Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

“I Impregnated My Ex and It’s All My Girlfriend’s Fault”

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice “I Impregnated My Ex and It’s All My Girlfriend’s Fault”

This topic contains 33 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by avatar sarah 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 34 total)
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  • #678523 Reply
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    Gwyneth6

    For one thing, don’t get your current partner pregnant. How are you going to support the child? Do you have a room for the child ready in your home? These are the things to think about.

    #678550 Reply
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    Ange

    Thankfully I don’t see that kind of vernacular much over here, we don’t say school was ‘opened’ and if it’s college neither Australia or the UK call it school. Which means, if it’s from the UK, this dingbat is probably still in high school.

    #678563 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    @ange, sorry, I didn’t mean to say it was definitely someone from the UK. To be honest, if the LW is indeed from the US our education system is really and truly failing, which wouldn’t be a huge surprise to me but it would be pretty depressing nonetheless.

    #678571 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom

    Everyone knows that when you get a woman pregnant it is the fault of you and the woman. No one forced you to have unprotected sex with your ex. That was a choice you made and she made. Your current girlfriend had nothing to do with your poor decisions. When you write about it being your girlfriend’s fault you sound like a jerk and you sound immature. Part of being a man is taking responsibility for your choices and your actions. When this baby is born the courts aren’t going to be assigning child support to your current girlfriend because the courts know who is responsible and it isn’t her.

    The thing you need to do at this time is focus on how you can be a good father. That means you don’t let a girlfriend talk you into not being a good father. Again, this is a choice you make. You can’t go around blaming girlfriends for your own decisions. Your baby needs you to choose to be a good father. This isn’t so much about being there for the ex as it is about being there for the baby and since the baby hasn’t been born yet you help the ex in ways that help the baby. That doesn’t mean hanging out and having sex. It could mean shopping for groceries for her and helping buy maternity clothes and going along to doctor’s appointments. At this time, and for at least the next 18 years, you need a girlfriend who supports you in what you need to do to be a good father. If your current girlfriend can’t or won’t do that then she needs to be the latest ex. You also need to figure out how you will contribute financially to help raise your baby and how you will spend time with that baby once it is born. Every baby needs a good dad.

    #678691 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    My girlfriend made me sad and the only person in the world who could make me happy had a vagina and I was forced to interact with it!!

    Do you hear yourself? Seriously – do you understand how many choices you made that no one else made for you that led to this absolute garbage nonsense? If the shoe was on the other foot and your “current” was pregnant by an ex – would that be your fault. With your logic. Yes, it would totally be your fault.

    You may have the ability to produce sperm but you have no balls. Own up to your own actions. Break up with your current because she deserves better. Figure out how you’re going to support your ex and your CHILD both emotionally and financially.

    #678705 Reply
    Crochet.Ninja
    Crochet.Ninja
    Participant

    are you mentally impaired? It’s no one else’s fault that you slept with someone. doesn’t matter who they are. YOU and the other person are responsible – not some other person.

    #678902 Reply
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    Daniel Kas

    Really…. are people try`na help…?

    #678907 Reply
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    Daniel Kas

    …. you can only understand this if went through it. Lets try to give him sensible advice & not lookin down upon him.

    I dont get it why we should use his text to get on his neck.

    We all make mistakes though the levels differ.

    The person asked for advice and not for insults, so should he start insulting? Posting a long text like that isn’t really a joke no matter how broken his vocabulary is…

    YOUNG MAN, START THINKING OF HOW YOU’RE GONNA BE TAKING CARE OF YOU CHILD. YOU’VE NOW GOT A VERY HUGE RESPONSIBILITY COMING YOUR WAY… YOU NEVER KNOW, MAYBE YOU WERE MEANT TO BE WITH YOUR EX.
    YOU MENTIONED @she broke up with you without a reason… SO SPEND TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT…

    Dont blame your current, are you going to be telling your child s/he`s a product of FRUSTRATION & MISTAKE??

    A child is a blessing so you’ve got to do the right thing and make sure you don’t impregnate you so called current before you put yourself in a dilemma of complications…

    I wish I could have a face to face talk with you and your current gal..

    GIRLL ARE VERY STUPID…

    • This reply was modified 2 months ago by avatar Kate.
    #678908 Reply
    redessa
    redessa
    Participant

    Yes, really, the people here are “try’na” help. It might not be what you want to hear, but they’re trying to act as a wakeup call.

    1) Take responsibility for your actions. Yours. Not your “current.” Yours. Your very own actions that you chose to do. Your gf might be understanding of the fact that you were broken up when the pregnancy occurred, but it is ridiculous to say she forced you into the arms (and vagina) of your ex. It is incredibly immature to blame other people for what you’ve done. You made that choice and you need to own up to it.

    2) Stop stringing these two women along. They both deserve better. A) You cannot give the young lady at school the undivided attention she desires. B) You are not “the only key” to healthy baby. Yes, your attention should be on your child’s mother and a healthy pregnancy. That does not include leading her to believe your relationship is something it isn’t. She’s pregnant, not incompetent. She has the right make choices about her and her baby’s lives based on the facts, not whatever fantasy of family life you’re letting her believe is going to happen.

    3) You are about to be a father! This is a big, life altering deal. Instead of worrying about your dating life, how about putting that time and energy into figuring out how you’re going to take care of the child you created. Again YOU. You and your ex. No one else has any responsibility for it at all. It’s time for you to grow up – fast.

    #678937 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom

    The reality is that there is a very low chance you will be with either of these women in a year. Your ex will remain your ex and your current will become an ex. Even if you and your ex get back together it won’t last. The two of you didn’t work out before and you’ll be adding a baby to something that didn’t work. Babies stress relationships. They are so much nonstop work that they give you almost no time to be a couple. They are exhausting.

    You don’t seem the type of guy to hang in there through exhausting. Whether you get back together with the ex or not she’ll be taking care of the baby and you’ll be out chasing another woman and blaming the mother of the baby for the fact that you are out chasing other women and if you get another one pregnant you’ll blame it on the ex for not having enough time for you.

    Stop thinking about this as a way to get back with the ex. Stop thinking about the baby as a way to be with the current and the ex. I think you’re using the baby as an excuse to spend time with the ex while still being with the current. You want both at the same time but if you try to have both at the same time you’ll end up with neither.

    Instead of chasing two women at once figure out how you are going to pay your share of the cost of taking care of a baby. Have you priced diapers? Baby clothes? Formula? Have you tried to help arrange childcare so that when the baby is born and the mother goes back to work you’ve helped arrange a safe place for your baby? Even though the baby hasn’t been born yet you are a father and you need to start acting like a father. Have you priced a crib, crib mattress and sheets and other things your baby will need? Have you started saving money to help pay for these things? If you haven’t it shows how immature you are. You are a father. Your baby needs you. Step up and be the father it needs.

    #679103 Reply
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    cyndi

    What a moron.

    #679104 Reply
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    cyndi

    Don’t breed anymore. Keep that thing in your pants.

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