Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I forgot how to speak

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by bittergaymark Bittergaymark 3 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #682923 Reply
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    natsume

    So, a lot of girls have probably been here before, but now I’m in this situation. I’ve finally grown a vagina and told a friend that I like him. We’ve known each other since grade school and we’re 22 now, and he’s always this been this brooding asshole nice guy and I’ve always been this seems-like-im-not-interested-in-people-but-actually-is-an-awful-hopeless-romantic type of girl. We didn’t hang around each other much, and when we did it would be these ACTUAL studying dates or him helping me out with something. But we were friends, because he was always there to help me through tough times and we had the same classes for 4 years of our lives. And the only time I would talk to him would be to ask him for assistance. For awhile i had given up on the idea that we could actually be something, but now I’m trying to change my “fate”. We’re now in a situation where we’re both making excuses to not be together.. he literally said our only option was to “wait and see” until the right time comes. But in the mean time, we’re trying to maintain a friendship and find it so difficult to talk to him. We don’t talk much at all still, but id like to figure out how to talk to him when you’re in an already friends sort of relationship. OR does “wait and see” mean let’s not talk until I’m ready to pursue you. I’m not even sure if I want to keep trying. And I’m not at all interested in dating, help I’m thinking too much?

    #682927 Reply
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    Heather

    It was brave and good of you to tell him you liked him, but ‘wait & see’ he means doesn’t feel the same. I’m sure he’s flattered, but if someone actually likes someone they don’t wait. They just decide to be together. Don’t waste your time pining for him. Plus any relationship be it friends or a romantic relationship requires good communication and this isn’t that either. Sorry to be break this to you, but otherwise you’d continue with false hope over someone who isn’t into you. Move on already.

    #682947 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Sadly Heather is right. You should be proud of yourself for being up front and putting yourself out there. That was really brave. He is letting you down easy. Allow yourself time to be disappointed but you’re going to have to move on.

    #682955 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Heather & LisforLeslie are right; he is letting you down easy. I’m also giving you props for going for it and for using the term growing a vagina–I am sooo going to steal that. Take some time to process the hurt and move on with the confidence that you’re a big girl with a grown vagina who can ask a guy out and keep on rocking if it doesn’t go how you hoped.

    #682956 Reply
    FireStar
    Firestar

    Wait and see is code for no thank you…When you don’t have the integrity to say no thank you outright. I’m sure he’s trying to be nice and let you down easy. But he doesn’t want what you want. Don’t give him anymore of your time. Good for you for trying. It was a risk. The best decisions in life always have some risk attached. This time it didn’t work out. Maybe next time it will. Move on now and meet someone new.

    #682960 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    I’m glad you said something to him! A lot of people don’t do that and just sit and wonder. But yeah, he’s not interested. One thing you’ll notice is that a lot of people aren’t comfortable saying outright, “I’m not interested.” So, they hedge it a little and say things like “not right now” or make excuses that, in theory, could be solved if they were real excuses. The key is noticing that if they don’t say “yes,” then they are just not interested.

    #682973 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Yeah, he tried to let you down nicely which is ironic as that often results in even harder feelings…

    #683009 Reply

    Ovaries, lady, ovaries. That’s the equivalent.

    And I think what you are referring to is your vulva, btw.

    #683010 Reply
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    Northern Star

    I agree with the others. Continue to be brave and maybe when you’re ready, you’ll find someone who is more “nice,” less “brooding asshole.” 😉

    #683014 Reply
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    Heather

    Personally, I like this quote from Betty White:” Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

    #683036 Reply
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    Ale
    Member

    First of all, you don’t say what “excuses” he has made up for not being with you but you don’t know if they are excuses or legitimate reasons.
    Second,, you guys aren’t even friends. You’re acquaintances. Friends DO talk to each other and not just about homework or projects at school. I’m sorry but this guy has never been interested in you, not as a friend and not as a romantic partner. The “wait and see” thing actually means no.

    #683051 Reply
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    Ange

    If he’s a brooding arsehole nice guy mate he’s probably done you a huge favour, count your blessings.

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