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Dear Wendy

“My Boyfriend Takes Everything I Say as Personal Insult”

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice “My Boyfriend Takes Everything I Say as Personal Insult”

This topic contains 12 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Leslie Joan 3 months ago.

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    Leslie Joan

    It doesn’t really matter if he’s insecure and overcompensating, or whether he’s just plain over-reactive or controlling. The bottom line is that HE is not comfortable enough with who HE is and where he’s been to be able to have a reasoned, balanced conversation about it. He doesn’t know how to handle disagreement, so he personalizes it. Now, LW could try the, “when you say X, I feel Y” approach, but based on what she’s described, I don’t see that making a difference. He’s allowed to feel what he feels, because reasons, and thinks it’s okay to go after LW instead of explaining in any detail. And the bit about taking her comments about women in the media as being male bashing is just obnoxious. It doesn’t matter if the reason is that he feels inferior to the LW because of his past, or because he’s got a pimple on his ass. It’s unacceptable, and it makes for a crappy relationship. He’s not going change, and it’s time to move on.

    Oh, and LW? He’s not as opposed to using drugs as you think. I’d be willing to bet money that anyone who is so extreme would be only too ready to justify using anything he chooses later on, whenever it suits him. Folks who have suffered with addiction know that sobriety is a day by day choice, even if it’s been years since they’ve used. Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much. You don’t want to be like the other recent poster here whose husband just flat out lied to her about using weed regularly, though it’s not legal in their state and he married her knowing she objected. And when he DOES start using again, I can guarantee you he’ll still find a way to excuse what he does and tell you you’re wrong.

    Find someone who is more like yourself.

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