Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I don't UNDERSTAND!!!

Home Forums General Chat I don't UNDERSTAND!!!

This topic contains 169 replies, has 22 voices, and was last updated by avatar Silje 6 days, 9 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 170 total)
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  • #694173 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    That’s how far too many people live well, I mean.

    #694175 Reply
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    Janelle

    Then there are people like a certain family member of mine who has money, saves always yet continually bitches about every single penny. Drives me bonkers hearing how “oh no bla bla broke now we need to buy a new one” while they have probably a million in savings. It’s great that they are frugal but it’s just enough of the bitching already.

    #694177 Reply

    My wealthiest friends are pretty frugal in a lot of ways.

    #694180 Reply
    avatar
    Janelle

    I think it’s great they are frugal it just gets exhausting hearing about how they have to buy a new toaster or something. Every penny is a complaint.

    #694185 Reply
    avatar
    csp

    @copa – totally agree about the medical bills. Last year, My son had surgery. We were insured but our copay was $6k. So we could have gotten something great with that money but we needed to pay the medical bills.

    @anonymousse – I do understand that some people make crazy money. Like, of course you can buy a big 6 bedroom house if your combined income is $350k. And I also understand that many people outside the east coast can buy homes for much cheaper too. But, you become part of the 1% at that point. I am assuming that number can’t make up the majority of the people. But maybe that is the answer.

    @Valthala – I agree about the vacations but for me it is more the normal costs like Haircut/color every 6 weeks -$150. $18 coctails. Going to a fancy gym for $150 a month. Like it just all adds up.

    #694187 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I don’t know how people do it with kids, but I personally max out my 401(k) and save a lot of my bonus and commission money. So between those two, I’m saving at least 20%. I pay my monthly bills – mortgage, car lease, phone, utilities, insurance, groceries, with my base salary. When I get bonuses and commissions, some goes to savings and some to vacations and stuff.

    I don’t have any debt though. My parents paid for college, and I got a half scholarship for grad school and paid off the rest. They also loaned me the money for a down payment on a condo, which I paid back after selling it. I don’t carry credit card balances.

    Again, no idea how I would afford a kid. I’d say, don’t assume everyone is in debt, but many don’t have much if any savings. It’s way harder these days with how much housing and daycare cost, than it was for my parents in the 80s and 90s.

    #694188 Reply
    avatar
    csp

    @Janelle – I think there is so much you spend money on that sucks. Like I needed a new water heater. That sucks because you spend the money and no one notices. I wanted to have a party for the water heater and make everyone ooh and ahh over it. I am being funny but there is a lot of “responsible adult” expenses that I dont’ think you get credit for like insurance. I realized between health, home owners, life, and car insurance – we spend $1000. But we need all those things right? so annoying.

    #694189 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Oh, I just read your update. I guess you already know, but the first place to cut expenses is a $150 gym and $18 cocktails.

    #694211 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    With two kids, 1 1/2 salaries, living in a super expensive city, and thinking about buying a place, I’ve been thinking about all of this two. Something just has to give. We cannot afford to have everything that we want. There have to be some sacrifices. So, for now, we are sacrificing the nice home and “stuff” (we don’t have a car, for example) so that we can continue having quality time together (I don’t work a traditional job and can be home during the day; I don’t make nearly as much as I could working full-time for someone else, but I don’t have to pay as much in childcare, commuting costs, or a work wardrobe). Anyway, salaries are very important, but so are the choices you make, the way your prioritize what’s meaningful to you, and how well you budget and spend to reflect those priorities.

    Plus, yeah, lots of people love way beyond their means and will be saddled with debt forever, and will be stressed in retirement (if they ever do get to retire).

    #694212 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    And, yeah — cut those crazy expenses like the every-six week $150 haircut (if you’re spending $150 on a haircut, it sure as shit better last longer than six weeks!), the $18 cocktails, and the $150 monthly gym membership!

    #694213 Reply

    Houses on the west coast are expensive as hell! A typical three bedroom with literally nothing special and no basement is starting at in my area as $700,000. Brand new built homes with no backyard (no, I’m not even in the city) are $1 million. A two room cottage in its prime, but now, a shack with no utilities (only good for teardown) are $450,000. And this is thirty minutes outside of Seattle.

    #694214 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    Things that are absolutely not negotiable are insurance (life insurance of 2-3x salary, health insurance, insurance on your possessions) and an emergency fund, ideally at least 8 months living expenses but whatever you can put away.

    My dad’s dad died in a car accident when he and his younger sister were 18 and 15. Life insurance put those last 2 kids through college and kept my grandmother afloat until she found a career in, actually, insurance (she had been a SAHM).

    We found out our apartment was completely flooded 3 months after we moved out. We are over-insured so we would have been ok, but someone without adequate insurance could lose a lot of their valuable possessions.

    I got laid off from my job and got severance, but there were circumstances that made it a good idea to negotiate for more. If I didn’t have living expenses saved up, I couldn’t have spent 4 months negotiating, and wouldn’t have gotten the extra money I did.

    Having these defenses in place protects you from the kind of catastrophe that could put you out on the street, literally ruin your life, etc. I wonder if everyone who appears to be living large has these protections.

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