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Dear Wendy

Is it okay for your husband to hide that he is watching porn

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Is it okay for your husband to hide that he is watching porn

This topic contains 21 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Rebecca 5 months ago.

Viewing 10 posts - 13 through 22 (of 22 total)
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  • #681803 Reply

    Maybe your kids play with his phone now and he doesn’t want to expose them to his porn?

    I have a great idea on how to get to the bottom of this….

    ASK HIM ALREADY!
    Just a thought.

    #682613 Reply
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    Rebecca

    Going to agree with most of the other posters. Either a) it’s not porn, or b) it’s not a type of porn he thinks you’ll be okay with, so c) you should totally ask him wtf is up with that, because suddenly hiding shit isn’t cool.

    #682679 Reply
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    Anonymousse

    Why is suddenly deleting his browser “not cool?” It’s totally cool. People can have privacy WHILE also having a relationship. It’s possible!

    #682687 Reply
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    Ange

    I delete my browser history and cookies because sometimes I am looking up flights or things with changeable prices. If you don’t clear all that the site will often raise the price when you go back in for another look. Not saying that’s what this bloke is doing but there are often completely innocuous reasons for clearing history also and I certainly wouldn’t appreciate being interrogated about what I’m doing on my own damn phone.

    #682714 Reply
    FireStar
    Firestar

    Can’t he have a private life while married? Does he HAVE to share whatever porn he wants to watch alone? As long as there is no infidelity – is this really an issue? What exactly is the worry? That he is cheating? Or that he has some thoughts or feelings he doesn’t want to share?

    #682715 Reply
    FireStar
    Firestar

    What was the lie?

    #682717 Reply
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    cyndi

    I delete shit all the time. My hubby watches porn too. Doesn’t bother me . Sometimes we watch it together. Unless it interferes with your life- it’s ok

    #682727 Reply
    redessa
    redessa
    Participant

    I don’t think anyone is saying you are no longer entitled to privacy once you get married, or that deleting your browsing history is unusual. The problem people are seeing is that this is a change in his behavior.

    If he was previously open about whatever he does on his phone and has recently become secretive, it does raise some flags. Maybe it is just a matter of being more cautious because the kids are getting older. Maybe he’s being unfaithful. We don’t know and the LW doesn’t either.

    Anniesue, all you can do is ask him about it. If he has a reasonable explanation and you trust that he’s being honest, let it go. If he gets all defensive and seems to be making up excuses, and gets even more squirrelly about hiding what he’s doing, then you may have a problem.

    #682737 Reply
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    carolann
    Member

    I used to be bothered by my husband watching porn. He didn’t hide it, but some of the stuff that comes up on the front pages makes my stomach turn. I have seen his history and what he watches. He likes big butt girl porn and the amateur stuff people do from home. I have watched some with him. I am a retro collector (50s mostly, but I like all of it) so he has found me old stag films that I was able to sit through. It still didn’t do anything for me. Now I tease him about it sometimes when it comes up in history,but it doesn’t bother me because he doesn’t hide it.
    If you watch together and he is suddenly hiding I would think it was something he is afraid you would find gross or offensive or it is something else entirely.

    #682774 Reply
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    Rebecca

    Yeah, it’s the difference between deleting it because everyone (I hope!?) deletes their stuff from time to time, and a change in behavior from open to furtive.

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