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I was the "Other Woman" – how do I apologize?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice I was the "Other Woman" – how do I apologize?

This topic contains 30 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by Skyblossom Skyblossom 4 days, 22 hours ago.

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  • #735614 Reply
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    JD

    Never blamed the wife. Said that if she focuses on being angry about the past she won’t have time to focus on her current relationship, which is priority. If he husband sees her constantly complaining about or angry about her ex he will eventually feel slighted.

    And to imply I am sleeping with a married man or something because of my thoughts is tone deaf on your part. Also ridiculously rude.

    #735617 Reply
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    Northern Star

    Your exact quote: “I will never get why people will get mad at the other “woman”.”

    I don’t see how anyone has misinterpreted your words.

    #735625 Reply
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    ele4phant

    I mean, I agree with everything in your post, but for the part about not being mad at someone who facilitates cheating.

    First of all, sounds like Stephanie realized Marco was the problem, she dumped him immediately. If she didn’t, if she stayed with Marco and spent the next decade ostracizing and shit talking the LW while playing happy family with him, I’d see your point.

    But, I definitely think she has every right to also be mad at the LW and to not want to have anything to do with her.

    #735644 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    The woman has every right to be mad at both Marco and the LW. It is the LW trying to push a relationship between them so it is the LW who keeps bringing up the affair by trying to push her way into the other woman’s life. The cheated on woman probably doesn’t spend too much time thinking about Marco and probably isn’t obsessing about him either. That doesn’t mean that having the LW in her face all the time isn’t a constant and ugly reminder of a difficult time in her life. The woman is probably glad that she found out about Marco and has a better husband but at the same time doesn’t want anything to do with the LW. Who really wants someone who you can’t trust and don’t respect to have any space in your life or the life of your child. The woman has the right to choose her own friends and who wants one like the LW. The LW wishes she didn’t have the consequences of her actions and can’t figure out why she can’t easily make them go away. The decisions she made in the past will go into the future. She may as well get used to it. Her friends who are suggesting that she send a card with an apology probably talk about her behind her back.

    #735645 Reply
    FireStar
    FireStar
    Participant

    Where does it say she is “constantly complaining about or angry about her ex”. Which will make the husband feel neglected? So then he will cheat too? How much of this are we going to be making up?

    She’s ignoring the mistress. The mistress was the one constantly complaining to the other mothers she is being ignored. The person with the problem is the mistress.

    Because you avoid a bad person that does not make you the one with the problem.

    #735650 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Considering that the wife didn’t write in, I’m not sure what the purpose is of trying to give her advice about her current relationship. Please also show us the part where the wife complains about the LW.

    #735793 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    Eight years ago you had no concern for Stephanie’s well-being and today you still have no concern for her well-being. Eight years ago you didn’t care that you were hurting her and today you still don’t care that you are hurting her. The only reason you would be upset about your daughter not being invited to Stephanie’s home is that you have no empathy for Stephanie. You can’t see how she could possibly not like you after eight years. You assume that she should be fine with you if her life turned out okay. Try to see this from Stephanie’s point-of-view. She doesn’t like you. She was harmed by you. She can’t possibly trust you. She probably is afraid that your daughter will turn out like you and wants to protect her daughter from a backstabbing friend. Her choice is for no contact. You have to respect that choice whether you like it or not, even if your daughter’s feelings are hurt.

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