Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My boyfriend won't watch my kid.

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This topic contains 72 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by avatar Gwyneth6 3 months, 1 week ago.

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    My boyfriend of one year is still super against watching my daughter for 6 hours once a week for me to be able to work. We live together and he accepted her from the start. I was a single mother and have close to no support outside of my boyfriend but my boyfriend does pay the bills and barely asks me to pay anything (even though I offer). He likes to use the I work to support you guys so I don’t need to do anything else excuse when I ask for him to watch her every Saturday morning. I am not sure if I am asking too much or I am in the right to be upset when I have asked him for a few months now and it has led to arguments. I don’t have him change diapers I don’t ask him to pay for anything for her. I just don’t understand why he feels he has to Mr.right all the time and be selfish or am I just asking to much?


    Not being willing to watch her after a year doesn’t sound accepting.


    It worries me that you are isolated and seemingly financially dependent on this man after only a year of dating.


    How old is she?


    It worries me not only what JC said, but that she’s willing to leave her young daughter in the care of man that she’s only been with for a year.

    Why not hire a babysitter for Saturdays?


    He accepts that your daughter exists. That does not mean he’s willing to accept the role of father-figure for her. Selfish or not, financial help is all he’s willing to contribute to the raising of your child. (And frankly, I think that’s a LOT for a boyfriend – especially considering it started less than a year into your relationship.)

    He’s been very clear about where he draws the line. Why are you repeatedly arguing with him about this? Your choices are to accept him as is and arrange for your own childcare or decide your kid deserves better than to have to live with someone with no interest in being an actual part of her life and leave him.


    No your boyfriend of one year should not be watching or be alone with your kid. Quit pushing it, learn to make it without depending on people you have known a year who don’t want to watch your kid. That is how you end upon the news

    Ruby Thursday

    I’d like to know more about your plan regarding he needs to watch her for six hours and you don’t have him change diapers.


    +1 CJ said. If he is paying other bills, what is stopping you from hiring a baby sitter on Saturdays ?


    He works all week to support you two and now you want him to babysit for 6 hours of his weekend? Um, no.


    You never leave your child in the care of someone who actually doesn’t care about her. She should never be alone with him. Hire a sitter. A sitter is at least paid to care. But how sad for your daughter you picked a guy that only tolerates her. Your first duty is to her and you’re failing.


    Your boyfriend is allowed to decide whether or not he wants to watch your kid. He doesn’t owe you free childcare. That being said, you should not be living with someone who doesn’t want to watch your kid. What kind of a life is that for your daughter, to grow up with a man living in her house who doesn’t care for her? If you’re going to live with someone, it should be someone who accepts her as a daughter. Watching her would be a no-brainer for him, because it’s his kid too. Your boyfriend does not see her as his kid. You need to put her needs first, but you’re not.

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