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How to uninvite toxic friend to concert?

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This topic contains 20 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Hannah 3 weeks, 3 days ago.

Viewing 9 posts - 13 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • #727230 Reply
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    Ele4phant

    Well I understand why you don’t want to be friends her anymore (and think you’re totally justified to end it) I think you’re way overthinking this.

    Just take someone else to the festival. If she asks, just tell her you wanted to spread it around and give another friend the opportunity to get free tickets. She got to go last time, someone else gets to go this time.

    After that, just start fading out.

    Confronting her probably with her character flaws isn’t going to help her see the light. Probably she’ll just think you’re a dick – maybe she’ll trash talk you to others.

    So just stop hanging out with her, put her off if she tries to initiate get togethers, and let this friendship die on its own.

    #727274 Reply
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    Northern Star

    You want to get back at Emma for ruining your good time at the festival. You’re already planning to ghost her—why in the WORLD would you think it necessary to have a nasty confrontation where you explain exactly why you hate her?

    Just fade out and don’t talk to her anymore. There is no need to be a jerk about this.

    #727276 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    I’d fade out slowly. Why bother escalating things by telling her everything you think is wrong with her?

    TBH, the “plans” you have with her at the next music festival sound far from concrete. Someone mentioned he’d put you both on the guest list. Okay. This wouldn’t pass as “having plans” to me. So I’d personally tell the friend in charge of the guest list who you want to invite, and not bring it up again with the friend you’re trying to ditch. If she brings it up, you can say you’ve decided to take someone else. If she asks why, I’d go with something along the lines of what @ele4phant said. Don’t tell her about her perceived character flaws. And keep fading out from there.

    #727302 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    The problem is that he told the obnoxious friend that he was putting the names on the list. She has every right to consider one of those tickets to be hers. She was the one he chose to tell about those tickets. The OP needs to talk to the guy who puts them on the list for free tickets to see if he wants her friend there. He has every right to invite who he wants to invite, including her friend who will be ghosted. She can’t just assume that both tickets are hers to do with as she wishes.

    #727306 Reply
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    ele4phant

    @skyblossom. I’d argue he said they were for the OP’s birthday so they are her tickets, but if fine, the cleanest easiest thing to do would be to not go to the concert, let Emma take the tickets, do something else for your birthday, and fade on the friendship otherwise.

    In no scenario should the OP tell Emma “I don’t want you to come to the concert because you’re negative and annoying and I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

    #727390 Reply
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    Hannah

    I have been an extremely supportive friend to Emma and I did help her find the phone. In fact I am the REASON she found it. I spent over an hojr walking around the festival, texting her phone from my own etc. She is a toxic friend – she makes rude remarks about other girls bodies, and the reaction she had to the phone is the same reaction she has to ANY minor setback. She almost started crying when she realized she forgot her false eyelashes, for example. So save the “you could be a better friend” speech

    #727392 Reply
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    Hannah

    Also I’m absolutely going to the concert and if Emma somehow showed up still I would avoid/ignore her. However as I said she doesn’t have my friends information and is not a very independent person. If she thinks I’m not going to the concert she most likely will not go either, and if I tell him not to put her name on or that she can’t make it then she will have no way to ask him otherwise. She is the type of person who will not even go into a grocery store without someone else with her, and will most likely be discouraged from going if she realizes I won’t be there.

    #727393 Reply
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    Hannah

    Northern Star – I was asking if I should ghost her, not saying that was the plan. The other option was explaining why I don’t want to be friends. There’s obviously no need to do both

    #727394 Reply
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    Hannah

    @Ele4phant- that’s an awesome idea, saying I’m giving someone else the opportunity instead. Thank you!

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