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my best friend's girlfriend, who is also my ex, is controlling my friend

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice my best friend's girlfriend, who is also my ex, is controlling my friend

This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 1 month, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #682654 Reply
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    Ruby McNab

    I dated this girl for a while and she wasn’t awful, just really controlling and selfish. I didn’t see the extent of it until after I broke up with her. Now, my best friend is dating her. She’s controlling my friend and she can’t see it and says she’s really happy. My ex, who was supposedly still my friend, is now being a bitch to me and I swear she was texting me acting like I was my friend! I don’t know what to do because she’s trying to take my friend away from me and is being awful to her.

    #690761 Reply

    Hi, Ruby McNab. In a time ago, I was in the same situation as you: My ex girlfriend wasn’t the best person in world, and one day she ask my friend in a relationship, so as long their relationship was going my ex always making plans to separate me and my friend, I don’t know if was jealous, or she was mad with me, but she always make my friend’s head. And, one day, my friend and I had a fight ( because my ex tell her a lie about me). So what I done? I stopped to make any contact with my friend. ‘Cause, if your friend chose listen to her girlfriend instead her friend, your friendship isn’t strong or even real.
    If I was you, I would talk with my friend about everything is going on, about the personality of your ex, make sure that she know the person she’s dating, don’t tell lies, just open your friend’s eyes. I wish i could had a soft conversation with my friend in pass, so if you have a chance GRAB IT!
    But if she doesn’t believe in you or your ex get change your friend’s mind, just let they be. Shake it off. You haven’t keep upsetting yourself, that isn’t healthy for your mind and life.
    And make your friend break up with her girlfriend is not a nice thing to do, if you love your friend (that I make sure you do) you suppose to be happy for her, even if her’s girlfriend is a completely idiot.
    You don’t necessarily need to COMPLETELY separate of your friend, just stay away of your ex.
    I could tell you a lot of different ways but only you can make the final decision to make things right. You know your friend, you must know the things she believe, the things that make her mad, all that stuff. So, have a minute to yourself, think: “what is the best thing to do?”. I gave you a lot of options, you choose what of then you will use.

    XoXo

    #690763 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Nobody can “take a friend away” from you. Is she holding a gun to your friend’s head? No? Then your friend is choosing her own actions.

    That said, it’s pretty common for people to drift away from their friends in the early days of a relationship. Relax, back off, give her space, if your ex is really that awful, your friend will realize it soon enough.

    #690764 Reply
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    Leslie Joan

    I agree with Essie. Eventually your friend will figure out the situation with your ex. I definitely wouldn’t say anything bad about the ex to your friend – it will only make her defensive, and would serve to push them closer together and to encourage your friend to dismiss everything you say. She’s got to figure this out on her own, or anything you say will be used against you, I’m sorry to say.

    It may take some time, but be patient and pleasant to both of them. Eventually your friend will figure it out and will appreciate your presence and will appreciate that you didn’t try to pressure her. I know it’s hard to watch, but that’s all you can do without making things worse.

    #690777 Reply
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    Ron

    LW sounds jealous.

    #690778 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    I’m not sure exactly what you mean when you say your ex is trying to take your friend away. It’s not your place to try to break them up, and if you try, you will be much more likely to lose your friend. If your ex is that bad, then I assume your friend will eventually break up with her. You’re just going to have to wait it out. Try not to start too much drama or you might hurt the chances of remaining friends even after they break up.

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