie son was 7 weeks old and weighed 5lbs. We suck.

    #676871 Reply
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    Ale
    Member

    You are right to be mad and angry, she fucked up. You don’t have to go back to the way it was before. Just talk to her if you absolutely must. And maybe tell her that all communication should be written now?

    #676877 Reply
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    RedRoverRedRover

    @Fyodor, no, I’m not going to rehash it. There’s no point, she knows how I feel and I made it very clear that it’s her fault (she didn’t disagree) and that I’m furious with her.

    @firestar, thanks for the offer, I might take you up on it. I don’t particularly want a nanny because I work from home and my office is right beside the baby’s room. During naps I’d have to clear out and go work down in the basement. Plus if she’s crying etc you can hear it both in my office and the basement. Not great if I’m on a client call. But I might need to do it to at least bridge us to July. Or we might even get a part-time nanny/housekeeper once my son starts school, instead of paying for after-care for him, and then we’d get cooking and cleaning into the deal. Anyway, I’ve got your email, I’ll hit you up if we decide to go that direction because I’d love to get a recommendation rather than just looking around randomly.

    @anonymousse, yeah. If they don’t refund me I guess I’ll leave.

    @vathena, I feel for you guys. I honestly don’t know how you do it. It’s fucking impressive. And of course women are still told they’re not good enough, even when you’re going through this crazy ordeal in order to try to have kids and a career. Unbelievable.

    @ale, yep, that’s a good idea. If she ever tries to discuss anything like this again, I’ll tell her I want to communicate over email so I have it in writing. That’ll save me having to talk to her as much, too.

    #676878 Reply

    If they don’t refund you, you should take them to court.
    You might be able to find a nanny share! That wouldn’t have to be at your home, although it could be.

    #676879 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    I doubt you’d have to take them to court. You could just have a lawyer send them a scary-ass letter.

    #676883 Reply
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    RedRoverRedRover

    We’re wary of taking them to court while the kids are still in, because according to their Parental Code of Conduct, “threats” and “harassment” can get your kids kicked out. We can’t risk that. They’ve got us over a barrel. Later this year when the kids are out, we can do it. For now we’re stuck. It’s so frustrating.

    #676886 Reply

    If that’s the case, I’d try to get them to admit to fleecing you in writing and that way when you do get a letter written, you also have written proof.

    #676887 Reply
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    Fyodor

    You don’t want to be suing or threatening to sue the people watching your small children.

    #676888 Reply
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    RedRoverRedRover

    @Fyodor, exactly. We would have to wait till they’re out. @anonymousse, they won’t put it in writing. Don’t I wish they would! They did admit they were wrong over the phone, I think that’s all we’ll get.

    #676889 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    A letter wouldn’t have to threaten to sue. It’d say “For Settlement Purposes Only” and the objective would be to get her money back. Just to clarify. I’m not saying do it, I just think people should understand that consulting a lawyer to help rectify a wrong does not mean suing or threatening to sue. I don’t know why people are so freaked out by legal stuff. Sometimes you need someone to tell you what to say or write a letter on your behalf that lists your complaints and cites precedent to say why what they did is wrong.

    #676892 Reply
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    RedRoverRedRover

    It wouldn’t normally freak me out Kate, but in this case a) they have my kids all day and I want them to be treated well, and b) we can’t risk that they’ll kick us out because we have no alternate childcare. We just can’t risk it that they’d receive that letter and that *they’d* freak out and say we’re out of the daycare. I’d love to do it, if I knew it wouldn’t affect my kids.

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