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New Job & Feel Like Giving Up

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This topic contains 43 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar Ange 1 week, 3 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 44 total)
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  • #698805 Reply
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    ele4phant

    I preface this all by saying, my first adult job was in admin at an engineering firm and I *hated* it. It was a bad fit for me, I do something else now, I’m better at it, and I’m much happier. But, my complaints were that I wasn’t great a detail oriented admin work, and my manager was pretty bad about giving constructive feedback. It wasn’t about the social scene, it wasn’t that I felt I was supposed to have a purpose. It was that I was doing poorly and didn’t have the support I needed to improve or fix my mistakes.

    Because girl, you are there to work. Not make friends. Not feel fulfilled. They need help with some tasks, so they hired someone (you) to do them, and in return they’re going to pay you money. That’s it, that’s the deal.

    I think, if you’ve only been there a month it makes sense you may be bored because they aren’t giving you stuff yet, and ultimately, this type of work may not be what you do forever, but lower your expectations.

    I might approach your supervisor in a constructive way, saying, I have been trained on X, Y, and Z, and feel like I can take on more now. What is the best way to let engineers a, b, and c know I’m ready for tasks. Is it best to approach them directly? Check in with your manager to find out if there are any performance issues that haven’t been expressed to you directly, and if so, ask for feedback on how to correct.

    Focus on making sure you are fulfilling the roll you were hired to do, and stop worrying about how much fun you’re having or that you’re being “included” socially. This is just a job.

    Also yeah, engineers are more socially awkward people, in general. Learn to not take it personally by, just not taking it personally. Again, you are there to work. That’s it.

    #698948 Reply
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    Jessica

    Thank you all for your advice. I’ve come to the conclusion that this job just isn’t for me. Yes it pays okay and gives me benefits but the boredom is excruciating. I have volunteered, told everyone I am available and they barely give me anything. The female engineer completely ignored my email saying I’m available to help. Went in her office yesterday to deliver something to her and she acted like I was a stranger. I’m just not cut out for a job where I have to practically beg for something to do. So I am now trying to go back to a previous job I had (not with my controlling Dad) and see if I can get out of here quick. I have literally been sitting here all morning with absolutely zero to do. I have NEVER experienced this in any other job I just started. And the scary part is they have no plan for me. I could seriously see them eliminating this position eventually since it’s such a waste of money for them. I know many of you will say I am being too impatient, but I am living something differently than maybe I am conveying verbally on here. It’s much different when your actually living this. I’ve always said it’s not about the money, but about the job satisfaction.

    #698955 Reply
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    Leslie Joan

    As long as you aren’t going back to work for your abusive dad. Because that job didn’t look to be at all secure, in addition with having to put up unacceptable treatment.

    The good news is that you’ll have plenty of time to job search….. good luck!

    #698956 Reply
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    ele4phant

    Hey, if you’re unhappy, go find a new job.

    And if there actually isn’t much that can be given to you, then yeah, maybe you will be let go sometime in the future.

    But I’d hang on until you have another job before you quit. Being bored sucks, but at least you’re still getting a paycheck while you figure something else out, or you know, unemployment if you get laid off. If you up and quit, you lose that financial support.

    In the meantime, can you find projects on your own? Does your manager know of any long-standing overhead projects that could be done that nobody ever has because they are low priority? Could you take the initiative to reorganize the supply closest if its a mess or something?

    And you still seem a little to hung up still on how they (the female engineer in particular) treat you. I mean yes, ultimately you want to be in a culture in which you feel comfortable and fit in and this may not be it, but you do need to learn to draw the distinction between what is personal and what’s just the culture, and is just not a good fit personally vs what’s a toxic environment. This sounds like a group of quiet, reserved people, which maybe you are not. But it doesn’t sound toxic.

    It’ll make the job more tolerable if you stop taking it personally that your female engineer “treats you like a stranger” when you go into her office unsolicited. That’s her personality, its not about you, and from her perspective, you interrupted her work, you know? How is she supposed to respond? Stop whatever she was doing and spend ten minutes chatting with you about your weekend plans? Some people will be chatty when you go up to them unsolicited, some aren’t and will just want to get back to their work if you approach them with a question.

    I think it’s right that you go in there without waiting to ask her if she has anything to do, but also lower your expectations in how she should respond. Just go in there, ask her if she needs help with something that day, and if all you get is a “No, I’m good”, just take it at face value not as an personal affront.

    #698966 Reply
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    Jessica

    @ele4phant: I think I didn’t explain myself well with what I’m expecting from the female engineer. I’m 100% not expecting a friendship or super friendly relationship. What I’m expecting is for her to delegate me work like she promised in my interview. And she’s not a shy unfriendly person, I hear her talking and being super friendly all the time with others. But that’s besides the point, the point is that I’m supposedly her assistant. She fought to have this position created and now that I’m hear it’s like I don’t exist. I try and I put myself out there by asking for work, but it’s just silence. I feel like I was frauded in my interview.

    I also just found out from the receptionist here that the other woman who had my position only lasted 2 months because of the same exact reasons I’m complaining about. She’s said they were always trying to lay the blame on her saying she wasn’t asking (which is what they told me in my interview), but really the truth is she was asking all the time and they never gave her anything. So she got fed up and left.

    I wouldn’t never leave this position of course without having something else lined up first. I’m not that impulsive. 🙂

    #698968 Reply
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    Bittergaymark

    Oh, I so, so get this.

    My big writing gig is unexpectedly exasperating as my partner and I keep getting rather strange notes from producers… I mean laugh out loud silly at times. Meanwhile, the studio notes are solid, tight, and valid. The ones from this other group, however, constantly leave us either scratching our heads or banging them against the fucking wall…

    #698993 Reply
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    Sara

    In light of your update, not only would I schedule those meetings, I would also start emailing to ask what they’d like for you to pick up instead of asking in person, then you have it documented.

    This is giving me bad memories of a job where they wanted me to come in because the 2 guys there already were pulling 70-80 hours a week. The 70-80 was not needed…the boss was an anal-retentive (and emotionally abusive) asshole who couldn’t let go. I was sent offsite to cover for someone who had taken a job elsewhere, and when I came back to the main office a few months later, they barely offloaded any work to me. Pyscho boss was eventually let go, and I was still only half-trained on my main job, and I had new bosses coming in who naturally expected me to know what the f I was doing.

    #698994 Reply
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    Rose

    I’m kind of in a similar situation right now. I started a new job two weeks ago in a completely different field, and there’s been almost no training. I’ve emailed my bosses asking them what I should work on/do and they don’t have anything to tell me. On top of that, they don’t even have basic things prepared for me like my office phone turned on. A woman came in to “train” me today and basically yelled at me for not knowing what I’m doing already despite the fact that the information I have is out of date (the last guy didn’t update anything past 2015) I don’t have basic information like what my budget is or what I am/am not allowed to do, and no one answers my questions when I ask. I’m worried they will fire me or eliminate the position, but I’m also confident I could accomplish a lot if only I had the information I need. Maybe give it a few more weeks and then start looking for a new job, but don’t go back to your dad. I wouldn’t pay any mind to how they treat you either, some people just take time to warm up to new people.

    #716336 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    These ‘no one at work likes me questions are a trend, it seems!

    https://www.thecut.com/2017/09/ask-polly-half-of-my-co-workers-hate-me.html

    #716341 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Omg, that letter AND the response are just such total bullshit, I can’t even. What is wrong with people?

    #716349 Reply
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    Northern Star

    Cripes. That is a crazy letter AND response.

    “Maybe my coworkers don’t like me because I’m better than they are, even though I do my best to hide my disdain for them.”

    Yeah. Probably.

    #716370 Reply
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    Kate

    Also, half my co-workers are my bff’s but I cannot effectively do my job because I’m obsessed with the fact that not every last person loves me.

    Whatever happened to, like, putting on some slacks and a top and going into the office, sitting down at your computer, drinking a coffee, being pleasant and helpful, and doing your damn job?

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