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Life..un..help!

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by avatar Leslie Joan 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #716579 Reply
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    Charlotte

    Ive just completed my first year at uni and love it, im doing environmental science and have had many opportunities that i should be proud of.. but im not. I have my own business with my partner, 3 jobs and go to uni.. whilst trying to keep myself sane!

    Everyday is a struggle with depression and anxiety and just feel like theres no way out.. im debating whether to leave uni and quit everything.

    What do you do when you’re at quits end? Help!!

    #716587 Reply
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    Heather

    Time to visit your GP immediately ( ok when you manage to get an appointment) to talk about your depression, possibly medication & get on their counselling services. Your Uni will also have counselling services. Or google some that are near you, & they invariably have a sliding scale on costs too. Yes, it’s not very British ( I’m taking a leap at guessing that you are), instead bottling feelings & coping is more the thing. But that doesn’t work against the black fog of depression. Plus family and friends are great, but they aren’t trained in knowing how to help and also there are somethings that need objectiveness and no judgement. A counselor/ therapist can also teach you coping strategy and to recognise patterns that you may fall into. Sort this out ASAP.

    Right now, for the things you can personally do for yourself: regular exercise in whichever form you like. But definitely 3/5 times a week for at least 30 mins as you need the endorphins it give you. I recommend yoga( google yoga & depression and you’ll see what I mean.) but even long( 40mins or more) walks help. Good nutrition is also very important, a diet of junk food feeds depression. These two things aren’t the sole answer to it but think of them as two legs of a chair along with the other legs of counselling and medication. You’re to going very probably need all four to make your chair( representing Life) comfortable. Sometimes, it can become a stool with only three legs needed, but trouble comes when legs disappear.

    I can’t say about quiting Uni, but you say you love it. So keep the one bright spot in your life, but you should talk to them about your depression and how you can work around this. Plus 3 jobs & a business with your partner & Uni? That is a lot to do all at once. Is your partner aware of your depression? As perhaps he or she can help alleviate some of the stress?

    #716588 Reply
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    Ron

    Good advice from Heather. Beyond that, 3jobs, a business, uni, and a relationship sound like you are very overburdened and may need to cut back somewhere. I’m guessing that you don’t have time in your week for the exercise Heather wisely suggests. How much time do these commitments you cite require in a week?

    #716589 Reply
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    Charlotte

    Hi heather,

    Thats some really good advice you have given me and i really appreciate you replyling. I have been on tablets before but found them to make me feel ‘not with it’ i felt awful on them so would like to try something thats not medicated and like you said yoga.. but its the case of not enough time which i need to make time for!!

    Its such a horrible feeling, i have a loving family and great friends so why should i feel this way.

    I definitely need to do more exercise and get myself a routine, i used to be active but yet again it creeps up with the whole no time for anything.

    My partners family is a very big stress.. i have never come across such an verbally abusive family.. i couldn’t imagine ever speaking to my loved ones the way these do.. it has a big effect on my life, to try and be there for my partner but not wanting to be around them and keeping him happy by being civil makes my head pop!

    I am definitely going to make the move and see a counsellor, it just helps to release the pressure just to talk to someone who doesnt know or will judge you

    Thank you so much for your kind words

    #716591 Reply
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    Charlotte

    Hi Ron, thank you for the advise also, it all really helps..it takes up the whole week i never actually stop.. i used to go to the gym everyday but i gave no time for anything anymore

    #716592 Reply
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    Charlotte

    Hi heather,

    Thats some really good advice you have given me and i really appreciate you replyling. I have been on tablets before but found them to make me feel ‘not with it’ i felt awful on them so would like to try something thats not medicated and like you said yoga.. but its the case of not enough time which i need to make time for!!

    Its such a horrible feeling, i have a loving family and great friends so why should i feel this way.

    I definitely need to do more exercise and get myself a routine, i used to be active but yet again it creeps up with the whole no time for anything.

    My partners family is a very big stress.. i have never come across such an verbally abusive family.. i couldn’t imagine ever speaking to my loved ones the way these do.. it has a big effect on my life, to try and be there for my partner but not wanting to be around them and keeping him happy by being civil makes my head pop!

    I am definitely going to make the move and see a counsellor, it just helps to release the pressure just to talk to someone who doesnt know or will judge you

    Thank you so much for your kind words

    #716601 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Just to be clear, not every type of medication gives the same effects. Most people have to try out several different ones before they find the right one. Trying one and then not liking it isn’t really enough to say that medication is wrong for you. For some people, other things can be helpful, but for many people, nothing is going to be as effective as actual treatment. But speaking to a counselor can help you determine what is most effective for you.

    #716607 Reply
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    FannyBrice

    I imagine you’re exhausted, which is going to exacerbate depression, anxiety, and stress. You need to sleep, of course, but you also just need time to relax, veg out on the couch, read, meditate, whatever you do to decompress.

    Of the 3 jobs, is it possible for you to quit one? Or maybe take a step back from the day-to-day running of your business, leaving most of it to your partner? I’d also suggest counseling for your partner to deal with his family stress – if he has someone other than you to vent to, it may make your time together more pleasant as well.

    #716615 Reply
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    Charlotte

    Hi there, yes i know but how i felt on the first one which was the lowest does! Made me feel like i was in slow mo! I’ve had some good advice which can help naturally and if that fails then kast resort is definitely tablets again

    #716616 Reply
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    Charlotte

    Hi fannybrice

    Yes i think that’s whats causing the stress is exhaustion.. just wanting to jump straight into bed! Over this weekend i have been thinking about quitting 1 job..its not worth my mental health!
    As for my partner he has a counsellor on the phone he can vent to ( thats if he uses it) but i have definitely recommend him going and even myself to help him

    Thank you ????

    #716738 Reply
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    Leslie Joan

    Charlotte, no wonder you’re exhausted – heck, **I’m** exhausted just reading about all you do. I wonder if you can’t drop more than 1 other task. And to be spending so much time with your boyfriend’s toxic family is another hugeweight to carry. Uni seems like a world apart and a good thing for you. It’s okay not to be able to do everything, and self care is important and takes time.

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