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Dear Wendy

Is this 7 day vacation worth missing school for?

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This topic contains 68 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by avatar MaggieB 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #695963 Reply
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    Destinee

    I just found out I am going on a 7 day cruise that will cause me to miss 6 days on school. This will be in October of 2018 and I will be in 10th grade. Given that I am not even in 9th grade yet grade I have 0 idea of what my work load will be like. I’m sure that all my classes will be honors and Ap. Here’s a little back story. My Grandma is a travel agent so she often plans these trips and they cost less when it’s not summer. Last week she came over and told me the news and that she already put the deposit in(which is refundable) and my mood automatically changed and I think she could tell. We are not rich, which is why she is paying for me rather than my parents but I know my grandma will be working extra shifts at her regular job just to pay for me. Whenever we go on a trip I never enjoy myself because it’s just me and no one else my age. I just went on a cruise November 2016 and it was the worst and I felt terrible because she worked so hard for me to go and so I lied to her when she asked if I enjoyed myself. We also always share a room so that’s even more pressure to tell her that I don’t wanna go. You would think that we are close but we are not. The Highschool I’m going to has a policy where after when you miss 3 class periods for a class you have to make up 30 minutes for all the next missed class periods. So after doing the math it would be 540 minutes I would have to make up for that vacation and plusss all that makeup work being an honors and ap student. Now I could ask for the work in advance but I think it would still be too much to be trying to do if I already have other work to do at the same time as my already assigned work. Plus its 6 days of work that I wouldn’t have learned so how would I even know how to do it?? I may sound like I’m over exaggerating and I should calm down but I’m just in panic and trying to look out for my future self. If she wouldn’t have already put the deposit down I would have told her right off the bat NO I cannot go. Like I said I haven’t started highschool but i’ll be in 10th so I don’t know what my work load will be like. Some people also say its the hardest year of highschool.

    I don’t want to miss 6 days if school to go on a vacation I wont even enjoy myself on. I don’t want to tell her this because I may hurt her feelings.

    Do you think I should go or tell her to that I don’t want to go? And Also how do I tell her without hurting her feelings and letting her understand properly? I tend to explain things better when I quote people.

    THaNk YoU

    #695984 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    Tell your grandmother that when you are in high school you can’t afford to miss school. Thank her for thinking of you and wanting to give you the trip but you can’t do it.

    The reality may be the grandma wants to go on a cruise but doesn’t want to go alone and so she chooses to take you or she may want to give you a gift that she would have loved at your age. It doesn’t matter. It is very hard to miss school in high school and that is why the school discourages it with the forced make up time.

    Grandma shouldn’t be trying to take you during school.

    #695989 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    You haven’t mentioned what your parents think about you skipping school for a cruise. At your age, they’re the ones who should be telling your grandmother that she can’t do that.

    If they won’t, for whatever reason, you should just tell your grandma what you told us. The rules are different in high school, and you’ll be in big trouble if you miss that much school. You’ll fall way behind and have to spend a crazy amount of time trying to catch up. You can add that you’ll be so stressed about missing so many classes that you won’t be able to enjoy the cruise.

    #695994 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Eh… That’s a LAME policy. LOOK, I missed a TON of school back in the day. Like up to FOUR weeks my senior year. And I still maintained s 3:48 GPA. You learn far more exploring the world than you ever will sitting in classrooms — AP or otherwise.
    .
    To somebody whose grandparents are all now long dead — you pretty much sound like a spoilt, whiney, shockingly ungrateful brat. So yes — your poor grandmother should find sonebody else to take on a cruise. Somebody far more appreciative and worthy.

    #695996 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Hm. What do your parents think? My family traveled a fair amount when I was growing up, but nobody would have pulled me out of school for a week to do so. I personally don’t think your grandma should be trying to take you on a cruise during a time that isn’t a break, and think it’d be fine to tell her you don’t feel comfortable missing that much school. Or you can tell your parents, and have your parents tell her. Speak up now while it’s still refundable.

    #695997 Reply
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    Vathena

    @BGM, that’s not entirely fair. Yes, some trips are totally worth missing school for. But Grandma isn’t offering a trip to tour the cathedrals of Europe or help build a school in Botswana. She wants to hang out in a floating hotel with mediocre food, stopped-up toilets, and Legionnaires disease.

    And yes, some people completely regret not spending more time with their family members. Many people do not. If you’re not close, you’re not close. Not everyone’s grandma is a delightful old purple-wearing geezer. I’m not close to my grandparents, particularly my narcissist grandmother. I see them a few times a year for dinner and I definitely never want to use my vacation time to share a hotel room with them for a week, even if they’re paying.

    I’m also curious as to why the parents’ opinion doesn’t figure in here. If my mom wanted to take my teen daughter out of school to go on a trip, she would definitely have to run that plan by me first.

    #695998 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Oh, BGM, that’s silly! I know you’re old AF like I am, but don’t you remember being a teenager a little bit? Bunking with a grandma on a 6-day cruise where you know no one else and will be penalized for missing six days of school is not something most teenagers would be excited about, and just because it’s free doesn’t make anyone spoiled for not wanting it. Seriously, you sound like an old fogey. Plus, come on, cruises are not appealing to even a lot of adults. Potential seasickness aside, you’re in cramped quarters, often with terrible food, boring entertainment, and how much of a different culture to you even get to see? Not a whole lot. Plus, this LW went on a cruise last year and said it was terrible. Give her a break. She doesn’t want to go, and she shouldn’t feel bad for not going.

    That said, why aren’t Mom and Dad making the decision? Where are they in all of this?

    #696000 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Then don’t go. But for fucks sake! Stop whining about it. At any rate — this LW clearly should’t miss her AP math class anyway. How exactly does a SEVEN DAY cruise cause one to miss SIX DAYS of school? Enquiring minds REALLY want to know.
    .
    PS. Yeah, I guess I’m am old fogey. Because I actually always enjoyed spending time with my grandparents. I should have been more hip and only worried about what the cool kids vapidly prattled on about…

    #696002 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    I dunno my parents took us out of school for vacations all the time and I can’t say I missed a damn thing. Even in honors and AP classes there’s a ton of repetition. Most people in those classes should be able to miss a week without it having an impact on their ability to keep up. If asking for one lousy week of hw ahead of time is too much maybe she should reconsider her class load.

    #696003 Reply
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    Ron

    BGM: depending on the cruise, you’ll see nothing of the world beyond the cruise line’s captive sandy isolated resort and a shopping trip at a very touristy town with which the cruise company has a deal. To see another culture, fly into a foreign city, plunk yourself down there, and explore on foot and public transit. LW would probably enjoy that, but grandmother may not be up for that much walking and self-guidance in a strange land and the travel company she works for may not have discounts on that.

    #696004 Reply
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    MissDre
    Participant

    I skipped SO much school in high school! Like seriously, I never went, I hated high school. I think I missed over 50 days in a single semester. Were my grades great? No not really. Has that affected me as an adult? Nope!

    I still went to college, then I went to grad school and made the dean’s list. 8 years after finishing grad school I’m working a job I love, I’m a specialist in my field, I own a house, life is good.

    If you don’t want to go on a cruise, don’t go. But your life won’t end if you miss 6 days of school.

    #696005 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    I get it. You all really hate cruises. (Though I’d sure love to know just who has ever actually gone on one.) Oh, and yes — 10th Grade offers up a vast world of global culture appreciation and history lessions NOT to be missed.

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