Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is this odd

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This topic contains 15 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar Micah 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #716871 Reply
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    Hazel
    Member

    My husband and I made new friends when we moved a few hours away from home over a year ago. My husband’s mom has met them one time at our home. We have done couple outings with them and had taken pictures. We decided to invite them to our family’s summer weekend gathering. They came and we stayed at my MIL’s home as usually. When we arrived and I took them to the room they would be staying in I noticed a picture of us 4 from an outing in a frame on the dresser. They noticed too. Nothing has ever been said but my thought was how weird. She had done this once before with our friends she knew very well. It was our friends wedding and it was “the group” of our friends and no my MIL was not in the picture. She had displayed it but only for a while. I have not seen it again. Also, she never displayed pictures of me and her son until after we got married. I didnt say anything to my husband because I disnt want it to get back to her that it kind of had a freakish appeal but what do you think?

    #716872 Reply

    Nope. She’s doing it as a way to make your friends feel comfortable in her home.

    #716875 Reply

    I think it’s a little unusual but that she’s going out of her way to make a welcoming gesture. A bit of an odd one, but welcoming and sweet overall.

    #716880 Reply
    FireStar
    Firestar

    Agreed. She’s trying to be welcoming. It’s a little odd but rooted in sweetness.

    #716881 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    It’s not something that most people do, but I don’t think it’s THAT strange. More like endearingly quirky, not much more than that.

    #716884 Reply
    Guy Friday
    Guy Friday
    Participant

    I agree with everyone else, but I’d also add that she may like that picture too because it shows friends you guys have made that are supporting you those several hours away when MIL can’t do as much anymore. My grandmother has used that logic in having group pictures of my wife and I and our friends on her fridge; she says she looks at it and it reminds her not to worry because I’ve got people out here who love me.

    #716889 Reply
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    Hazel
    Member

    I could tell our friends were thrown off by it.Perhaps it could have been collaged with pictures of our other friends and not the only picture in the room. She has a poster collage of my husband and his friends out in the gaming room(back in his younger days). I think the refrigerator is a great place to put pictures, it’s not as personal as a guest room in which the guest are staying. I didn’t really see it as a welcoming gesture until now which might make since as to why she did. Also, your grandmother’s logic as to why she does that is precious but I don’t think that’s why my MIL did it. She planned it for the reason they were coming. That picture isnt in the room anymore.

    #716895 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Were they thrown off in a bad way? I’m a little surprised by that, I guess. My friends and I are all sort of on the same page that parents are weird and tend to laugh about the stuff the do from time to time. I’m pretty sure all of my friends would just have a good laugh about it if it happened when they were visiting. Obviously if someone’s parents did something really offensive it would be different, but something just a little odd like putting up a photo of them temporarily would be small potatoes. Is it that you guys don’t know each other very well, or are they sort of serious?

    #716900 Reply
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    FannyBrice

    The fact that it’s not there any more is just more evidence that she did because she thought it would make them feel welcome. I think you’re overthinking this – I’d bet your friends have either forgotten about it entirely or chalked it up to “odd but well intentioned” and don’t think about it at all.

    #716909 Reply
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    MMR

    It’s odd, but not alarming. I think this is one of those times when someone of an older generation doesn’t quite ‘get’ social media. (I’m assuming that’s where she got these pictures? Or did you send them to her?) If your friends are ‘freaked out’ about it, just tell them she does this sometimes. It’s really not a big deal.

    I would just chalk it up to a weird quirk and move one.

    #716971 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    A little weird but harmless. It’s about the same effort as washing the sheets before someone visits. If they opened the closet and there was a large shrine to them then I’d be worried.

    #716973 Reply
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    Bittergaymark

    This smacks of looking for a reason to pick a bone with somebody.
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    Seriously. Is it a bit odd? Yes.
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    Is it odder still that you wrote into advice forum clearly with the hopes that everybody would unanimously pile on your hapless MIL?
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    HELL YES!!

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